Ringleader in Hollywood
by Another Sarcastic Teenager
Summary: Maya Martinez was a big time movie star who was getting bored in the glitz and glam of Hollywood. However, when the set's translator gets sick, Maya takes the opportunity to get her sister Max, an ex-Croatian Circus ringleader, back in the States. Hollywood won't know what hit it.
1. Phone a Friend?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, I don't own the picture used for the cover, and I don't own a Ferrari. What else is new?**

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Maya Martinez ran her hand over her face in an attempt to regulate her breathing like her yoga teacher had been drilling in her head. All around her, chaos reigned supreme. Chickens were running past squawking, men in giant toast costumes were running about shouting, "Has anyone seen my butter slice?" and her fellow actors were looking just as baffled as she was. The Director was running around, his clipboard in his hand, and shouting random things at random people. "No, no, no! The breakfast commercial is being filmed next door! Somebody get rid of these silly actors in food costumes!" Maya gripped her head and was overcome with the urge to pound it against the nearest wall.

Though her life on the set was hectic to say the least, she loved it. She loved the excitement, the thrill, and the all-around skill it took to be in a movie. To completely change your personality, your thought process, your speech, you had to be able to do all of that to even have half a shot in the movie industry. And sometimes the sour fact of the business was that the part went to the prettiest not the best. That's just the way things went. You're in one day and blacklisted the next. You don't complain, you accept it and move on, well in theory. Of course there were the bitter ones, but Maya had no intention of getting to know the bitter ones particularly well.

Maya was one of the lucky few that had been in this business for several years and it didn't look as if she'd be showing any sign of stopping anytime soon. She'd been gifted with the talent and the looks and for that she was grateful. She had been a child actor when she was a little kid. Not a big one, but she'd been featured in those little kids shows where all teenage stars seem to get their start. She'd moved onto commercials, small bit parts in other movies, and finally she got her lucky break and had been the adorable, loving daughter to some at the time famous movie star. Since then, she'd been the star of three movies and had become a big face. Lately, she'd been working on breaking into the action portion of the business. Before it had mostly been romantic comedies and stuff like that, but she wanted to branch out. Expand her horizons. And it had been going pretty well.

However, gifted as she may be, Maya wasn't prepared to do her own stunts, such as fights and jumps and explosions and motorcycle jumps. In light of this, she had to get a stunt double. Maya personally didn't think that the girl they got was any good. The girl looked absolutely nothing like Maya, her hair was bright red for goodness sakes, she did some… interesting interpretations of Maya's mannerisms, and she seemed to think that she was a bigger deal than she was. It irked Maya to no end that she was being portrayed by such a mediocre actress, stunt double, person thingy. Maya didn't even know her name. It might be Beatrice, but there was a very good chance that it wasn't. Maya hadn't spent a whole lot of time getting to know essentially the back of her head.

As Maya sat back in her comfortable actress's chair, the comfortable cloth chairs that were always in the TV shows (they were truly better than everyone thought they were), a bedraggled man with a very rumpled suit wandered past. He was looking very lost and was repeating the same thing in a language that Maya didn't understand. She was no slouch when it came to languages, she spoke several decently, but not enough that she recognized what the man was saying. Maya was pretty sure that the guy was some foreign investor of the movie but what she didn't know was why the man didn't have his ever-present translator trailing behind him. She had overheard someone a few minutes ago that a few members of the crew had Mono and were passing it around. Maybe the translator was sick.

"Alright everyone to set!" the Director shouted. Maya looked up with a quirked eyebrow. She knew that she wasn't scheduled to film anything until later today, but she always enjoyed watching others at work and today was an interesting point in the movie. Maya was getting up to go to set when she heard the Director saying loudly, "I don't know what you're saying!" She could only assume that he was talking to the foreign investor because all she could hear on the other end of the conversation was gibberish and babble from the foreign investor who was that sounded quite frantic. "What are you saying? English! TRY ENGLISH!" More hysterical babble. "Does anyone know a translator? Our normal one got Mono and she's out for like a month," the Director shouted in desperation. Aha! Maya knew it. There was silence from everyone gathered at the set. Most people here didn't know anyone outside of Hollywood or who could speak adequate English, let alone a different language.

Maya racked her brain trying to think of someone who would do. She quickly got an answer, but it wasn't necessarily a good one, nor one that would work. "I do," Maya said slowly, thinking of an old... acquaintance.

"Call them," the Director begged. "Now."

"Yeah, funny thing is I don't know exactly where she is. I can try Skype but there is absolutely no guarantee that she'll answer or that'll she'll be able to help."

"Who is she?" the Director asked curiously, he really couldn't help it.

Maya bit her lip, rolled her eyes, and ground out, "My sister." Silence met her answer. Everyone on set, no everyone in Hollywood and anyone who read Hollywood's tabloids, knew that Maya didn't like her sister. From what several said, she despised her, and from others, that her sister was dead. No one was really sure. Well, at least it was confirmed that Maya's sister wasn't dead.

"But she speaks a bunch of languages?" the Director asked eagerly, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah, more than anyone else I know," Maya answered truthfully.

"Call her. Please call her," the Director begged. Maya nodded and scrambled to a laptop that someone had left lying on a craft service table. She dragged it over and clicked on the Skype icon and quickly typed in an account name. MaximumRide474. There was a waiting period and Maya was about to shut the computer off and tell the Director it was a bust when her call was accepted. Maya leaned forward eagerly and waited impatiently to see her sister's smiling face. Instead she came face to face with a bright white face, mouth outlined in bright red, and a comical red nose. The clown was also grinning quite creepily. It took all of Maya's self-control not to shriek out loud. Fortunately, all she did was jump slightly.

"Bok?" the clown asked curiously.

"Uh," Maya trailed off. Truth be told, while this wasn't normal, she'd been greeted with worse when trying to contact her sister. Like the time she got her call accepted by a goat herder wearing nothing but a loin cloth with a goat chewing on his waist-length hair. "Max?"

"Ah!" the clown's face lit up, or at least Maya thought it did behind all that caked on make-up. He held up a finger in the universal 'wait one moment sign' and shouted behind him in a heavily accented voice, "Max!" Then, the clown moved off camera and left Maya waiting impatiently, listening to muffled shouts coming from the other end of the conversation.

From the limited view afforded by the webcam in her sister's computer, Maya could see a flurry of movement going on. People were running to and fro, carrying boxes, juggling what appeared to be flaming bowling pins, doing flips and cartwheels, and shouting at each other in bizarre languages. Every now and then, a word or two in English would slip through, but they were so heavily accented Maya had no idea what they were saying. Maya tapped her fingers on the laptop's keyboard, almost completely unaware of the loud gathering behind her. She vaguely heard a few shuffles and muttering but just as she was about to turn around, there was even more movement on the screen.

Finally, footsteps could be heard walking over to the computer and a loud voice in English, shouting, "I don't care where you put the piranhas, just keep them far away from my bed! And Yorgi, get your dumbass brother's head away from the lion's mouth right now!" A rough, guttural command followed, presumably at Yorgi, and suddenly there was a person flopping down in the chair in front of the computer. "Hey ya sis," the girl sighed in exasperation. She blew a chunk of hair out of her eyes and rested her chin on her hand. "What brings you calling to my little slice of hell?"

"Hey Max," Maya chuckled at her over-dramatic sister. She might have been the drama and theater nut that ended up in the movie business, but Max was just as dramatic, if not more so, than her sister. "What the hell is wrong with your face?" Maya sputtered.

"Oh the make up?" Max asked with a laugh. Her face was caked in so much powder and blush it was impossible to know what her natural skin tone was. Her eyes were outlined thickly and her eyelashes coated in so much mascara you could barely see her eyes.

"Yes the makeup. Last time I saw you, you would only wear lip-gloss. Now you look like you should be waiting on the corner for a mime to pick you up," Maya snorted.

"We also haven't seen in each other face to face for a good four years," Max pointed out with a smirk.

"Yeah, but didn't you always say that you would never dye your hair," Maya challenged.

"Indeed," Max nodded. Max's hair was an obnoxious, fire-engine red that was falling in clumps in her eyes. The hair coupled with the horrible makeup had Maya unsure if this person was really her sister. "It's a one day thing, comes out in the shower. I need it for my gig tonight," Max explained with a laugh.

"As what, a pole dancer?" Maya asked bluntly.

Max threw her head back and all but roared with laughter. When she finally got her giggles under control, she managed to gasp out between chuckles, "Nope." She popped the 'p' with flair.

"Then why are you dressed like a street walker?" Maya asked in confusion.

"I'm a ringleader in a circus tonight Maya," Max snickered.

"Oh," Maya drew the word out so long it sounded like it was fifteen syllables. "That explains a lot." Max stuck her tongue out at her sister and blew a raspberry at her. "How long have you been working there?" Maya asked, leaning forward on her clasped hands. She hadn't gotten to call or talk to her sister in months and it felt great to reconnect with Max.

"Tonight it's going to be about… two hours," Max pretended to concentrate really hard just to aggravate her sister.

"Max," Maya groaned and felt like pounding her head on the desk. "Well, where are you?"

"I dunno," Max shrugged in indifference.

"Well don't you think you should find out?" Maya asked through her hand that she'd face-palmed with. It seemed like a better plan than to lose brain cells from pounding her skull for long periods of time on the table.

"Maybe," Max shrugged again. Maya sighed and gestured with her hand for her sister to do so. Max looked over her shoulder and started shouting out loud in the same odd language from before, or at least Maya thought it was the same. There was some response that sounded suspiciously like someone hawking a loogie and Max shouted something else and pointed somewhere off camera. When she was done, she turned to face her sister and said, "Somewhere in Croatia. Where's that? Europe?"

"Yes Max, Croatia's in Europe," Maya wished her sister was here to whap her upside the head. Max had an amazing knack for picking up languages but was terrible at geography. She never got lost but she could barely tell you what continent she was on at any given moment. "How long have you been there?"

"Where? Croatia or Europe?"

"Both Max," Maya said with a groan.

"Croatia I'd guess I've been here for probably a week or two and I've been in Europe for a couple months."

"When'd you leave Africa?" Maya asked curiously. The last time she'd heard from her sister had been when she was participating in various political riots in some of the lesser known countries in Southern Africa and Maya had been insanely worried for her sister's safety.

"I might have almost gotten arrested in Egypt, so I kind of fled the country and caught a ride with some sleazy boat dude like half a year ago. Why?"

"No reason Max. What did Mom say when she heard you almost got arrested again?" Max had the decency to look sheepish and Maya shook her head in disbelief. "You haven't told her yet have you?" Max shook her head. "Well when's the last time you talked to mom?"

Max looked, if possible, even more sheepish. "It's been maybe a year," she trailed off.

Maya shook her head at her sister. "She's going to KILL you," she said with absolute certainty.

"Probably," Max nodded. "So what's new with you?"

"I'm in a movie, you should come back to the States when it's released, the openings are always fun and it'd be more entertaining with you there offering commentary," Maya said. She could have gone into more details about what'd she been doing, but she was far more interested in what Max had been doing lately. Truth be told, Maya was getting bored in Hollywood. It was the same day in and day out and all she wanted to hear were some of Max's amazing stories from around the world.

"Maybe," Max laughed, but Maya knew she wasn't going to come back. She hadn't for the last three movies so why would this one be any different? Now that Maya thought about it, four years had really changed her sister. Contrary to popular belief (and by popular she meant the tabloids) Maya Martinez had absolutely no harsh feelings towards her sister. The only reason she avoided the topic when it was brought up in interviews was because she wanted to keep Max out of the national spotlight when she wasn't even in the country to defend herself.

"Look Maya, I've loved talking with you and we totally need to do this again, but I need to go. I'll call you later, okay?" Just as Max was moving to turn the conversation off Maya remembered exactly why she'd called her sister in the first place and she called out for her to stop.

"Wait, Max!" the hand stalled. "There's this guy, he's really been an amazing help in the financial area of the movie I'm working on but he doesn't speak any English. Our translator got Mono and we can't find anyone on the entire set who speaks his language. Do you think you could translate for us? Just for a moment, I promise," Maya all but begged.

Max looked at the clock and sighed dramatically, "If I can I will. Put him on and make it quick."

Maya smiled widely and gushed, "Thanks Max. I'll be right back. Don't move!" Maya wove her way through the chaos of the movie set and grabbed the foreign man's arm. His eyes were wide and he struggled fruitlessly against her iron clad grip. He started shrieking something in a high falsetto voice in that nasally little language of his that Maya had absolutely no idea of what he was saying. She dragged him over to where the computer was set up and forcibly pushed him down into the chair. She pointed towards the webcam and said, "Speak."

The man started yelling at her, waving his hands around, and he tried to stand up. Suddenly, a voice cut through his ranting and ravings, "Uh ... Olá?" The man whipped his head around and around, looking for the source of the voice. When he finally looked at the computer and saw Max waving at him, he looked desperate.

"Você fala Português?" he asked hopefully, his hands clasped together tightly.

"Sim. O que você precisa?"

"Uma casa de banho. Fui pedir as últimas duas horas e ninguém vai me responder!"

"Ah," Max nodded in understanding. She turned her attention to her sister and said simply, "He wants to know where the bathroom is."

"Really? That's it?" Maya asked in surprise. "Tell him it's down the hall and to the right." Max translated for the man quickly and he went running off, shouting words of thanks behind him as he sprinted to the restroom. "Thanks Max, you really saved my butt today. I owe you one," Maya sighed in relief.

"Yes you do," Max agreed with a cocky grin. Suddenly, Maya was pushed away and an older man with graying black hair and thick-framed glasses was staring intently at Max through the computer.

"Would you come be our translator?" he asked intently, staring right at Max.

"What?" Max asked in confusion. She had no idea who this man was and she had no idea where her sister went.

"Would you come to Hollywood and be our translator?" the older man repeated.

"Why?" Max snorted.

The Director looked thrilled that Max was conversing with him. He grinned and explained, "We need someone to come speak whatever the heck this man is speaking."

Max raised an eyebrow and said, "He's speaking Portuguese. And I thought Maya said you already had one."

"She's going to be out for a while and you're the first person I've ever heard speak that language. There seems to be a shortage of translators for some reason."

"You're in Hollywood," Max pointed out. "There's bound to be at least a handful of people out there that can speak Portuguese. It's not even my best language."

"Regardless," the man shook his head. "We're dealing with a lot of different foreign people investing in this film and I've had to find a translator for every dialect. If you were over here, we'd need a lot fewer people which would save us money. Please?"

"I'm really not planning on coming back to the States anytime soon, sorry," Max said, actually sounding apologetic.

"Please? If, IF, you wanted to get back to the States how fast could you get here?"

"I don't know. The earliest wouldn't be for another month of two."

"No good, I need you this week!"

"Um… no," Max said slowly. "I'm not coming."

"Please Max," Maya cut back in. She pushed herself up off the ground, flipping her hair out of her eyes and glaring at the older man out of the corner of her eyes. "I'll totally owe you more than before. And I'd make it up to you. I promise!"

"And I'll pay you," the man offered energetically. "A lot! I promise!"

Max deliberated for a moment and she tapped her fingers on the table, furrowed her brow, and bit her lip. She was thoughtful for a moment before groaning, "Fine, I'll come."

The older man let out a loud and childish whoop and did a little victory jig. "Excellent!" he shouted, his hands in the hair victoriously. "I'll get you a plane. Just get to the Croatian International Airport tonight by 9:30 and I'll see you in two days! Thank you!" With that, the overly excited man went running off, leaving a slightly flustered and irritated Max alone with her older sister.

"It'll be good to see you again Max," Maya said sincerely.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Max waved her hand flippantly in the air. "I have to go let a bunch of Croatian trapeze artists, knife throwers, and fire jugglers who have angry lions and piranhas that I'm bailing on them after tonight. I'm sure that'll go well," Max said sarcastically. "If you don't hear from me in the next twenty-four hours, assume they killed me and send the authorities to look for my body."

"You got it sis. Good luck." Max nodded once and closed the laptop's lid. Maya smiled to herself and felt like going after the Director with a happy dance of her own. She had missed her sister more than she thought she would and was psyched beyond belief that Max was coming back. She should probably call her mother and let her know… nah. She'd leave that honor to Max. Maya smiled to herself and got up to go to set.

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**I'm for sure planning to make this several chapters long, but I've got a crazy hectic schedule, so I'll update as soon as possible. Just don't expect anything too soon.**

**I'm If you have any questions or anything like that, leave a review or PM me. **

**So, that's about it. See ya!**


	2. Like a Punch to the Gut

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. If I did, would I be on this site? I think not.**

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Maximum Martinez considered herself to be a girl of many talents. Some of these talents were useful, and others she could only use in the most bizarre of circumstances. For example, speaking Spanish, she could and did use that often. However, speaking Swahili? Yeah, she didn't use that so often. Which was probably a good thing, seeing as the last time she'd been down in Swaziland (possibly the only place that SPOKE Swahili) she had accidently told her tour guide to go screw a potato with a wristwatch when asking for the whereabouts of the bathroom. Needless to say, she was not welcome back in that tour area. However, one of the skills that Maximum Martinez most certainly did NOT possess was patience. If she didn't get what she wanted, right about the time she wanted it, she got rather testy.

Max had been on a plane ride from the Croatian International Airport to some Airport in London for a little over an hour. The plane ride itself hadn't been all that bad. However, she'd been waiting in the London International Airport for far longer than she wanted to be. She'd been forced to wait in the airport for a good seven hours; which was about six and a half hours longer than she ever wanted to spend in an airport, ever. While she wished she could go out and about and see the majesty of London, or at the very least meet a cute guy with a cuter accent, going out in in a strange city at 11:30 at night didn't quite seem like her best plan. So, Max was stuck in an airport at night.

She also happened to still be wearing her ringleader getup as she hadn't had time to take a shower before she left Croatia. And surprisingly two whole packs of WetOnes were insufficient when trying to remove makeup from one's face and dye from one's hair. She had been about twenty seconds from putting her head under the faucets in the bathroom when she had managed to get a hold of one of those little hotel rooms they offered for the night. Well, sort of. She kind of bribed the desk boy to let her use the staff showers so she could wash out the red hair dye and make up. It had felt amazing to get all that caked on crap off finally and Max was also very done with all the strange looks people had given her in the airport and on the plane. Even the desk boy had looked at her in a peculiar way. However, when she'd emerged from the shower room, fresh-faced and blonde hair, he'd all but drooled at the sight of her.

"Thanks," she'd drawled, passing over the agreed upon amount and going on her way. The desk guy had only been able to nod as he stared after her, jaw on the ground, and Max had to resist rolling her eyes and smacking the kid upside the head. It took a lot of will power that frankly she didn't know she had.

She made her way to the gate where her plane would be boarding in, say, five hours. She grabbed a chair next to one of the charging stations and hooked up her laptop. For the next several hours, she browsed the internet, mostly looking up stuff about her sister's life in Hollywood. Apparently, Maya had been busy. She'd filmed three movies, a television show, and an ungodly amount of commercials before that in the past four years. Max was shot with a pang of guilt for not having known any of this, but that guilt was quickly replaced with amusement. According to the tabloids, Max was either dead or was hated and despised by her sister. Both options amused her greatly. The last time she checked, she wasn't dead and though she and Maya had a somewhat dysfunctional relationship, they got along just fine. After she felt sufficiently caught up on all of the going-on's of her sister's very busy and very not private life, Max spent the next couple hours browsing Wikipedia.

When her laptop was finished charging and she now knew everything there was to know about the Soviet Union, Max slipped the laptop back in her backpack. She unfolded herself from the cramped seat that she'd been curled up in for that past several hours and stretched for a satisfying pop from her back. She checked the time and saw that it was about three in the morning and her plane was set to leave in about an hour, so boarding would probably start in like thirty minutes. Taking the last opportunity she would have for a long time to stretch her legs; Max went and got something to eat.

When she finally strolled back into the terminal, about half the plane had boarded already. Max sighed and got in line, sliding her ticket between her fingers, lost in thought. For some reason, she couldn't remember exactly why she'd agreed to go back. She hadn't been home in Los Angeles for four years. She hadn't spoken to either or her younger siblings for almost the entire time she'd been gone, communication with her mother had been spotty at best, and she'd only really started talking to Maya more than once a year in the past year. She hadn't kept in touch with any of her high school friends, but she hadn't really kept in touch with any of the people she'd met in her travels, either. Maybe she should just not go back. It's not like they could force her to. They wouldn't know that she had ditched her flight until it was too late and she could disappear in London. She had enough experience and they'd never be able to find her. She could find a temporary job, meet a cute guy, dump said cute guy, and maybe go spend some time in France, find some awesome job in France, maybe – "Ticket?"

Max's internal monologue was cut off by a far-too peppy flight attendant. "Ticket?" she asked again, her hand held out expectantly. Max looked at the piece of paper in her hand. The flight attendant waited not too patiently with a horrible forced smile on her face. The people behind her started getting antsy and a few started grumbling. "Miss, are you going on this flight?" the flight attendant asked again in a pushy fashion.

"Uh," Max drew the word out, trying to buy as much time as possible. She had spent so much time running away trying to find herself that somewhere along the way she'd forgotten what she was looking for. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry." Max handed her ticket over and took it back as soon as it was scanned.

She thanked the attendant, made her way onto the plane, and quickly found seat 34B. She smiled at the guy sitting next to the window which he returned with a rather disgusting glint in his eyes. Max plopped down in her seat with a groan and she felt the undeniable despair that this was going to be a LONG plane ride. When she saw the larger, rather sweaty man squeezing his way down the aisle, she knew, she KNEW, that he was sitting right next to her. When the man stopped and started to attempt to sit down she just nodded. Yup. A long flight indeed.

Sometime later, though not nearly long enough, Max was about ready to snap and brutally murder everyone within arm's reach of her. Being locked in a flying metal death trap did sort of do that to a person. Also being next to obnoxious people on a plane tended to make Max's already four mood even fouler.

The gluttonous pig on her right had made a grab for her various body parts three times now. The last time he'd made a move towards her, she'd buried her elbow in his stomach and slammed her foot into his shin. He'd made a rather strange, high-pitched sort of strangled noise and was now staying as far away from Max as he could physically get, his face smashed up against the window.

The man on her left, while stinky, sweaty, and far too close to Max for comfort, wasn't actually that bad. Although he could do with a nice deodorant stick or maybe soap, but Max wasn't going to be picky. At least he hadn't touched her or asked her for anything.

About two hours into the flight, Max's crippling claustrophobia kicked in. She felt as if the world was getting remarkably closer to her and there was a significant lack of oxygen, so she'd downed a couple of pills and was soon out like a light.

With about an hour and half left of the flight, Max had been rudely awakened from her medicine induced sleep. The perpetrator was an obnoxious little twerp kicking the back of her seat. It had now been going on for the past twenty minutes and it was taking all of Max's willpower not to reach behind her and start throttling the brat. Max was now completely reminded of why she hated little kids. This plane could not land soon enough.

Eventually, after going through the nerve-wracking experience that was landing, the exiting of the plane, and finally getting her suitcase, Max laughed victoriously as she stepped out into the muggy Los Angeles air. All around her were people shouting at each other, pushing past her, and trying to catch a taxi, waving their hands all around their heads. '_Tourists_', Max thought with a snort.

She walked past a large stone pylon and was halfway to raising her hand to hail a taxi when suddenly, hands wrapped around her head. The hands clamped across her mouth and pulled her back behind the pylon with a muffled, "Oomph!" Max whirled around, her fists up and ready to knock the living shit out of whoever had dared laid their hands on her.

"Wait Max! Max, it's me," the voice sounded desperate and rather familiar. It took Max a moment to register what the voice was saying, and by then it was too late. She had already started and finished her punch with a quick snap of her hips, driving her fist into her poor assailant's stomach.

"Maya?" Max hissed in confusion. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Picking you up you idiot," Maya wheezed. Max's punch had quite the force behind it and it took her breath away. She coughed a couple times and said, "Oh, that's going to bruise."

"Sorry," Max said apologetically and helped her sister straighten up, Maya still clutching her stomach. "Why are you dressed like that?" Max asked her sister curiously.

"There's no way I'm letting the paparazzi see me out and about. They'll swarm at me with questions. It's terrifying, let me tell you. I had to be secretive and sneaky," Maya explained, all while glancing covertly around. Max looked at her sister in disbelief. She had multiple scarves wrapped around her face and sunglasses covering her eyes.

"And you thought the best way to do that was to dress up like a mummy?" Max asked bluntly.

"Shush," Maya said creeping forward. She glanced around, and seeing no one, motioned Max forward. She started making hand signals that Max supposed were supposed to mean… something. Max rolled her eyes and walked forward. Maya scowled and said, "You're not even trying."

"Maya, I look exactly like you. If anyone sees me, they'll think I'm you," Max pointed out dramatically.

"Oh, right," Maya furrowed her brow. "Let's go and get you a disguise too." Max rolled her eyes as Maya took her by the hand and dragged her into the nearest clothes store, one of the tacky airport clothes stores that sold overpriced tourist gear. Two scarves, a pair of sunglasses, two horribly cheesy sweatshirts, and two Twix's later, Maya and Max walked out of the airport in matching face wrappings, sunglasses, and sweatshirts. They got more than a few odd looks, but neither particularly cared.

"You know this is exactly like when mom used to have us wear matching outfits when we were little kids," Max grumbled.

"Oh shut up," Maya said with a grin. Max snorted but grinned right along with her sister. When they were 'away from prying eyes', Maya allowed Max to take off the sweatshirt and unwrap the scarves and let her blonde-brown hair flow freely in the wind. She kept the sunglasses on though.

"So when do we have to go to this movie set of yours?" Max asked, shouting slightly to be heard above the wind blowing around the open-topped convertible that was careening down the highway.

"Tomorrow is going to be a filming day so we're going to have to be down at the set at seven in the morning," Maya said cautiously.

"Seven in the morning? Are you shitting me?" Max shouted. "What time am I going to have to get up?"

"Probably like five thirty," Maya said sheepishly, waiting with baited breath for her sister's outburst. She was not disappointed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GET UP AT FIVE IN THE FREAKING MORNING?" For the next fifteen minutes, Maya listened to her sister shout multiple obscene things at very impressive volumes. When Max finally finished, panting, Maya chuckled,

"That was impressive. Did you even breathe throughout all that?" Max scowled at her sister and said something that sounded rather rude. "What was that?"

"None of your business," Max snapped grouchily.

"Well what language was it in?"

"Spanish," Max finally answered.

"That didn't sound like any Spanish I've ever heard," Maya said skeptically.

"It's the Venezuelan dialect," Max informed her.

"When the hell did you go to Venezuela?" Maya asked in shock. As far as Maya knew, Max had spent most of her wandering time in Africa and Europe, not South America.

"I dated a Venezuelan tuba player for a week a couple years ago," Max said shortly. Maya shot her sister a look before shaking her head.

"I thought you swore off dating guys after that one kid you dated in the seventh grade 'broke your heart'," Maya said mockingly, making air quotes.

"Oh shut up," Max said with an accompanying eye roll. "What about the guy you dated your senior year of high school?"

"And what would you know about that?" Maya asked softly, knowing she was broaching a sensitive subject.

"Don't," Max said sharply. Maya shot her sister a look before clamping her mouth shut for the rest of the rather awkward car ride. Thankfully, the ride was over soon as they pulled up in front of a rather expensive looking apartment building. It had a fence and a guard booth and everything.

"Well, here we are," Maya said.

Max was quiet for a few moments before she finally said, "You're joking right? You live HERE?"

"Yeah, why?" Maya asked in confusion. She pulled into the special parking garage for residents only.

"It looks like the fanciest you could buy," Max sputtered.

"It's not. Trust me," Maya said smugly. Max rolled her eyes and got out of the car after Maya had parked. She followed Maya up the elevator to Floor 9.

"So you have the whole floor to yourself?" Max asked in awe.

"Sort of," Maya explained as she unlocked the front door and pushed it open with her hip. "I'm letting a few guys from set crash in my spare rooms until the movie is over. They're going to be out late so you'll meet them tomorrow."

"Damn," Max drawled. "This is nice!" And indeed it was. The apartment was tastefully decorated yet everything looked quite lived in and comfortable. It wasn't at all what one would expect from a successful movie actress, but then again Maya wasn't quite a normal movie actress. Max liked to think that her sister was slightly more grounded than the rest of the Hollywood personnel.

"You can have the room next to mine, I'll kick Nick out of it when he gets back tomorrow morning," Maya said as she hung her keys up on a hook and tossed her purse on the kitchen counter before going and rooting through the fridge. "Down the hall, third door on the left."

"Thanks," Max smiled gratefully at her sister and made her way down the hall, dragging her suitcase behind her. When she got to the bedroom, she hefted her suitcase on the slightly rumpled bed and pulled off her boots and tossed them in the closet that was already full of mostly black clothes. She didn't bother unpacking; it was far too much effort.

When she walked back into the living room, she saw Maya on the phone. "Yup. I'll be there tonight. Six thirty. Yup. Everyone will be there, right? Good. Uh huh. I know. Uh huh. Okay, bye," Maya hung up the phone and spun around to see her sister at the kitchen table staring at her with a quirked eyebrow.

"Got a hot date?" Max waggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

"Not really," Maya said evasively. "But I am going out tonight. And you're coming with me."

"Where are we going?" Max asked curiously. Maya muttered something that Max couldn't quite make out. "Could you repeat that?" Max asked. Maya mumbled again. "What?" More mumbling. "Maya!" Max shouted.

"We're going to dinner with mom!" Maya blurted and ducked under the kitchen island.

"We're what?" Max sputtered in shock.

"Surprise?" Maya offered weakly. Max's only response was to groan, sink down in her chair, and hit her head on the table softly.

* * *

**Well, that's about it. But I do have a couple questions to all of you. **

**#1. This doesn't really seem to me like an 'adventure' fanfiction, but I'm not sure what to classify it as. I was thinking family/humor. Do you think that this is funny enough to be humor? I personally dislike it when people tell me their story is going to be funny and it isn't at all. Thoughts?**

**#2. What do you guys think is a good updating time? The chapters aren't particularly long, I like to keep them at around 3,000 words (any less and I feel like I'm cheating people out), but I could make them shorter and update faster. Which would you prefer?**

**Answer in the review section or PM me.**

**And as always, if you see any mistakes or have any questions, let me know.**

**And now I leave you all with a fun fact. They sell toupees for dogs in Tokyo.**

**See you later!**


	3. So Mom

**Disclaimer: You all know the drill, I own nothing…**

* * *

Max looked at the two-story house of doom. It looked completely normal on the outside. A normal, boring beige coat of paint was on the outside with dark red, normal shutters and roof tiles. The garden was a perfectly manicured with perfect little normal flowers growing up in perfect little intervals oh so freaking perfectly. Nope, Max wasn't bitter, not at all.

She'd spent so much of her teenage years trying to escape the normal and monotonous routine provided by the suburbs. It was always the same and Max could already feel the everyday routine setting in. She hadn't even been back in the States for twelve hours and she was already bored out of her mind. Max was brought violently out of her thoughts by a vicious rapping on the side of the metal car.

"Are you just going to sit in the car and stare at mom's house all night?" Maya asked angrily.

"Maybe," Max responded sullenly, leveling her sister with a glare of epic proportions. She sat sitting in the car, staring at her childhood home like nothing had changed in the four years she'd been gone. It was like she had returned home from high school, not from a round-the-world trip. Like everything she'd experienced was a dream. For a moment, she wasn't a worldly and experienced traveler, she was the same gangly, awkward and more than slightly pudgy 17 year old high school student living in her perfect sister's shadow. Maya banged on the side of the car again, snapping Max out of her trip down Memory Lane and bringing her back to the present.

"Come on," Maya said. "You can't run from your past forever and I did not just drive three hours to have you stare at mom's house from her driveway." Max furrowed her brow, not bothering to respond to her sister, and instead tried to formulate an escape plan. "Let's go," Maya said again. She knew exactly what her sister was thinking. "I asked Mom to make sure that Ella and Ari won't be back for like an hour. I thought you'd like the time to get chewed out and screamed at by mom in peace."

"Thanks ever so much," Max muttered sarcastically.

"Max," Maya sighed warningly.

"Fine," Max grumbled as she eased herself out of the car. As she got up, she started tugging on her clothes. While normally she didn't give two flying monkey asses about what others thought she looked like, standing out front of her mother's impeccable house reminded her of every imperfection. She pulled on her blue button up top that went about mid-elbow length and attempted to rub out the slight stain on her black skinny jeans. She quickly glanced at herself in the mirror and made sure that she didn't have food smudged on her face or caught between her teeth.

"You look fine Max," Maya snapped impatiently. "Now go!" Max groaned and grumbled and started shuffling her way up to the door that led to a rather miserable time that she had thought she'd left behind her. She dragged her feet up the three steps that led to the porch and stood there sullenly, debating whether or not she should ring the doorbell or make a break for it. Just as Max was getting ready to turn and bolt, Maya shouted out, "Just go already!" Max looked around for her sister, surprised to find that Maya wasn't standing right behind her. Max spun around and saw Maya sitting in her cherry red convertible waving goodbye.

"Wait, aren't you coming with me?" Max shouted to her sister as she revved the engine.

"Are you kidding? Mom's going to freak out and kill you! I refuse to be a casualty!" Maya shouted out as she peeled out of the driveway.

"I hate you!" Max shouted out after her sister. With a groan, Max turned and saw the woman she was terrified more of anyone staring at her disapprovingly from the doorway. "Oh… hi mom," Max said weakly. She closed her eyes and winced, anticipating the scolding to end all scoldings. When nothing happened, Max cracked an eye open. Valencia Martinez stood there with her hands on her hips and a slight smile quirking her lips.

"You sure took your time coming home, didn't you Max?" she chuckled softly.

Max swallowed dryly and grimaced slightly. "Yeah well, I needed time."

"Well, come on in and tell me what you've been up to since you decided to stop calling me when you almost got arrested in Egypt," Valencia shook her head at her daughter. Max's jaw dropped and she could only sputter for a few moments.

"How the hell did you know about that?" Max finally managed to get out as she followed her mother into the house.

"Language Maxine," Valencia scolded. "And I saw an article online that had a picture of a rather familiar daughter of mine. Although I have to admit, I was a little surprised when it identified you as 'Maximum Ride'."

"Uh, yeah," Max said uncertainly, unsure of how she was supposed to talk about this with her mother. "I wasn't really looking for anyone to connect me with who I was, so I've been using a fake name," Max admitted sheepishly. Valencia took a moment to appraise her daughter and compare her with the 17 year old that had left four years ago. Max was different, that was sure. First off, she'd lost her fair share of weight but looked healthy to Dr. Martinez's pleasure. Her previously dark brown hair was now a light brown streaked with blonde, most likely from all the time that Max had spent outside. Her choice in clothing had also changed as Max was no longer wearing guy's basketball shorts and over-sized t-shirts.

"You look good Max," Dr. Martinez said sincerely.

"Thanks," Max said softly, slightly taken off-guard. She knew that she looked nothing like the kid who had flown the coop after graduating high school, but she also knew that she was the same kid deep down. Just in a slimmer, tanner body. For the next hour, Max and her mother swapped stories, Max slowly opening up more and more with her mother.

"Have you called your father?" Dr. Martinez finally asked.

"Nope," Max shook her head firmly.

"You know he'll want to know that you're okay," Dr. Martinez tried to convince her daughter half-heartedly.

"No way," Max drew the words out, her arms folded resolutely across her chest. While she and her mother had had a slightly rocky relationship, it was downright buddy-buddy, share your deepest, darkest secrets with each other compare to Max's relationship with her father.

"Well, I tried," Dr. Martinez sighed. "Now come on and help me finish up with dinner. You're siblings will be coming home in a couple minutes."

"Uh, Mom, don't you remember me in the kitchen?" Max asked in disbelief.

"Not really," Dr. Martinez admitted shame-facedly.

"Yeah, I set a cabin on fire in the Alps one time. You really don't want me in a kitchen," Max said, matter of fact.

"Oh," Dr. Martinez was shocked for a moment. Being a bad cook was one thing, but setting a cabin on fire? That was impressive.

"Then I guess you should probably just set the table."

"That sounds a lot safer," Max agreed. She moved into the dining room and started laying down plates, napkins, and silverware. When everything was down, Max walked into the kitchen and watched her mother make dinner in fascination. How she did that, Max would never know. Suddenly, the front door was thrown open with a bang and two loud sets of footsteps thundered through the house.

"MAX!" Ella Martinez hurled herself threw the kitchen doorway and all but jumped on her older sister. "OH MY GOSH, MAX YOU'RE BACK!" Ella screamed in her sister's ear.

"Yes and I am now deaf," Max muttered.

"Where have you been?" Ella asked, her voice at a much more pleasing decibel.

"I'll tell you later," Max chuckled. She moved her sister until she was an arm's length away. Ella had let her gorgeous black hair grow out and it was now about mid-back length. She'd also taken to wearing small amounts of makeup. She'd grown too, now coming to about Max's chin.

"Ella, move!" a masculine voice from behind Max exclaimed. Max looked behind her and was surprised to see a HUGE buff blonde haired guy standing behind Ella.

"Ari, is that you?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yup!" Ari grinned wolfishly before grabbing his older sister in a bone crushing hug. Ari had definitely grown up from the scrawny little brat that Max had remembered. Ari smirked, accurately guessing what his sister was thinking. "Four years is a LONG time Maxie. I'm not the same 13 year old shrimp that I was when you left."

"Yeah, yeah," Max waved her hand condescendingly at her little brother. "Smart ass," she muttered.

"I learned from the best, Max," Ari smirked and hugged Max again. Max laughed out loud and hugged Ari back.

"So I see you're not dead," Maya said as she too walked in. "That's always good news. Now what's for dinner?"

"Food!" all four of the siblings shouted out and moved at once to take all the prepared dishes into the dining room. Dr. Martinez shook her head at her kids. They had all monstrous appetites and she hadn't had to make this much food ever since Ella had moved out. As they ate, Max got caught up on all the things her youngest siblings were doing. Ella was currently studying Architecture at the local college and was living on campus. She was having a hell of a time, but no boyfriend currently, despite the constant teasing by her older sisters. Ari was in his junior year of high school and was hoping to get a football scholarship.

While all her kids got caught up with each other, Dr. Martinez just leaned back and watched them. It was great to have her house full of kids again. She hadn't thought that she'd miss having her house full of loud, energetic, and somewhat messy children, but she found she really did. While she wouldn't say that her house was quiet and clean, having a teenage boy who ate nonstop and played football made that almost impossible, it was still far cleaner and quieter than when she'd had four kids under her roof.

When she'd moved her family away from Arizona after her divorce from her husband, Jeb, to a smallish (or as small a town as you could get) town in California, her children had all managed to get crazy busy lives. Maya had always had some sort of acting portfolio spread out on the counter and half a dozen offers for acting jobs and commercials along with it at any given time. Ella had had endless drawing along with her computer full of building ideas spread out along the living room, her room, and the loft. Ari had had weights, football, hockey, basketball, and rollerblades scattered all around the garage, mud room, and basement. Max, who had been interested in skateboarding and gymnastics, along with an ungodly amount of textbooks, had left all of her stuff in her room and on the kitchen table. There was almost no room for any of Valencia's things and it had been damn near impossible to keep the house clean.

However, as her kids left the house one by one, taking their stuff with them, she found herself missing the clutter. The first to go had been Max. She'd studied and worked hard and had graduated from high school a year early. Not even two weeks after Max had graduated, which had shocked everyone, she'd packed up her bags and split town. She hadn't told anyone, not even her mother where she was going. She had emailed her mother once she was out of the country and kept in contact. Eventually, her emails had gotten shorter and vaguer and the time between them longer and longer until about a year ago, they just stopped coming. Dr. Martinez had been able to find out that Max had fled Egypt through the internet, but she had no idea where her daughter had gone.

Maya had been the next to move out. She graduated from high school as an 18 year old and almost immediately got offered a job in a big time movie. Dr. Martinez had been thrilled for her daughter, but with Maya gone in Los Angeles, she didn't get to see her often at all.

As soon as Ella had graduated from high school and was accepted into college, she'd left to go to the Southern California Institute of Art. Now all that Dr. Martinez had was her only son, and frankly Ari wasn't home half the time.

Dr. Martinez looked at her crazy family and smiled. Even if it was just for the night, she was glad to have all of them back. Max stuck her tongue out at Ella and blew a raspberry as Maya and Ari argued over whether or not cheerleading was a sport. Yup. Loud and crazy house indeed.

* * *

**AND BREAK!**

**Lucky you all, I was home sick today and I still feel like crap. But that means I'm writing and releasing this sooner, so you all should be happy. You know the drill, read and should you so desire, write a review.**

**In case you all haven't quite figured out, there are no wings in this story. Sorry! I feel like I can't really do a wing story justice like James Patterson did, so I'm not messing with that can of worms. However, the rest of the Flock and everyone else in the books will be included, I'm just introducing them slowly. We've already met three new people today, we're on a roll! I kind of really like where this story's going, so hopefully I'll keep getting inspiration. You know what would help? Suggestions! Leave me some. Now. Go. Why are you still reading this? GO! Suggest things!**

**And in response to those of you who have reviewed (hint hint) I really appreciate you guys taking the time to respond, it made my day! Thanks!**


	4. Something I'm Forgetting

**Disclaimer: Please refer to Chapters 1, 2, and 3**

* * *

Maya Martinez smiled to herself and sang along softly to the radio. She and Max had horribly conflicting music tastes, so Maya was taking any time she had with her music she could. Slumped in the passenger seat, her head against the window and a tiny trail of drool leaking out of the corner of her mouth was Max herself. Maya hadn't talked a whole heck of a lot that night at her mom's, instead just listening as her sisters and brother got caught up. Max had told some crazy out-of-the-world stories that had made everyone laugh until their bellies hurt.

Maya had never thought that she'd miss her sister as much as she did, but she did. She'd missed Max's quick and snarky remarks. She'd missed Max's skeptic personality. She'd missed Max's contagious laugh and her infectious smile. When Max had taken off four years ago in Maya's junior year in high school, Maya admittedly had been happy at first. She had thought of her sister as a black cloud that just loved to rain on Maya's parade. Sure, she had been agitated that Max had graduated a year ahead of her and had never told her anything about her plans to do so, but she'd always known that Max was smart. She just hadn't known how smart.

However, as time went on Maya felt her sister's absence. Max had listened to Maya's rants about commercials, callbacks, and boyfriends. She'd had headphones in, but she'd still nod every once in a while. Ella and Ari were also more distant. They had blamed Maya for Max's disappearance and her already rocky relationship with her youngest siblings had grown worse. Looking back on it, her siblings were right. Maya had taken her sister's presence for granted and she regretted that now.

Maya was taken out of her self-loathing thoughts when Max gave a small snort in her sleep. Maya rolled her eyes at her sister and went back to watching the nighttime California highway speed by. She tapped a beat out on the steering wheel in time to the songs playing and the next thirty minutes flew by. When she pulled into the parking garage for her apartment, Max finally snorted awake.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Sleeping Beauty," Maya chuckled. Max gave a half-hearted glare, but sleep was still pulling heavily on her eyelids. "Let's go. You can explore around town tomorrow after we get back from the set," Maya said as she heaved her sister's arm over her shoulders and started to drag Max towards the elevator. Max shrugged off her sister and made her way into the elevator without any help. She leaned against the elevator wall listening to the soft and cheesy elevator music. Neither sister said anything as the elevator climbed to Level 9. Max went in first, stumbling and staggering her way through the apartment to the room that Maya had given her.

"Did you spike the lemonade or something?" Maya called out jokingly after her sister.

"Shut up," Max grumbled as she slammed her shin on the coffee table. Max let out a string of rather colorful, if slurred, string of curse words in multiple languages.

"Language!" Maya shouted after her sister, sounding frighteningly like their mother.

"English, Icelandic, and a little bit of Spanish," Max shouted back. Maya rolled her eyes at her sister and went to put away her car keys. As she tossed the key ring in the bowl and kicked off her tennis shoes, she saw a pair of beat up black Vans lined up neatly next to the door. '_Nick must be home_,' Maya thought to herself. Lying next to the black Vans was a pair of downright massive pair of Adidas tennis shoes. '_And so's James_,' Maya thought with a chuckle. She heard the sound of running water and guessed that one of them was in the shower. Somewhere in the back of her somewhat groggy mind, there was a nagging feeling that she was forgetting to do something rather important. Nah, it couldn't be that important could it?

* * *

Max dug around in her suitcase and finally managed to unearth a pair of short sleeping shorts and a white t-shirt. She yanked the clothes on her body at an ungodly speed and when she was done, she flopped unceremoniously on the bed. The bed was pushed up against the wall with two pillows squished in the corner. Max paid no attention to the fact that the sheets and blankets were all messed up even though when she'd originally been in the apartment, the bed had been made so tightly that she could have bounced a quarter of the covers. Max scrambled under the blankets until she was adequately curled up in them and practically pulled the blankets overtop her head and the pillow she was resting on. Within minutes, Max was out like a light and dead to the world.

* * *

Nick 'Fang' Walker left the bathroom clad in his black pajama pants and nothing else. He walked into the kitchen running a towel through his shaggy dark hair and sat down at the kitchen table across from his roommate Maya.

"Hey," she smiled at him tiredly. He nodded back in greeting but said nothing. "Would it kill you to be a little more social?" she griped at him good-naturedly with a smirk. Fang shot her a look but the corners of his mouth quirked ever so slightly and he exhaled with a slight huff, the Fang equivalent of a smile and a laugh. "Iggy already in bed?" Maya asked through a yawn, referring to their other roommate, James 'Iggy' Griffiths. Fang shook his head and was forced to stifle a yawn himself.

He'd had a long day dealing with an overdramatic director. That man was the sole reason that Fang was staying with Maya in her roomy apartment. All actors were given a trailer on set and Fang, along with many others, had just moved right in. He'd been unwilling to look a gift horse in the mouth and just appreciated his own space away from his parents. That gratitude was shattered the second day of filming however. Fang had been rudely woken from his slumber at three in the morning when the Director, wearing nothing other than a pair of underwear that left not nearly enough to the imagination, had run around the set.

He'd been shouting at the top of his lungs, "Where is my actor? Someone get me my actor I've got pure GOLD!"

One of the Director's many PA's had tentatively said, "Sir, he's in his trailer."

"And where is his trailer?" the Director had shouted at a volume that made Fang want to pound his head against a wall.

"The same place it was last evening sir."

"AH! Grab him and bring a tutu! We've got scenes to film!"

"At three in the morning sir?"

"Don't you sass me you ungrateful pig swill!"

"Excuse me?"

"I said-" after that all Fang had heard was snoring. Apparently the Director had a nasty habit of sleep walking and sleep talking. Apparently these nightly activities also extended to sleep filming bizarre scenes with his lead actor in a tutu. Fang still shuddered to think what exactly the Director was planning on having him DO in that outfit.

Suffice to say, the very next day Fang had started asking around for an apartment. However his self-proclaimed agent (more commonly known as Anne Walker, his mother) had found out and shot down the idea. According to her, movie stars do not 'live in apartments like a common street rat'. Any time that Fang tried to contact a real estate agent his mother found out. She had a scary sixth sense. Fang, however, refused to take this all lying down, and instead started asking around the set for anyone who had a spare room. All the other actors, actresses, and helpers had smirked knowingly and shaken their heads. They all got some sort of perverse kick out of seeing the normally stoic and unshakeable Nick Walker terrified of someone as seemingly innocent as their Director. A bit outlandish at first glance, but innocent at the same time.

Fang had been on the verge of walking out onto the streets of L.A. and bribing the nearest drug dealer to give him a closet to stay in, when Maya Martinez had heard of his predicament. Fang had to admit, he'd been incredibly surprised when his co-leading actress had offered him a place to stay. He'd been under the impression that Maya hated his guts, if the glares and scowls she shot his way was any indication. However, he'd jumped at the opportunity of a room and was moved in the next day, to his mother's immense displeasure that she was very vocal about.

When he arrived, he'd found out that the apartment was actually split between Maya and a friend of hers, James Griffiths. Nick, as he'd been called when he'd moved in, and James had hit it off and were soon quite good friends. James had been the one to call Nick 'Fang' first, on account of a wrestling incident. The two of them had been arguing over the remote and Fang had dug his nails into James's skin.

James had dropped the remote like it was fire and shrieked not unlike a small girl, "Have you ever even HEARD of nail clippers? Do you have fangs to match those claws, Fangypoo?" To Nick's surprise, Fang had stuck. Regrettably, Fangypoo had as well.

James came to be known as Iggy when Fang had found out that Maya and James knew each other through the movie. James was the lead pyrotechnics master. Even though he was blind, he could tell you if you prepared the pyrotechnics right just by sniffing them. It was a bit peculiar, but the guy was good at his job. He and his assistant made an ungodly amount of explosions for the action thriller they were currently filming. Fang had seen James with one of his 'creations', as James called them, and the most evil, maniacal, downright terrifying look had come across his face as he lit the ignition. From then on, at least in the apartment, James became Iggy.

Speaking of Iggy, that psycho had to be done brushing his teeth by now, right? There was a distinct sound of someone gargling to the tune of The Star Spangled Banner, followed by spitting, and then a tall, pale, strawberry blond man walked out of the bathroom.

"What's up Maya? Fangles?" he asked as he sat down on the couch with expert precision. Fang rolled his eyes and stood up.

"I'm going to bed. Good night," he said shortly.

"Oh but Fangypoo, don't you want to talk about your day, and the future, and FEELINGS?" Iggy asked in a falsetto voice. Fang cringed and turned on his heel, trying to get as far away from his psychotic roommate as possible.

"Wait Fang," Maya called out to him. He turned around and looked back at his roommate with a quirked eyebrow. "I had something to tell you," Maya muttered, her face scrunched up quizzically. "I just can't remember what it was."

Fang smirked and said, "Tell me in the morning." To emphasize, he yawned widely and Maya nodded, unsure. She was positive that whatever she needed to say was important; she just for the life of her couldn't remember what it was.

Fang walked into his room, the lights already out. Odd. He could have sworn that he had left them on. Maya had probably turned them off on one of her 'save electricity and the environment' kicks. Shrugging, Fang made his way easily over to the bed and flopped on the edge. He always slept on this side. He didn't really know why, he was just more comfortable here. He slung an arm around the closest pillow and pulled the blankets over himself, but only one. For some reason he could never sleep with more than one blanket on him at a time, no matter how cold it was. Odd. His bed felt like it was dipping towards the wall. And it was also warmer. And there was a soft noise that sounded an awful lot like snoring. And there was a weird, yet oddly pleasant, scent. Ah well. He was just imagining things.

* * *

**Yup. That's it. Not really sure if I like how this one turned out, but ah well. I'm not rewriting it again. Yup. Again. You all have just finished reading attempt #3 of this chapter.**

**Oh, and the Director may by the most entertaining person EVER to write for. I hope you guys like him as much as I do.**

**While normally I'm against cliffhangers, I could NOT resist this one. It's just so much fun. ****If ever there was a time for maniacal laughter, now would be it. ****Can any of you guess what's going to happen? Props go out to FaximumEverdeen for guessing who one of Maya's roommates was going to be. I've been trying to leave small little hints here and there for you to pick up. Besides the Fang one, I can count two others but one of them is pretty vague, so I guess it's more like one and a half. Hee hee.**

**Also, I don't know if any of you noticed (or care) but I did change what genre this goes under. Nobody explicitly stated that this fic wasn't funny enough for humor, so I went for it.**

**Stay tuned for more chapters!**

**See ya's.**


	5. That Could've Gone Better

**Disclaimer: Really? I have to put it in even now? No, I think you all know I own nothing at this point.**

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! Max yawned groggily and groaned. She wanted so badly to go back to sleep, but she was sure she had something very important to do today. Whatever it was, she was pretty sure that she had to wake up at farmer's time. She just couldn't for the life of her remember what on earth it was. Max felt her wonderfully warm pillow shift a little. Odd.

She groped around the side of the bed, slapping randomly in an attempt to hit the snooze button, before she remembered that she had set the alarm on her phone. Which was currently in the back pocket of her jeans. Which were conveniently rolled up in a ball on the other side of the room.

With a tired moan, Max rolled over and landed on something rather… fleshy. She poked whatever it was and realized that while squishier than her bed, it was surprisingly hard. And olive colored. Weird. She could have sworn that her bed sheets were blue. Max lifted her head and tried to blink the sleep from her eyes. When she was finally able to see what she was staring at clearly, she froze. And then let out an ear-piercing shriek.

* * *

Maya glared slightly at the ceiling. "Riiiiiight," she sighed. "That's what I forgot."

* * *

Fang was yanked violently out of his rather pleasant dream of flying and soaring above a red desert by a high-pitched shriek. His eyes flew open and he made eye contact with a rather pretty girl that was lying practically on top of him. Oh. He must still be dreaming. Why else would a gorgeous girl, who looked remarkably like his roommate, with sleep mused light brown hair and half-lidded brown eyes be laying on top of him?

Fang was wondering what Dream-girl, as he had mentally dubbed her, was doing when she opened her mouth and shrieked again. Fang winced and wondered why she was screaming. Weren't dreams with pretty girls supposed to be nice? Fang's somewhat groggy and sleep addled mind was snapped into a more awake state after the second shriek and he was now fairly confident that he was awake and no longer dreaming.

He was about to ask why she was shrieking in his ear when the door to his room slammed open. Standing in the doorway was Maya. Fang was generally a pretty smart guy, but he definitely wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it was five in the morning. However, even he was able to see the remarkable similarities between the girl who was still lying on his bare stomach and the girl standing in the doorway.

"Why are there two of you?" Fang asked his roommate.

At the same time, Maya asked, "What's the matter?"

And the girl on his stomach asked, "Why the hell is there a naked guy in my bed?"

"Your bed?" Fang asked the girl who was now sitting up. He absently noticed that she was wearing short shorts and a rather thin white t-shirt. Hey, he's a guy. A sleepy guy, but still a guy.

Maya looked at Fang in surprise and sputtered, "Naked?"

And short-shorts-clone looked at Maya in disbelief, "Why wouldn't I be yelling?"

Maya looked at her clone and said, "Because it's five in the morning."

"I know it's five in the morning," the clone said painfully slow. "And I just woke up with a naked guy in the bed you gave me."

"Wait," Fang cut back in. "I'm not naked!" Both of the clones looked at Fang incredulously.

"Really," the one sitting on the bed asked. "Out of all the questions you could have possibly answered, you choose that one?" Fang looked at her quizzically.

Maya rolled her eyes at her clueless roommate and addressed her clone, "I'm sorry Max. I thought that Fang and Iggy weren't coming home until later today. I kind of forgot to let Fang know that you'd be getting his room, you know with this all being last minute." Fang was confused, and judging by the disoriented look in short-shorts-clone, Max he thought Maya had called her, he wasn't the only one.

"You gave me a room that belonged to a guy named FANG?" Max finally asked. Both Maya and Fang looked at her for a few moments.

"Really? That's what you decide to ask?" Maya asked her sister bluntly. Max simply shrugged in response. Maya opened her mouth to retort when she was pushed aside unceremoniously. In her place stood a tall, pale, strawberry blond guy.

"Why the hell are you all yelling?" he asked, scratching absently at his stomach. Max looked back and forth between Fang and the tall guy.

"Why do you have so many half-naked guys running around your apartment?" she asked Maya curiously.

"It's an infestation apparently," Maya muttered as she dragged herself back up with aid from the dresser.

"Ah," Max said looking around at the admittedly handsome half-naked guys standing and sitting sleepily in the room. Maya rubbed her elbow slightly from where she'd banged it on the dresser on her way down to the ground.

"Dammit Iggy," she snapped as she glared at him.

He stuck his tongue at her and asked, "So what's got everybody's panties in a twist this fine morning?"

Maya rolled her eyes and said, "Everyone get ready to go to set. I'll explain over food." Iggy and Max muttered in agreement and Fang nodded silently. Maya left, grumbling something about idiotic roommates and sisters, leaving Max, Iggy, and Fang alone. The three of them were quiet for a moment before Max jumped off the bed. She scooped up her bag of toiletries from her suitcase and bounded out the door.

"Dibs on bathroom!" she shouted out over her shoulder. The slammed bathroom door rattled the apartment and Fang and Iggy both shook their heads.

"She's a charmer," Iggy chuckled.

"She looks just like Maya," Fang informed his brother in arms in the battle against estrogen.

"I wouldn't know," Iggy pointed out drily.

"Well now you do," Fang said shortly.

"You okay?" Iggy asked, his pale sightless eyes narrowed in what Fang could only assume was concern. "You seem to have developed a case of chatter box." Fang rolled his eyes even though he knew Iggy couldn't see him. Judging by Iggy's goofy grin, however, the other man knew exactly what Fang's reaction was and was enjoying every second of it. "I get the bathroom next," Iggy said before walking back to his room.

Fang rolled his eyes and flopped back on the bed. He wrinkled his nose as he inhaled deeply. His bed smelled like lemons, soap, and something else he couldn't name. He spent the next twenty or so minutes trying to figure out just what it was.

* * *

Max stared at the bathroom door. She had reached an impasse. And said impasse was causing goose bumps to cover her body. The bathroom was steamy from her shower and Max had left her toothpaste, toothbrush, and hairbrush on the sink. What she hadn't left on the sink, however, was her clothes. In her haste to get to the bathroom, she had completely forgotten to grab a change of clothes. So she had been standing staring at the bathroom door clad only in a white fluffy towel for the past three minutes.

On one hand, she had to leave the bathroom at some point. On the other hand, she was hardly about to start walking around her sister's apartment wearing nothing but a towel with her sister's two cute roommates whom she had just met about twenty minutes ago out and about. Finally deciding that standing here shivering was not going to solve anything, Max opened the door a crack. She popped her head out into the hallway and looked both ways.

"Maya?" she called softly. "Maya?"

"Finally!" a loud, exuberant voice exclaimed. "What is it that makes girls take so god damn long in the bathroom? You would not BELIEVE how badly I have to pee." The blond that Max had sort of met earlier rushed into the bathroom. He yanked Max out and shut the door before she could protest. Well, at least that was one less roommate to worry about. Max steeled her nerves and crept down the hallway, clutching her towel tightly around her body.

Not seeing anyone else, Max backed into the room Maya had given her victoriously. She slipped into the room, shut the door quickly, and went to her suitcase. She pulled out a pair of panties and a bra, putting them on swiftly while letting her towel fall to the ground. She crouched down to rummage through her mess of a suitcase, looking for something to wear.

She had absolutely no idea what you were supposed to wear to a movie set. To be quite frank, she had absolutely no idea what she was even going to be doing on this movie set. Come to think of it, she didn't even really know what this movie was about. She made a mental note to ask Maya over breakfast.

However, Max's mental musings were cut short by an all too familiar voice asking, "Max?"

* * *

Fang had been minding his own business, lying on his bed, staring absently at the ceiling, when he heard a commotion out in the hall. From the sounds of it Max was finally out of the bathroom and Iggy was being dramatic as usual about his need to pee. Fang rolled his eyes.

He and Iggy were pretty close. They had to be if they were to survive the wrath of their female roommate. Maya, while nice, tended to be a bit… conniving. She wasn't malicious or anything, but she did have a nasty habit of pranking all those who displeased her. Fang could only hope that as the movie filming really started to pick up and the three of them got busier and busier, Maya would get too tired to prank them anymore. He really, really hoped.

Fang was brought out of his thoughts when the door to his room opened and closed. Fang glanced over to whoever had walked in and then went back to looking at the ceiling. When he'd realized just what he'd seen, he looked back with wide eyes to see Max wearing nothing but a pair of underwear and a bra, her towel lying in a heap on the pile.

Fang's eyes went wide and he couldn't help but ask, "Max?" Whoops. That wasn't supposed to be out loud. She whirled around, holding a shirt in front of her chest. It just didn't cover a whole heck of a lot else and Fang's mouth went dry and his face started heating up. Fang, being a warm blooded male could safely say that Max was a very pretty girl. In those few seconds, it felt like his mind was mentally remembering every curve of her body. Absently, he noted a black and blue blob on the back of her right shoulder from when her back had been to him. Max's mouth opened and shut several times, incapable of forming actually words.

Fang turned his head to the wall and muttered to himself, "Why am I looking away?" He heard Max scramble for clothes behind him and he asked, "You good?"

"No I am not 'good'!" Max spat. She then continued, more to herself this time, "How come everywhere I go I get hit on by perverts?"

"Everywhere?" Fang found himself asking, intrigued despite himself.

"Shut up," Max muttered. Fang turned around to look at her as she was pulling on her shirt. Her eyes flew wide in rage and Fang quickly turned around. Max finished getting dressed and stormed out of the room in a fury.

"Well that could have gone better," Fang muttered to himself as he finally got out of bed and grabbed some clothes. He pulled them on in a daze and went for his turn in the bathroom. He was still in shock after having a rather pretty girl sleeping on him without his knowledge and then seeing said pretty girl in nothing more than underclothes.

When Fang walked out, Iggy was wearing a pair of jeans, an apron, and not a whole heck of a lot else while working his magic at the stove. Sitting at the table were the two females of the house, eh, apartment. Seeing them fully clothed and semi-awake, Fang was once again struck by how alike the two looked. In fact, it Fang didn't know better, he would have thought the girls were identical twins. Maya looked at Fang and smiled as he took a seat with a nod in return. He couldn't bring himself to look Max in the eyes so he nodded in her general direction. Maya noticed the awkwardness between the two, but just assumed that it was from having unknowingly slept in the same bed.

"So," Maya drew the word out. "Max, these are my roommates, Nick Walker and James Griffiths. They go by Fang and Iggy. Fang's an actor like me and Iggy's the lead pyrotechnic in Los Angeles. They're both working with me on the movie."

Max nodded to the two of them and said, "Hey, what's this movie about anyway?"

"Tell you later," Maya waved her hand submissively at her sister and Max scowled at her in response. "Fang, Iggy, this is my twin sister, Max." Both Fang and Iggy were in awe. They knew vaguely that Maya had a sister but they had absolutely no idea that she had a twin. When Fang looked at them again, he could see it through.

"Are you two identical?" Iggy asked curiously as he set down plates of food.

"Are you kidding me?" Max snorted through a mouthful of egg.

"Well excuse me for being blind," Iggy teased, sticking his tongue out in Max's general direction.

"You're blind?" Max asked in surprise. "I never would have guessed. Sorry about that then."

"Nah, it's cool," Iggy waved his fork in the air. "I'm used to it. So how come we didn't know that Maya had a twin sister?"

"Before today I hadn't seen Max in four years," Maya shrugged. "I didn't like talking about her because I felt guilty," Maya admitted. Max looked at her sister in shock, a piece of bacon dangling forgotten between her fingers. Fang looked back and forth between the twins. They seemed to be close, much closer than some of the other celebrity siblings that Fang knew. What could possibly have driven these two apart for four years? Fang was about to ask, when an alarm from Maya's phone went off.

"Crap, we're going to be late if we don't leave now!" The rest of breakfast was hastily shoved in mouths and dishes thrown haphazardly on the counter. All four dove into the elevator and waited impatiently for it to go down.

Max and Maya were out the doors first, Max shouting, "I'll drive!"

As she ran to the car, Fang distantly heard Maya say, "Do you know where you're going?" Fang quirked the corner of his mouth in his signature smirk as he slid into the driver's seat, Iggy automatically going to the passenger side.

"She's something isn't she?" Iggy broke the silence as they raced downtown.

"Who?" Fang asked, knowing perfectly well who Iggy was talking about.

Iggy shot Fang a look, an impressive feat for a blind man, and said, "You know who."

"Hmm," Fang murmured in assent, purposefully keeping it vague. There was nothing else said the rest of the drive, Iggy finally turning on the radio in place of conversation.

* * *

**HAHAHA! Done! This one was FUN! I know some of you may be thinking "But Another Sarcastic Teenager, Fang doesn't talk this much!" Well my dear readers, Max brings out the chatty in him. Plus, he was woken up at five in the morning by her lying on his stomach. That generally prompts people, even unchatty people like Fang, to ask a least a couple questions. Well, let me know you're thoughts. When you guys write me reviews, it quite literally makes my day. Like my face stretches in a grin that shouldn't fit on it. Got a couple of weird looks, but hey. It was worth it.**

**Stay tuned for more!**


	6. Enter Stage Blonde

**Disclaimer: Yeah. No. I own nothing. Absolutely Nothing. It's just a little sad.**

* * *

Max yawned widely in the passenger seat, her eyes dangerously close to drooping closed. "Remind me again why I thought coming back to L.A. was a good idea," Max muttered through a yawn.

You love me," Maya answered as she smiled smugly at her sister. She was humming a song to herself, smiling brightly, and swaying back and forth in the driver's seat.

"How the hell are you this much of a freaking morning person?" Max groaned in confusion. Where had her lovely, and equally grumpy in the morning, sister gone? This new, chipper Maya was freaking her out. "From what I remember you used to be just as bad as I am."

"Yeah," Maya agreed, far too brightly in Max's opinion. "But I've been working with early call times since I was sixteen. It was either get chipper or get out. Guess which one I choose?"

Max groaned at her sister's chattiness. "Well whichever it was, it was the wrong one," Max muttered, not that Maya was listening at this point.

"I'm also not suffering from jet lag," Maya went on, completely disregarding her sister's Death Glare, patent pending. Max blatantly yawned widely in her sister's face and happily and joyfully flipped her sister the bird. "Now, now," Maya chuckled. "That's not very nice now is it?" Max muttered something that was in some language that Maya didn't even sort of recognize, but she would hazard a guess that it was NOT a nice thought. "What was that?" Maya asked curiously.

"Shut up," Max mumbled darkly.

"Well what language was it in?" Maya pressed on, trying her hardest to keep her sister at least semi-conscious.

"I don't even know," Max admitted. "Can we stop for coffee? Or tequila?"

"No," Maya said through a chuckle. "I didn't know you drank coffee. Or tequila, for that matter."

"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me," Max pointed out through another jaw splitting yawn. "But we are not going to be going down that particular road. What's this movie of yours about?" Maya looked sharply at her sister and turned her gaze back to the road.

"Well, it's about a spy that is paid to spy on another spy that is spying on another spy who is spying on the first spy. Then a love triangle is formed and then shit happens."

"Really?" Max asked curiously. "That's how you're describing your big claim to fame? Shit happens?"

Maya glared at Max before admitting sheepishly, "So maybe I haven't read the whole script."

"You're joking right?" Max asked with a snort. "You're getting paid several hundred thousand dollars to do this play and you haven't even read the script?" Maya smiled, shamefaced, as Max shook her head in disbelief. "I'm going to take a nap," Max announced, already half asleep as Maya chuckled and turned the radio on softly. "And turn that shit off," Max muttered. Maya laughed again and started humming along with the radio as Max was totally out of it.

Before long, Maya was steering her way through downtown LA that was remarkably busy at 7 in the morning. When she finally pulled into the main studio that the most recent set was currently located in, it was 7:30 and she knew she was going to get yelled at. And it wasn't just going to be by the Director (if he could remember her name) but also her few friends on set. But it was fine, Maya was used to the craziness that being a movie star entailed.

When Maya had first entered the commercial business when she was a little kid, she'd been involved in mostly small commercials. Frankly, she had taken everything and anything that was even halfway considered being a part of Hollywood. One of her most embarrassing memories was a rather unfortunate series of commercials involving dandruff shampoo that she wished she hadn't had anything to do with.

In high school, she had played a minor role in a Spanish soap opera. She had been Maria and Hidalgo's illegitimate daughter and the half-sister of Josè who she then had had a brief fling with. She had then 'died' in a horribly elaborate plot that ended up with her dismembered body being thrown in a volcano. That had been an interesting day when they finally told her how she was going to die. She'd thought her mediocre Spanish had been horribly off, but it turns out the brief language lessons she'd had with Max a week before filming had started was surprisingly accurate.

That couple of months had been when Maya had discovered her sister's amazing gift of language. Max had been in AP Spanish for a year when Maya had come home muttering in a horrible Spanish accent. After listening to her sister mutter to herself in a horrible cheesy accent that sounded like it was straight off a Taco Bell commercial for a good twenty minutes, Max had snapped and snatched the script out of her sister's hand. She'd spent the next week pounding rudimentary Spanish and basic pronunciation into Maya's skull.

Maya had been incredibly impressed. Max was patient when teaching her, well as patient as Maya had ever seen her sister. She'd also never been insulting when Maya asked the same question again and again. She'd rolled her eyes, or course, but she had answered the questions all the same. Maya had been shocked with how much Spanish Max had managed to cram into her brain. It was probably about then that she started to realize that she had been taking Max for granted. Max had graduated two weeks later, left two weeks after that, and then she was just gone. Maya hadn't had time to miss her sister while she was filming the soap opera, but after filming had ended, she'd missed Max greatly.

When she'd finally gotten hired for a full time movie, she'd been so excited. She'd learned that there was a surprisingly large amount of people that were required to make a movie happen. There were even more people working on her current film's cast and crew then the first film she'd been involved in and the Spanish soap opera combined. And although Maya was a social person who was generally willing to talk to anyone, she barely knew anyone. Everybody was always rushing around and had somewhere to be.

Maya was brought out of her thoughts when she pulled up abruptly in front of the Security Gates. Maya smiled at the elderly guard that admitted people into the set. He had been one of the first people she had met after signing onto the movie and they had struck up a friendship of sorts. "Hello Miss Martinez," he smiled at her.

"Hello Pete," Maya smiled warmly at the wizened old man. "Is your hip okay?"

"It's been better, but I'm hanging in there," Pete smiled back tipping his dark blue hat to Maya as he pushed the button, lifting the rail. "Who's your friend?" Maya glanced over at her sister who had conked out a good thirty minutes ago and was slumped against the window, drooling and muttering in her sleep.

"This is my sister, Max," Maya sighed. "I'll bring her back around and introduce you face to face sometime later when I'm not running late and she's not drooling, okay?"

"Will do, Miss Martinez," Pete said with a chuckle. "I'm glad you and your sister finally made up. Family is important, you hear?"

"I hear," Maya nodded as she put the car back in gear and drove off down the driveway. She got a gut feeling that this wouldn't be the first time today that she would be forced to listen to the whole 'family is important and you should forgive people after mistakes' talk. She wound her way around the back to the Staff Parking Lot, which was really more of an indoor parking garage. Maya easily parked her car in her reserved spot and reached over to nudge her sister awake.

Max mumbled something in Spanish that Maya roughly translated into, "A monkey has stolen my potato" but she didn't wake up. Maya grabbed Max's shoulder and started shaking her violently. Max snapped awake and punched her sister in the stomach in her still half-asleep state. When she regained enough sense to see her sister doubled in pain, wheezing slightly, she had to try very hard not to snicker out loud.

"Oops," Max said, not sounding nearly sorry enough in Maya's opinion.

"Oops?" she gasped. "You just socked me in the stomach for trying to wake you up and all you can say is 'Oops'?" Max shrugged and stretched, moaning in satisfaction as her back popped in several places. She got out of the car and bent to touch her toes as Maya finally gasped air back into her lungs.

"I didn't even punch you that hard," Max chuckled at her sister's predicament.

"Shut up," Maya groused. "Now come on, you're needed on set to help the dude who can't speak English."

"Yeah, yeah," Max said mockingly as she started to make her ways towards where she assumed the set was. Maya jogged to catch up with her sister and they walked in step towards the largest building in the complex. "So how long are we going to be here today?" Max asked curiously as she took in her surroundings.

"I'm not sure," Maya shrugged with her hands in her pockets. "It changes day to day."

"When do we eat?" Max asked suddenly with wide eyes, just realizing that if they were here late, she might not get food. That thought in and of itself nearly made Max turn on her heel and run back to the car.

Max was about to start running when Maya said, "Well, since you're here as a worker, you'll have open access to Craft Services. They usually have food on a table at all times."

"And I can eat it?" Max asked cautiously.

Maya grinned, "As much as you want."

"Whoop!" Max threw her hands up in the air and pumped her fist twice. Maya knew her sister well enough to know that Max had the largest appetite of anyone Maya had ever met. She ate even more than Ari, the football linebacker, but was still thin as a rake. Well, at least now she was. Nowadays, Max's metabolism was something to fear. Maya pitied the people of Craft Services chefs who had the task of attempting to keep up with her sister's black hole of a stomach.

As they drew up in front of the entrance, Max stopped walking. Maya halted a few steps in front and turned around to face her sister, her arms crossed on her chest. "You can't run away you know," Maya said pointedly. Max said nothing, she just held her sister's gaze with narrowed eyes.

"You'd never even get out of this parking lot." Max's eyes narrowed farther and now Maya narrowed her eyes right back at her sister.

"What are you so scared of Max? Why did you think that you have to run away from anyone who tries to get too close to you?" Max said nothing, but she did shift slightly on her feet.

"Why won't you let me help you?" Maya asked, almost pleading. Suddenly, something in Max snapped and her guilty eyes turned fiery.

"Why do you think I need help? I've never needed help! Ever!" she all but shouted at her sister, her body posture tense and hostile.

"Max," Maya whispered in a broken voice, trying to understand why her sister was shutting her out. "Why won't you let me in?"

"You know what, I'm not doing this," Max's voice sounded off and her words were slightly slurred. "Let's just go and film your stupid movie Maya." Max walked past her gob smacked sister and yanked open the door. Maya spun and walked in next to her sister.

She supposed to anyone watching they would have been an impressive sight. The two of them were spitting images of each other in the facial structure department. Max's hair was slightly blonder and Maya's was curlier. Max was also about an inch taller than Maya's five foot nine inch and Max's skin was just a little more tan.

However, other than that they were the very meaning of identical twins. Same warm brown eyes that flashed when they were angry. Same impish grin that was the definition of mischievous. They both had a commanding presence when they entered a room. They stood with their backs straight, their gait relaxed and slow yet purposeful, and the confidence they possessed, whether naturally or through experience and time, rolled off of them in waves.

As they all but stalked into the building that contained the main set, they sent the door crashing into the wall behind them. Everyone looked up as one and was immediately shocked to their core. Distantly, Maya heard someone in the back mutter, "Oh dear Lord there are two of them!"

* * *

**Done! YAY! Sorry this took so long. This one was kind of just a smidge of a filler. However, the next one, we get to see some more Fang, maybe just a little bit of tension between him and Max. I'm probably going to lean towards a Max and Fang pairing, but I don't want that to be ALL this fic is about, you know? I have a fairly good idea of what's going to go on in the next few chapters, so hopefully they'll come a little easier. Just hang with me and ALL will be made clear.**

**Also, I've gotten some wicked good ideas in the review section. You should add to that. NOW GO! Thoughts, suggestions, general things such as these, all welcome.**


	7. Lights, Cameras, Blondes!

**Disclaimer: Yeah, choose any previous disclaimer and read it now. Okay, done? Good. **

**Okay, just because I HATE author's notes in the middle of the story, I really think that it detracts from the story and distracts people, I'm putting this note up here. Anything that is said in a different language will be italicized. I don't want to go to Google translate and post what I think is one thing and it turns out was a different thing.**

* * *

Max crossed her arms over her chest and surveyed the scene in front of her. There appeared to be some sort of action movie set up going on. She supposed that this was where Maya's movie was getting filmed and where she was going to be spending an ungodly amount of time for the next undetermined amount of days. She narrowed her eyes as she saw all the people looking at her wide jaws practically on the ground. Huh.

Why were they looking at her like that? Were her clothes not matching? She'd once walked onto a ferry boat in Italy in bright green shorts with a dark red t-shirt. Apparently dressing in the dark had its drawbacks. Did she have food on her face? When she'd been in Spain a guy had hit on her for a good thirty minutes with at least four chunks of what she thought was spinach in between his teeth. What could they possibly be staring at?

Fang smirked slightly as he saw confusion written all over the newer of the twins' face. Max looked baffled as everyone stared at the two of them, their eyes going back and forth between the two of the girls. As Fang looked at the two girls, he sort of saw a few differences between the two of them that he hadn't seen before. Max was ever so slightly taller and just a little bit tanner. Maya's hair was also curlier and appeared to be done professionally, or at least Fang assumed. Although he spent more time than the average Joe in the makeup and hair department, he generally put in his iPod and just let the professionals do their thing so he could do his thing. However, Maya's hair looked like the head of the makeup and hair would have been so proud of her. And she would have been quite vocal about her pleasure.

Thinking about the newest addition to their apartment life had Fang turning red at the base of his neck and the tips of his ears. He still couldn't get the image of an almost naked Max out of his head every time he looked at her. While usually this wouldn't be a problem since they'd never see each other, because of Max's new job, she was probably going to be hanging around the set a lot more. That made Fang kind of… happy. And he frankly had no idea why.

Fang smirked again, as Max's forehead creased ever so slightly and her nose scrunched up. Before the Martinez twins had made the entrance to end all entrances, Fang had been hanging out with Iggy and his young protégé down at the Pyrotechnics and Demolition tent. They'd come out to the main set to start setting up and installing the bombs that were to be used in the movie when there had been a commotion outside of the doors. It sounded like Maya and someone else were arguing outside on the front steps. Fang would hazard a guess that it was Maya's sister Max. Their voices were muffled through the almost soundproof doors and Fang couldn't quite make out what they were saying. What he could make out was when the front doors slammed back, both twins standing there, slightly mad, and all sorts of imposing.

Fang was brought out of his mind when he saw Max recognize he and Iggy and a smile spread across her face. For some reason, Fang felt his stomach flip flop and get a funny feeling. Huh, maybe he should have eaten more breakfast. Here came Max striding over, stopping just in front of Iggy and Fang. Fang's thoughts turned away from their original rated-G thoughts going down a VERY different road and he looked away, an ever so slight blush present. Fortunately, Max either didn't see it or if she did mercifully said nothing about it. Iggy's little blond protégé's mouth was hanging open and there was a droplet of drool gathering in the corner of his mouth. Fang felt a small pang on anger and he was baffled by it. Oh well, maybe his chivalrous side was finally developing.

"How's it going?" Max drawled as she leaned forward on her arms and grinning at Iggy and Fang.

"Pretty good Maxie," Iggy grinned back, even though he couldn't see it. "And yourself?"

Max narrowed her eyes into a glare at Iggy and his horrendous nicknames. Fang was about to point out that it was a wasted effort when Max said, "I'm glaring at you Iggy."

"Eh, eh, eh," Iggy said condescendingly, wagging his finger back and forth in a mocking fashion at Max. "Out here I am the ever lovable James Griffiths and Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is Nick Walker. Don't want to confuse anyone now do we?" Iggy finished with a dramatic wink in what he assumed was Max's direction. Max rolled her eyes anyway and looked at Fang. He absently noticed the blush returning, but he willed away the inappropriate as best as he could. To his surprise, Max had a slight blush as well, though he choose not to mention anything.

"Do you know who I'm supposed to be following around today?" Fang quirked an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "The not English speaking dude," Max elaborated with a huff.

"Oh," Fang said shortly. "The last time I saw him, he was over by the Craft Services Table." When Fang mentioned Craft Services, Max's eyes lit up with a strange glint and Fang was suddenly very afraid for a reason that he couldn't identify.

"And where is this most wondrous table located?" Max asked in a somewhat maniacal tone, one that instantly had Fang on guard. He had heard that tone with Maya seconds before he was attacked with water balloons or paint filled balloons or other such balloons of doom. He knew that his best course of action was to point the Martinez twin in the direction of the table, not make eye contact, and pretend like he didn't know what happened when the Craft Services complained later.

"Over there," Max had shot off as soon as Fang pointed and left him gaping in her wake. Fang chuckled softly and went back to watching the two local pyros start hooking up and readjusting wires.

Max was practically salivating when she saw the delicious spread laid out before her on the craft services table. She shot one last look behind her at Fang, or Nick she supposed, as he smirked at something Iggy, James, had said. She felt the smallest of blushes arising to her cheeks and she shook her head to get rid of them. So what if he was good looking? And had seen her naked. She had been around the world and met some really cute guy with really cute accents, who hadn't seen her naked.

And frankly after her last disaster of a relationship that had caused her to kind of sort of flee a country… again… she wasn't really in the mood or the mindset for a boyfriend. Deciding that she was jumping to some wild and crazy conclusions if she got the word boyfriend just from seeing Fang talk to a couple of his friends, Max dropped the thought completely from her mind. Sort of.

Standing next to the Craft Services table was the same dark-harried man that Max remembered from her Skype conversation with her sister. She remembered him as the man that she had spoken Portuguese with. "_Ah, hello_," she said cheerfully as she grabbed the first sandwich she saw.

She took a massive bite as the man responded, "_Oh thank goodness you're here. You would NOT believe the stupidity of these people. They kept speaking to me in Spanish_."

Max chuckled slightly, "_I believe it. Why didn't you try an online translator or a pocket translator?" _

"_Oh,"_ the man looked dumbfounded for a moment. "_I hadn't thought of that_."

"_So, what's your job here anyway_?" Max asked curiously.

"_My dad's invested just short of a million dollars into this picture, and he wants to make sure that it turns out to be a good. He was too busy to come, so here I am. And it SUCKS_," the man spat shortly, his eyebrows drawn down in irritation. Max laughed again. She thought she heard a soft growl from somewhere off to the right, but when she looked over, all she saw was Iggy and the short blonde kid from earlier working with what looked suspiciously like C4. She decided that she must have been hearing things and turned her attention back to the Portuguese guy.

"_And who are you anyway?"_ the man asked curiously.

"_Uh, my name's Max. Max Martinez. My sister is currently playing one of the leads in this thing_," Max took the man's outstretched hand in hers and grasped it tightly in a handshake.

The man smiled at her and said, "_My name's Louis Adler. Nice to meet you. Though I guess I should say, nice to meet you again I suppose._"

Max smiled back and asked, "_So what have you been doing on set this entire time_?"

"_Eh, just watched the movie being filmed. It was cool to watch at first, but now it's gotten kind of old. It'll be better with someone to talk to though_."

"_I bet it will be. Do you speak any language other than Portuguese?_" Max asked curiously.

"_Nope_," Louis shook his head. "_It probably would have made things easier._"

"_How about I try and teach you some English? You know, to help you pass the time_," Max offered.

"_Yeah, sure why not?_" Louis agreed with a shrug. "_But we'll have to start later. Look, they're getting ready to film._" Max looked over, and sure enough, the activity on set had really started to pick up while she and Louis had been talking. Maya had made a quick stop at hair and makeup and was now fully decked out in her spy gear. Max had to admit, if she didn't know that it was Maya, she never would have recognized her own twin.

"_What the heck is this movie about anyway?_" she whispered quietly to Louis. A man in a funny little beret was waving around a mega phone that he was shouting into the wrong way.

Louis shot her a look and whispered back, "_Three spies work for different spy agencies and they're all spying on each other. There is the girl from the CIA, Isabella 'Bella' Holloway, an MI6 agent named Simon Brendon, and an NSA agent named Taylor Duncan. As they start spying on each other, Bella starts falling for both Simon and Duncan, Simon and Duncan start falling for Bella, and hilarity ensures_."

"_What do you mean hilarity?_" Max asked curiously as her sister started talking to some guy that was pointing at random spots as Maya nodded.

Louis shrugged sheepishly and admitted, "_I'm not sure, I haven't read the script, but my old translator said that was the basic plot. Also, apparently the writers did a surprisingly good job at writing in funny parts. I'm not so great at explaining it, but it's turning out really well from what I've seen. I have no idea what they're saying, but all the actors and actresses are really good_."

"_Has anybody read the script?_" Max asked rhetorically. "_Who all is working in this thing anyway?_"

"_Well, Bella is played by your sister of course, Simon by a guy I think they called Nick Walker, and Taylor is played by a guy named Omega Jacobs. Weird name, took a couple times for me to get it,_" Louis said to Max as he watched Maya make her way over to set.

Max opened her mouth to ask another question when the man with the backward megaphone shouted, "Everyone shut the hell up! We're filming!" Max widened her eyes and snickered before becoming silent as requested. "Now go peasants, go!" the man, Max assumed it was the Director, shouted loudly, waving his arms wildly above his head. "That means action you fools!"

There was a collective, "OHHHHH," from the cast and crew and they all got to their places. Max and Louis watched in wonderment as the cast and crew filmed a scene. Max had never actually seen anything that her sister had ever acted in before other than a series of dandruff shampoo commercials when they were younger that were BAD. However, Maya was good. It surprised Max just how good Maya was at completely changing who she was. It was a little disorienting to watch her sister become someone she didn't know at all. She supposed she now knew a little more of what Maya felt when she had Skyped her new and improved sister. Maya threw her whole self into her acting. Every emotion she portrayed was very much real and Max found herself mesmerized. As she watched Maya fully immerse herself in the world that only she knew, Max found herself wondering just how well she knew her sister.

* * *

**So there's like a foot of snow outside, so yours truly decided instead of doing everything she was supposed to do, she was going to write another chapter for y'all. You are welcome. Now review and let me know what you're thinking and what's going on in those little heads of yours. Or hell, even rant to me at how crappy this fic is. Or boost my self-esteem. I just want to know. Please?**

**Bye!**


	8. That one Ex-Boyfriend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. Thanks for that reminder…**

* * *

Maya breathed rather heavily as she finally stepped off of the set. It had been an emotional scene that had taken a lot out of her and she was exhausted. Fortunately she was done with her share of acting until later in the day and the next few scenes they would be filming involved only Maya's stunt double. Maya ignored the red head 'wonder' that stalked past her, her shoulders thrown back, and her head tilted up ever so snootily. Maya felt her shoulder get thrown back with a vicious shove as her stunt double purposefully ran into her. Maya merely rolled her eyes and made no move to confront the stunt double. She was getting too high and mighty for her own good, but Maya had a feeling that she would get what was coming to her in due time.

Maya made her way to the Craft Services table and grabbed a drink. As she unscrewed the lid, her twin came all but skipping over. Maya smiled at her sister as she gulped down a Gatorade and dabbed at her face with a towel in all efforts not to have smudge her makeup. If there was even so much as a slight discrepancy in her blush and foundation, her stylist would have her head on a pointed stick that she would wave around as a warning to all disobedient actresses everywhere. "What do you think?" Maya asked Max curiously.

"It's interesting," Max admitted as she looked around. Even though Maya and a handsome guy she'd been filming with were already off the set, the crew was still moving around frantically. "Who's the guy?" Max asked, looking around for him.

"Who?" Maya asked as she finished chugging her Gatorade and threw her towel in a ball into a cloth hamper. She started walking over to her movie chair with her name stitched into it and motioned for her sister to follow. Max wrinkled her nose in disgust at having Maya treat her like she was just another personal assistant, but she followed nonetheless.

"The guy you were working with. He had the short brown hair and amazing blue eyes," Max elaborated as she kept looking around.

"Oh, Omega Jacobs," Maya said, feeling her nose turn red at the mere thought of her coworker. She prayed to every deity that she knew of that Max wouldn't see it but it was all in vain. Max's grin turned devilish and far too knowing.

"Oh," Max drew the word out tauntingly. "Omega." Max nodded up and down. "I've heard a lot about him."

"You have? What?" Maya asked eagerly before she could stop herself. If Max's grin was devilish before, the smile she was flashing now would have Satan declaring her his protégé.

"Absolutely nothing. Yet," Max said, winking dramatically and waggling her eyebrows at her sister. "So you and Jacobs, eh sister dearest?"

"Shut up," Maya mumbled, clearly wishing to change the subject. Max, however, was completely ignoring her sister's reluctance.

"Have you talked to the guy?"

"Yeah," Maya sighed in defeat. When her sister caught wind of something that could even sort of be used for blackmail material later, she never just let it go. Maya just wasn't that lucky. The most important thing that Maya could do was not give away too much and speak in half truths.

"Do the tabloids know about you two?" Max asked accompanied with more eyebrow-waggling.

"There's nothing to know. Nothing's going on between us," Maya mumbled, a light pinkish sort of blush dusting her cheeks.

"Ah," Max nodded sagely. "I'm sorry then." Maya tried to glare at her sister, but it came halfhearted at best and she just shrugged.

"It's fine Max. Really," Maya sounded as if she was trying to convince herself as much as Max.

"You know that's the biggest and most frequent lie ever told," Max said absently.

"What is?" Maya asked, desperate to turn the conversation away from love life.

"The lie 'I'm fine' is the most frequent lie told ever. So what's up with you?" Maya groaned at her sister's perceptiveness. Maya cursed the fact that Max had always known what was wrong with her. When Maya had sprained her ankle in the fifth grade, she'd thought she had just bruised it. However, Max had told her that she'd hurt it bad and that she needed to go get it checked out. Maya had resisted and ignored her sister's advice for about a week before the pain became unbearable and she finally told her mother. Dr. Martinez had been furious with Maya for not saying anything sooner and she'd been at the doctors in an hour. One stern lecture, a wicked looking ankle brace, and a set of crutches later, Maya had learned that Max was a person to be feared and that Max knew all there was to know. Not literally but very freaking close.

"I kind of sort of like him, but he's indifferent," Maya said almost truthfully. That was actually a fairly gross understatement. Omega was pretty damn indifferent, the bastard was practically a block of freaking ice, but she also liked him a heck of a lot more than 'sort of'. She just wasn't going to admit it when there was a possibility of her being overheard by the ice floe himself.

"Bastard," Max said knowingly. Maya scowled slightly. She really needed to work on getting her emotions under control.

* * *

Max saw the flash of anger and then hurt that moved through Maya's eyes and she felt sympathetic. She herself was no stranger to crappy guys so she said, "Bastard," and was rewarded by a small glare from her sister. "I thought you had a personal policy not to date guys that were jerks, especially cold, indifferent ones," Max said curiously as she grabbed a water bottle from the cooler near the Craft Services table and plopped down in one of the cloth movie star chairs next to Maya, completely disregarding the name stitched onto it. She propped an elbow up on the arm rest with her cheek resting on her palm, staring intently at her sister. She took a gulp of her water and raised her eyebrows at Maya.

"Well, I haven't really dated anyone after that disastrous relationship in high school with Ratchet," Maya finally said, leaning back gently in her chair.

"I remember," Max snorted as she remembered the boy Maya was referring to. Richard McMillan, known to his friends and family as Ratchet, had been an old family friend of the Martinez family, their parents having been old college friends. Ratchet was Max and Maya's age and was deeply involved in the Drama Program, so he got along far better with Maya than he did with Max. In fact, Max had always thought of Ratchet as a twit, but that was neither here nor there.

Max only knew briefly of what had happened between Maya and Ratchet from the few emails she and her mother had exchanged in the time after she first left America. From what Dr. Martinez had described, Maya and Ratchet had started dating sometime in their senior year and at first Ratchet was the same 'sweet and sensitive' boy that both Maya and their mother had always proclaimed him to be. Then Ratchet apparently went bat shit crazy. Well, he finally showed that he was bat shit crazy in Max's eyes. He started eavesdropping on all of Maya's calls, following her around at every waking moment, and not letting her do anything without him. Maya had tried to end the relationship, but Ratchet, in his bat shit craziness, wouldn't let that happen.

However, the one thing that Max had never understood was how exactly Maya had gotten Ratchet to back off. One email Dr. Martinez was talking about how unhappy Ratchet was making Maya and the next she was talking about Ari making the middle school football team. Max had been curious but that was right at the time that she was dealing with a somewhat sticky situation involving a Brazilian Customs Officer and a thirteen foot anaconda, so she'd forgotten to ask. Ratchet was never brought up again by her mother so Max hadn't asked. But now, she had time to ask the source.

"How exactly did you end it with Mr. Clingy?" Maya smirked at her sister's name for her ex-boyfriend.

"I kind of slapped him in front of the entire senior and junior class at a pep assembly and told him if he didn't leave me alone I would file for a restraining order," Maya admitted almost sheepishly. Max wasn't sure if it was from the way she handled the situation or if Maya regretted that she hadn't thought of it sooner.

"That's it?" Max snorted, hoping to take her sister's mind off of her terrible ex-boyfriend, if only for a moment. Max knew that ex-boyfriends and thoughts associated with them tended to make most people depressed. Max however found that most of her ex-boyfriend stories could brighten most anyone's day. "That's pretty weak Maya. I mean don't get me wrong, it's a start, but you could have done better."

"What are you talking about?" Maya asked with a chuckle, knowing she was in for a story.

"I once got a guy arrested at the border between Paraguay and Argentina to keep him from going after me." Maya started coughing and laughing at the same time.

"How the hell did you do that?" Maya finally managed to gasp between snickers as Max calmly took another sip of water, trying to draw out the suspense as best she could.

"Well the guy was an American tourist and didn't speak a lick of Spanish. So I waited until they made an announcement over the loudspeaker and told him that he had to go to a different airport terminal through security if he wanted to be on the same flight as I was. When he wasn't looking I dumped seven handfuls of change and a pocketknife in his pockets. He was then tackled by like five security guards, tasered twice, and dragged off to the little jail in the airport."

Maya threw her head back and roared with laughter. "What'd you do that for?" she finally asked.

"The asshole snuck into the apartment building I was living in at the time and when I told the guard and got him kicked out, he tried to sneak in through the window. So excuse me," Max said with a snort. That guy had been one of the more… enthusiastic suitors she had met in her travels. He had also been a good twenty years older than her and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"That's hilarious," Maya giggled.

"I know right?" Max chuckled along with her sister. "I always managed to attract the crazies while I was out and about."

"Are you telling me that he wasn't even the worse?" Maya asked in disbelief.

"Nope. Granted, he was up there, but he wasn't as bad as the guy who followed me from Botswana to Madagascar up and around Africa into Kenya. That dude had one too many screws loose in his noggin."

"Sounds like it," Maya smiled at Max. Max leaned back in her chair and finished off the water bottle she was drinking and looked at her sister intently. As she was looking at her, Max noticed something off.

"Didn't you have a pink streak in your hair?" Max asked suddenly. Maya looked startled by the change of topic but she nodded.

"Yeah I did. Remember I dyed it so people would stop confusing us all the time?"

"Yeah. When'd you stop dyeing it?"

"About a month or two after you left. With no more you around, it wasn't really necessary now was it?" Maya asked rather sarcastically.

"I guess not," Max chuckled at her sister's logic.

"So do you like him or do you **like** him?" Max asked rather cryptically.

"Who?" Maya asked in confusion as to who her sister was referring to. Max rolled her eyes at her sister's short attention span.

"Omega," Max said pointedly.

"Oh him," Maya said. She said no more, but she didn't have to. The blush on her face was more than enough of an answer for Max.

"Never mind then," Max waved her hand in the air.

"I hate you," Maya muttered.

"No you don't," Max sang.

"Actually I do. I really do," Maya said resolutely. Max rolled her eyes at her sister and shook her head. "Tell me more about some of your bad boyfriends," Maya said to steer the conversation away from her.

"Yeah sure," Max agreed with a shrug. "So there was this one guy…"

* * *

Fang clenched his jaw and felt one of his hands tighten into a fist. He had been over getting food from the amazing Craft Services table when he overheard Max and her foreign charge talking. Well, he assumed they were talking together. They were speaking a language that Fang thought he heard Max say was Portuguese, but he wasn't 100% SURE that was what she'd said. It was after all in a different language. One couldn't really blame Fang. However, when he was the foreign guy, Louis he thought, make Max laugh, something made the pit of his stomach twist in an uncomfortable fashion. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was that he was feeling, but he knew that it only appeared to be happening in the past couple days.

Fang groaned as he watched the short little red head that was supposed to be Maya's stunt double march onto set. Fang had nothing against the girl, he just thought that she wasn't much of an actresses or a stunt double. She might be halfway decent for anyone else, but since she was only about 5'3", she was far too short to be mistaken for Maya. She also had bright red hair that Fang had once heard her tell the makeup specialist was all natural. Fang had been fascinated by her hair as it really was practically fire engine red, but it didn't look dyed. However much Fang liked the red hair, it didn't match Maya's blondish brown hair in the slightest.

The stunt double, Fang was ashamed to admit he didn't have the foggiest idea what her name was, was also just a little too full of herself. While Fang admired confidence in anyone, he found it irritating when the confidence wasn't logical. And in the case of the stunt double, it wasn't. She needed just a little more work. Although Fang could honestly say he had no idea what sort of training went into being a stunt double. Huh. Come to think of it, he didn't know a whole heck of a lot about the movie business. Especially not in the action movie business.

Fang too had his own stunt double, a guy by the name Kevin. He and Fang weren't close per say, but Fang admired Kevin's work. The guy had allowed the makeup people to cut and dye his hair to match Fang's and had even allowed the stunt choreographing people to send him to a tanning booth to have his skin more closely match Fang's own olive tone. While normally Fang would find that just a little weird for a guy to go through all that just to make it look more realistic, Fang admired the dude. Kevin was also a pretty smart guy and Fang had had more than a couple interesting conversations with him while they were being prepped for set.

Fang was brought out of his thoughts when he heard two identical laughs. He looked over and saw both Maya and Max laughing with each other. Fang felt something flutter in his stomach and he looked at the sandwich he was eating before tossing it in a garbage can. It was obviously doing weird things to his stomach. He wiped the crumbs on his hands off on his pants and he made his way over towards the Martinez twins. He heard Max telling Maya some stories about ex-boyfriends and he felt something clench in his gut. Again with the weird stomach things. He really hoped that sandwich hadn't given him food poisoning. He shoved his hands into his pockets and smirked at the two of them. Max's eyes narrowed immediately as she saw Fang and he glared right back causing the weird stomach thing again. Something about her just rubbed him the wrong way he supposed.

"So I guess you get around, huh?" Fang asked Max with a slightly lopsided grin. Maya looked at her dark haired roommate slack jawed. Had Fang been in his right mindset, he would have been just as shocked. He had just told a joke! He had just told a PERVERSE joke! Max's eyes narrowed right back at Fang. Instead of blowing her top like Fang had assumed she would, she pointedly swept her eyes up and down his body.

"More than you pretty boy," she sneered. Fang couldn't stop himself; he let out a soft chuckle. This time, Fang was in the mindset to at least be slightly shocked. He had just LAUGHED. According to almost everyone he knew, he didn't know HOW to laugh. And Max's simple comeback was enough to cause him to chuckle.

* * *

Max felt something deep in her chest flutter as she heard Fang's low chuckle. However, she shook her head and ignored it as she moved to keep bantering back and forth with the dark-haired man.

* * *

Maya felt like her jaw was on the ground. Fang had smiled; well it was more like a grin-smirk type thing. But it was still technically a smile! And then he had told a joke. And then he laughed! He LAUGHED! And now he was saying more words in one conversation with Max than Maya had heard him say in the several months she'd known him. He was bantering easily with her twin the two of them taking shots back and forth at each other. However, they were both grinning, Max's was of course larger, so they weren't being mean or serious.

As she watched the two of them talk and smile at each other, Maya found herself smirking a smirk that would have Fang proud. Max always knew when Maya liked someone, but Maya had never known when Max had liked someone. However, she was much more adept at reading Fang than most people were. And she was far more perceptive then most people gave her credit for being. Oh this was going to be **FUN**!

* * *

**Done!**

**Aw, the poor Martinez Twins. They both have the most rotten luck when it comes to dating people. Writing about Max's bad boyfriends was far more entertaining than I thought I would. Highly entertaining. And the Fang and Max goodness is starting to show up a little more eh? Too bad they're both incredibly dense. And I got some Maya crushing going on. Like I said, this isn't going to be a totally Fang and Max focus. Other characters are just as much a part of this. And Maya's got some inkling on some Fax, just like you guys.**

**Kevin was mentioned briefly during the first book. For those of you who never read Nevermore or Angel, it's cool. Ratchet is a character from those books, I think. Confession time. I kind of became disenchanted with the series after Fang. I read the plot lines of Angel and Nevermore online, and I gotta admit, I wasn't all that impressed. I'm trying to make any character I mention from the actual series, so I'm just looking them up along with short little blurbs for basic information from a website. Very helpful. Eventually I'm going to run out of characters though… oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, eh?**

**Did you guys catch that 'hint' I left at the end there with Fang's point of view? I really can't make it all that more obvious. If you didn't catch, I can't help you. Next chapter should introduce us to some new people. Are you all excited? You should be! But you should review and let me know who you want to meet first. Of course, that's assuming you know who's slated to be introduced. I've got three; count them three, people who are to be introduced in the coming chapters. Choose wisely my friends.**

**So let me know what you guys think. Of the Maya and Omega thing. Of the Fang and Max. Of who you want to see next. Of this too long author's note. Of whether you like what's going on. Seriously, if you have any suggestions I'm not going to know if you don't share.**


	9. Red Haired Wonder

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing. NOTHING.**

**So no one told me who they wanted first, nor did they take me obvious hint of who was to come. Most people got two, but not the third. So, you all get to meet the 'mysterious' third. Serves you all for not reviewing. Bwahaha!**

* * *

Max was trading (somewhat) friendly insults with her sister's, and now hers she supposed, dark-haired roommate. She found Fang incredibly easy to talk, well, argue with. Max personally hadn't found anyone this easy to talk to since one of her most recent exes kind of went nuts. Now that Max thought about it, he kind of reminded her rather strongly of Fang. Something about the both of them was rather familiar. Max shook her head slightly to rid herself of thoughts about her ex. He was NOT someone that she enjoyed thinking about.

* * *

Fang quirked an eyebrow at Max when he noticed that she was sort of out of it. Max, however, appeared to be in no mood to explain herself, so she just stuck her tongue at Fang. He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to start another round of retorts, but the Director interrupted. "Everybody shut up!" he shouted. Though the Director was still pointing his megaphone the wrong direction, his natural volume more than made up for the deficit. Max and Fang both fell silent, but not before they sent amused looks at each other.

As Fang was watching the crew set up with a bored expression, he kept glancing at Max out of the corner of his eyes. He really hoped she didn't notice because then she would be expecting an explanation as to why he was creeping on her and he didn't really have an explanation for that. There was just… something about Max. Maybe she was just annoying him. Yeah, that sounded about right.

* * *

Max was watching as everyone got set up with interest. This was her first time on a Hollywood movie set, after all. The cameramen all pointed their cameras at the appropriate point, the special effects managers were all set, and when Max looked really hard, she swore she saw a flash of strawberry blond hair worked in amongst the crowd. However, when she blinked again, it was gone so she figured she had just imagined it.

As much as Max wished she could say that she was focusing on the somewhat organized chaos going on around her with 100% of her focus, she was not a liar. Well, she wasn't a BIG one. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get across the Mexican border, right? No, Max wasn't paying nearly enough attention to her surroundings. She blamed the guy standing next to her fully. Fang kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes and it was really quite disturbing. Max kept glancing covertly back in an attempt to figure out just what was up with this Fang guy. Something about him was bothering Max. Yeah, that was it. He was annoying.

* * *

Maya watched as her roommate and her twin kept sending 'sneaky' glances at each other and it took all her willpower not to roll her eyes. Those two were about as dense as rocks. As Maya watched, Fang and Max glanced at each other and caught each other's eyes. They both immediately looked way, their faces identically red. This time, Maya couldn't stop the eye roll. "Would you two stop flirting with each other and get a room?" she grumbled. Both Max and Fang sent Maya a glare that she promptly ignored.

* * *

Max blushed at the mere implication that she would ever even _like_ that dark colored antisocial perv. However, she did turn her attention to the set. "What's this scene about anyway?" she murmured to her sister, risking Maya's wrath. Maya scowled at her sister but answered her question nonetheless.

"I think this is the one where Bella is being blown up out of a building. That's what all those pyrotechnics were doing around set earlier. They're only called in on days requiring their area of expertise. Which is probably why Iggy was up and running this morning. Normally you can't get that lazy ass out of bed before noon." Max sent a smirk at her sister as she strained her neck to catch a glimpse of the local pyrotechnic. She swore she saw another flash of strawberry-blond hair. However, this time, she was able to connect the hair with a tall, pale figure that made up Iggy.

"And here I was thinking that he'd blown himself up," Maya grinned lightly at her sister's joke.

"Nah, he'd enjoy it too much for it to be punishment," Maya piled on as Fang shot the twins a look.

"Would you two shut up?" he hissed, his eyes still trained on the set, searching for something. Max stuck her tongue out at him childishly and started tapping her foot impatiently.

"Alright, I'm ready!" a voice called. Max's eyes widened slightly as a shorter, somewhat stocky, redhead made her way onto the set. If Max was completely honest with herself, she would probably admit that she was actually a rather attractive girl. However, this was going to be one of those times that Max was going to lie to herself through her teeth and tell herself that this girl was ugly as an ape. And that she was too short. And that her hair was dyed. And probably a slew of other mean things as soon as the scene was done filming because Max really was interested in the whole movie making process.

Max watched intently as the red-haired wonder, as Max had dubbed her somewhat sarcastically in her mind, was hooked into harnesses and hoisted onto what appeared to be a fake building. The crew members were all saying something to her, but Max couldn't make out a word of what they were saying. If her lip-reading skills were up to par, one of the men was cheating on his crocodile with his wife's parakeet and one of the girls was doing some VERY inappropriate things with a kumquat that had Max cringing.

Suddenly, all the lights except the ones trained on the red-haired wonder dimmed and that nutjob with the megaphone was screaming at everyone to shut up. The red-haired wonder disappeared for a moment and suddenly there she went. She all but flung herself out of the window of the faux building as the superficial explosives all went off behind her.

She landed with a rather undignified "OOF!" in a pillow thing that Max hadn't noticed before that was set up at the base of the building.

"Very good Lissa!" the megaphone man shouted. Huh. Lissa was her name. Noted. "That's it for today folks! See you all bright and early in the morning tomorrow! I want you all bright-eyed and bushy tailed!" There was a muttering that may have vaguely been consent and everyone was moving again. Max stood there for a moment, her mind in a fog.

"That's it?" she finally managed to sputter. "That was so anticlimactic!"

"Well, it's already like four o'clock," Maya informed her sister, glancing down at her watch to check the time. "What did you expect, for us to be here all night?"

"Kind of!" Max admitted. "But it feels like I hardly did anything, especially after Louis went home like four hours ago."

"Well you did wonderfully with Louis," Maya assured her sister. "And I think he might have a crush on you." Max rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her sister.

* * *

Fang felt something within him start seething when he heard Maya tell Max that Louis liked her. There was that goddamned weird feeling in the pit of his stomach again. It felt like something within it was clenching and unclenching painfully. When he saw Max roll her eyes he was relieved. Why, he did not know, but nonetheless he was relieved all the same. That stupid feeling in the depths of his stomach wasn't going away anytime soon, so Fang interrupted the twins' conversation.

"How about we go get some food?" he suggested, his stomach rumbling slightly to enunciate his point. There was an identical rumble that came distinctly from Max's direction and she blushed slightly, her nose and cheeks pink. Fang smirked slightly at her and he cocked an eyebrow.

"What? I'm hungry too," Max defended herself with a huff.

Fang let out a slight snort that for most others would have been a chuckle, and he asked, "Where do you guys want to go?"

"I'd kill for some good Chinese," Max admitted sheepishly.

"What about Thai?" Fang countered. Honest to goodness, he loved Chinese food but he seemed to get a perverse sort of enjoyment from seeing the little furrow that creased Max's forehead when she got angry. Or frustrated. Or confused. Or any combination of the three. Highly amusing. Max did her little huff thing that Fang had discovered she only did when she wanted to argue but just didn't have it in her.

"Fine," Max drew the word out in a groan and Fang couldn't resist a cheeky grin in her direction. Max's only response was to roll her eyes which made Fang all the more happy. Huh. Happy. Weird. Now that Fang thought about it, he supposed he hadn't felt this happy in a while. Something about that infuriating not-quite-blonde was causing him to be happy of all freaking things. Fang filed away that information to sort through later and he went to go find Iggy to go off on their grand quest for Thai food.

* * *

Max walked back to where she and her sister had spent a large portion of the day just talking and lounging around to grab her jacket. As she was walking back to the cast chairs, she ran into the red haired girl from before.

"Sorry," Max said gruffly as the other girl, Lissa, 'accidentally' rammed her shoulder against Max's. Lissa said nothing, instead shooting Max a rather nasty glare. Now normally Max would have just let the glare for the 'snobby and high and mighty American' pass her by and roll off her. However, it was Max's first time back in the country for four years so she didn't have even the slightest idea of what this Lissa chick had against her. Although she had to imagine that maybe it had something to do with the fact that Lissa only came up to about her shoulder and her deepest desire was to dunk a basketball and due to the fact that she was a shrimp it was never going to happen. 'Oh wow', Max thought to herself. 'I really need to get more sleep.'

"Can I help you?" a rather shrill voice broke through Max's lack of sleep deluded thoughts.

"Huh, what?" Max asked in confusion.

"You've been staring at me for like the past minute," the red head said slowly, as if talking to a child. Max internally bristled, but she kept a calm façade on the outside.

"Sorry, I spaced out there for a moment," she apologized. Lissa's irritated look was replaced instead with a somewhat more apologetic one.

"Sorry, I've just been really on edge lately," Lissa sounded sincere. "I thought that being a Hollywood stuntwoman would be totally different you know?" Max nodded quickly, unsure of how she was expected to respond that.

"At least I get to hang out with all the cute movie stars, but let me tell you that they are waaaaay overrated." Max quirked an eyebrow and opened her mouth to say something when Lissa went on.

"That Omega guy is sort of an asshole. He doesn't talk and looks at everyone like their beneath him. And that Nick character, he's so hot, but he just stands there and frowns. Like, all the time. Even the head actress is kind of a bitch. She just scowls anytime I try and talk to her. Just because I'm a crappy stunt double for her doesn't really mean that I choose this now does it? I wanted to go work on my own movie as an actual actress, not some cheap body that they just explode willy-nilly." Max nodded again and looked around in a desperate attempt to find an escape.

"You know, I don't even know your name. What is it?"

"Eh, Max. Maximum Ride," Max held out her hand which Lissa grasped and pumped it up and down several times.

"Well it's nice to meet you Max. My name is Lissa Riley. I'm currently the stunt double for Maya Martinez. You know, you kind of look like her. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Max chuckled slightly to herself. "It's been mentioned."

"Well, enjoy hanging out around this madhouse," Lissa scowled as she looked pointedly around the set. "Sanity isn't a requirement when applying for jobs."

"So it would seem," Max muttered and nodded goodbye to Lissa. She scooped up her jacket and ran over to where Maya was impatiently tapping her foot.

"What the hell took you so long?" Maya asked grumpily. Max shot a look back to where Lissa was standing unhappily next to a man who was pointing at a screen and talking a mile a minute.

"Got lost," Max said shortly as she exited the warehouse with the set in as an effective conversation ender.

* * *

Maya tapped her foot impatiently on the ground. She and Max had been all but out the door when her sister had realized that she'd left her jacket on the back of the chair by the Craft Services table. Max had walked back and left Maya waiting here for her sister by the Studio door.

With another look at her watch, Maya finally turned around in a huff and ran smack dab into a rather hard something. And it was warm. A rather warm and hard something. With an undignified squawk, Maya flew back from the person that she'd run into. "Sorry!" she sputtered as she scrambled to get her face out of someone's chest. To Maya's absolute mortification, the person she had run into was her handsome costar. 'Well that just figures,' Maya thought rather bitterly as she stared at the unhappy face of Omega Jacobs.

"Sorry," Maya said again apologetically.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," Omega said coldly. He walked past without another word. Maya turned and watched Omega go an aggravated groan.

She finally saw Max finally walk over, and though it hadn't really been that long, she snapped, "What the hell took you so long?"

Max looked back over her shoulder at something that Maya couldn't quite make out from her angle and said, "Got lost." Maya opened her mouth to mock her sister, just a little though, but Max pushed past her and left eh warehouse, ending that conversation.

"Fine, I guess everybody's in a pissy mood," Maya groused to herself as she followed her sister out of the building dejectedly. She jogged slightly to keep up with her sister's pace and as they walked, Maya remembered something that was rather important.

"Fang wouldn't happen to have mentioned which Thai place to you did he?" she asked hopefully, her face twisted in an odd expression.

"No, why?" Max responded curiously.

"Because he didn't tell me either."

"Oh great," Max groaned. "Oh well, guess we'll just have to check all the places around here."

"You do realize this is Los Angeles, right?" Maya asked with a snort. "There's probably like a hundred Thai places within a twenty mile radius."

"Well," Max sighed. "We're screwed."

"Yeah," Maya sighed as well. "I guess we'll be doing Plan B."

"And what's that?" Max asked curiously.

"Pizza!" Maya proclaimed happily. Max grinned, slapped Maya's proffered hand in a high-five, and they jumped into the car. "You have to try this one place we're going," Maya said as she started the engine. "Although I'm pretty sure they're run by the mob, the food is amazing. You haven't had pizza until you've had this stuff."

"I've had pizza in actual Italy," Max stated to her sister's chagrin.

"Well shut up and enjoy it anyway and stop bragging," Maya ordered childishly.

"Yeah, yeah," Max waved her hand dismissively in the air.

* * *

**So when I started this chapter, I had no idea where it was really going to go or who was going to be introduced next, but when I was writing for Lissa, everything sort of clicked. It's diabolical, true, but so am I so you all are going to love it. Maybe. **

**Hey did you know I can see how many people have clicked on my story? And did you know that that number does not even sort of match the amount of reviews? Shame on you. Shame on you all. Would it encourage you all to review if I did that whole 'I'll update when I get _ number of reviews'? Cause I'm not above doing that.**


	10. Spongebob and Yogurt

**Disclaimer: Insert joke and what I would change if I was the author and maybe a winky smily face. ;)**

* * *

Max yawned widely and glared at the ceiling drowsily. After a night of eating and goofing around with Maya all night at the little Italian place, Max supposed she should have been out cold. However, after eating so many pizza slices and hoagies earlier, she had been to full to eat anything when they finally got home at about 10 o'clock and had flopped into bed. Now, however, her stomach was making its hunger known and was rumbling so loud Max was surprised that every in the apartment wasn't up. Max tossed and turned a few more times, but it was in vain. Finally, with a huff, Max threw the black sheets off the bed and swung her legs over the side. She slid her feet into her fuzzy slippers and slipped on her robe. The short robe didn't go much father past the skimpy fabric of her short shorts but the long sleeves went well past the short sleeves of her sleeping shirt.

Max shuffled along the hallway, the colder air of the apartment causing her to shiver. She folded her arms over her chest and made her way into the kitchen. She bent down and rummaged through the refridgerator. Unfortuneltly, the only thing that she could find was Maya's stupid Greek yogurt. With a slight scowl, Max grabbed a cup of the yogurt and closed the fridge. As she turned around to start looking for a spoon, she came face to face with a dark-clad figure. Max let out a rather undignified shriek.

* * *

Fang tossed and turned uncomfortably on the lumpy couch in the apartment. He made a mental note to order a new one, it wasn't like he lacked the money. In a surprising show of emotion, Fang huffed and threw off his blankets. Though he appreciated the gesture, the blankets weren't that much more comfortable than the couch and he was sick and tired of scratching at them. As Fang was all set to call a cab and spend the night in a hotel, he heard a door somewhere down the hall open and shut. His curiosity piqued, Fang poked his head over the edge of the couch and waited to see who could possibly be up at three in the morning when they had work the next morning.

Soon, a figure shuffled their way into view. Fang's eyes narrowed in the darkness, attempting to make out whoever was up and walking around the apartment. He strained his eyes as best he could but all he could tell was that it was apparently a two-legged creature and was NOT a midget. Other than that, he could make out nothing. Walking forward and slipping silently up on the counter, his feet folded underneath him. As he got closer, he could safely say that it was one of the twins. Unless, of course, Iggy had grown his hair out, a pair of boobs, and taken to wearing short shorts with what appeared to be Spongebob slippers. Fang's early observations were confirmed when the figure opened up the fridge, letting a blinding light shine. Fang had to blink several times to get the spots swimming in his vision to go away. Judging solely by the slippers, Fang would hazard a guess that the person now rummaging through the fridge was Max. Her sister not only despised the kid's show, but she also slept like a rock and refused to eat past 10:30.

Max made a disgruntled noise with her head stuck in the fridge and Fang found his gaze drawn to something far different from Max's slippers. Specifically, her rear end which was sticking straight up in shorts that left not a whole lot to the imagination. Before Fang's mind could go much farther in the gutter, Max shut the fridge and stood up straight. Fang found himself both relieved and disappointed at the same time. However, whatever he may or may not be feeling, depending on what level of denial Fang was in, Fang's thoughts were abruptly cut off. Max had decided that at that moment, she was going to turn around. And shriek.

Fang lunged off the counter and quickly clamped his hand over her mouth. He shot her a glare as he listened to the sounds of the apartment, listening intently to any sounds that anyone had heard Max's shriek. Fang was paying so much attention to the muffled groan that emanated from the direction of Iggy's bedroom that he completely missed the furious look Max sent him. However, he in no way missed the disgusting sensation of Max licking his palm.

"Urgh!" Fang exclaimed as he quickly wiped his palm on his flannel sleep pants. "What was that for?"

"Creeping up on me in the middle of the night!" Max hissed. She seemed to have taken Fang's 'advice' and not spoken loudly.

"Hey, I was sleeping peacefully on the couch, you're the one creeping around," Fang shot back, stretching the truth ever so slightly.

"Then why the hell are you up and creeping?" Max asked.

Fang pursed his lips and said, "I woke up because I heard a door open and close and I wanted to know who was up."

"Well can't you do that without creeping?" Max asked, her whisper sounding harsh in the stillness of the apartment.

"I wasn't creeping!" Fang protested.

"Right," Max drew the word out tauntingly and started rummaging around in the cabinets closest to her.

"What are you doing?" Fang asked in exasperation. Max shot him a look and waved the yogurt in her hand around by way of an explanation. Fang got what she was saying and made his way across the kitchen. Without a word, he pulled the drawer next to the stove open and took out a spoon. He made a move to give it to Max, but when the blonde girl made a grab for it, he yanked it back. He did it a few more times until he could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. Deciding it was in his best interests to hand over the spoon to save himself, Fang finally gave Max the spoon. With an aggravated glare, she plopped down on the couch.

Fang went into the fridge and fished out a yogurt for himself, grabbed a spoon, and a box full of granola crumbles. He went and sat next to Max on his previous bed and handed her the granola. When she looked at him skeptically, he shoved a spoonful of his own yogurt in his mouth and said, "Trust me."

While he and Max were eating their yogurt, Fang turned on the TV. Max grabbed the remote and started clicking through the channels. Whenever she passed by a show that Fang thought looked interesting, Fang would full on jump across the couch and try to wrestle the remote from Max's grasp. This led to Max and Fang wrestling around on the couch over a TV remote. The third time this happened, Fang pinned Max on the couch and snatched the remote victoriously from her grasp. He was about to start gloating when he noticed what position they were in. He also noticed that Max was an impressive shade of red. Oops.

* * *

Max felt like her face was on fire. Fang was currently pinning her down on the couch, the TV remote they had been fighting over laying forgotten to the side. He was also shirtless. Very much shirtless. With abs that were impressive. Which she could see due, again to the fact that he was shirtless. Did she mention the lack of shirt, because it was really quite distracting.

* * *

By this point, Fang was also blushing now and he quickly climbed off of her, the remote clutched in his hand. He and Max sat in an awkward silence for some time, until Fang broke the silence. "Max..." he asked softly and hesitantly.

Max sighed and asked in just as hushed tones, "What pervert?"

Fang gave her a halfhearted glare but said slowly, as if testing the waters, "What's tattooed on your shoulder?"

Max took a few deep breaths and she said, "When did you see that?"

Fang turned a darker shade of red and he mumbled slightly, "Uh, earlier this morning."

Neither of the two said anything as Fang tried to fight the horrible blush that was creeping up his neck and Max was fighting every instinct to reach over and throttle Fang. It was taking more self control than she actually knew she possessed.

Finally she said, "It's a pair of wings. It's got 'Fly on' written underneath."

Fang nodded uncomfortably and tried to think of something, anything, to say. Luckily for him, Max stepped in to the rescue. She grabbed back the TV remote and switched the channel to late night Spongebob reruns. Fang shot her a scowl but sat back on his lumpy couch and spent the rest of the night laughing with Max, the tattoo incident long forgotten.

* * *

Max's eyes were sticky with sleep and she yawned and stretched, her hand hitting something warm. "Oh please not again," she muttered to herself as she rolled over and came face-to-abs with Fang's stomach. Fang gave a noise of protest at the loss of heat and made to grab Max again. "Fang," Max mumbled as she ran her hands through her sleep tangled hair. "Fang wake up." When Fang gave no signs of having heard her, Max elbowed him slightly in the gut. However, it must have been harder than she thought because Fang snapped awake with a grunt of pain.

Max watched as confusion flitted across Fang's face as he looked around drowsily, still trying to piece last night together. When he finally grasped that the two of them had somehow managed to end up tangled in the blankets that Fang had sworn he had tossed off of the couch at some point last night, Max was out of the mess of blankets and moving into the kitchen. Fang groaned and asked groggily, "What time is it?'"

Max checked the clock on the oven as she started warming up the coffee machine, "4:52. What time do we have to be at set today?"

Fang thought for a moment and replied, "I think it's 7:30. What do we do until then?"

"Sleep," Max said immediately on reflex.

"Nope," Fang shook his head. "Iggy and Maya will be getting up in like twenty minutes and will be shouting at us to get up. Too troublesome."

Max stuck her tongue out in Fang but it was cut short by a jaw-popping yawn. "Well Mr. Smartypants, what do you suggest we do then?"

Fang looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up. He gestured Max over and whispered into Max's ear. Max listened with her face expressionless before she turned to him, her eyes wide, and nodded enthusiastically.

* * *

"Holy shit," Max moaned in pure heaven as she gasped, "This is amazing."

Fang smirked at her and asked, "You like that?" All Max could do was nod through her pleasure. Fang smirked again and took another sip of his coffee as he leaned back in his chair.

"How'd you even find this place?" Max asked around a mouthful of doughnut. It was one of those icing and sprinkles one that drips in doughnut glaze that you just know is horrific for your health but it's so good that you can't care. She had two more doughnuts on a plate in front of her and a coffee much like Fang's resting next to the side. "It's amazing."

"I was being chased by a very vicious group of fangirls and I dove in through here. The guy who runs it is pretty chill and he lets me hide out here whenever they're getting bad," Fang explained.

Max sipped at her coffee and asked, "What the hell is a fangirl."

Fang chuckled and elaborated, "They're a not-rare-enough breed of girls that are very terrifying. They follow me around screaming and shrieking and they know far too much about me. It's disturbing, but they follow me around and ask for pictures, and autographs and babies."

"Babies?" Max sputtered, coughing on her coffee and pounding on her chest.

"Oh yeah," Fang said seriously as he impassively sipped at his coffee. "There was this one chick. She was scary beyond belief. She knew how much I weighed at birth, what hospital I was born in, and what the middle name of my doctor was. She tracked me down with a GPS and screamed out that she wanted my children when I was like twelve. It prompted my mother to then give me The Talk which was the most scarring day ever. "

Max threw her head back and laughed while Fang smiled.

* * *

Bridget Dwyer smiled at her good luck. *Snap*. She looked down at the screen on her camera and grinned at the photograph displayed. This was _**TOO**_ good.

* * *

**So I thought that I knew where I was going with this. I didn't and veju la, this was made. Sorry this took so long, my laptop decided it didn't want to work anymore and it died. Stupid technology...**

**So, I've decided that because I'm getting a minority complex and I feel inadequate, until you all review ten times, no update for you. If you double that number, I'll speed up my release date. So go. Go now. I dare you.**

**YOU ALL HAVE 5 REVIEWS LEFT AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IS ALREADY LOADED ON MY DOCS MANAGER. **


	11. Diablo and Her Stinky Brother

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

It had been a solid two weeks since Max had first flown, quite literally, back into Maya's life. Somewhere in the four years that Max had been gone, Maya had forgotten just how grounded Max made her feel. Just the other day, Maya had been yelling at a P.A. to get her a cappuccino when Max had whapped her upside the head and called her a very rude name in Italian. Maya had asked what she'd called her and Max translated it to her quietly. The name had Maya blushing anytime anyone mentioned cucumbers.

Maya cringed slightly at the memory and sipped contently at her coffee. For some bizarre reason, she was in a good mood today. A good enough mood to read one of the cheesy tabloids that one a PA had given her when she had been done with it. She flipped through the articles, amused. She read about all of her fellow Hollywood big wigs' going on's. She glanced absently at the cover and had to look back at it again. Suddenly, coffee was sprayed all over as Maya spewed it in shock. Oh holy SHIT!

Maya sprung out of her chair, her coffee abandoned beside her chair, the tabloid grasped tightly in her hand. She had to find Max. NOW. Maya got ready to start sprinting along the sets and rooms looking for her sister, she even tightened her shoelaces. She spun and took a total of three steps towards the back rooms when she ran smack dab into the Director.

"Can I help you?" the Director asked, rather perplexed. "Or do you just enjoy running into people as a recreational activity? Because I do. It's big fun. Highly entertaining."

"Have you seen my sister?" Maya cut off the Director before he could get to any of the really crazy ramblings. They were scary as hell.

The Director furrowed his brow and started to say, "Well, I think-" Whatever else he was going to say is lost to everyone, probably even him.

The Director was interrupted by a loud, "I QUIT!"

Well. That couldn't be good.

Maya and frankly the whole freaking set turned to look at the source of the argument. What they saw would be quite comical if it were to be taken out of context. A furious red-faced red-head was standing with her hands on her cocked hips and her mouth opened wide. She was standing opposite a tall pale man who was waving around a clipboard animatedly.

"You can't just quit!" Clipboard Man shouted back his face turning red too as the argument got heated.

The red-head sneered and said, "Watch me!"

"We've got a contract! You can't walk out on us without fair cause!"

The red-head's face got even redder, if that's at all possible. "Good cause!" she snapped loudly and irritably. "You want good cause; I can show you and your jack ass crew reasonable and good cause, assholes!"

"Oh this should be good," Maya muttered to herself in almost glee. The set had been too damn quiet for too damn long.

* * *

Fang groaned and felt like pounding his head against a cement wall. The set had been so nice lately. No drama, no fighting, no hissy fits, and nothing else that Fang had generally equated with bad things and girls. Why did all good things have to end? It had been such a good run. Fang was mentally picturing one of the little boards from the Simpsons that said '12 Days since an Accident' and that number getting pulled down grimly.

"Why does this have to happen?" Fang sighed.

"What's up Drama Queen?" he heard an all-too-familiar voice behind him.

"Shut up," Fang grumbled at Max. He didn't have to turn around to know that she was wearing that infuriating smirk of hers. It had become sort of a habit between the two of them. She would make a sarcastic remark, he would reply, and then she would smirk as if she'd won some fantastically difficult war or battle.

Max had been driving Fang up the wall lately. He couldn't do ANYTHING without thinking about what her. Fang was going to pick up the pizza? Wonder if Max likes pizza? Fang, you're driving down the street? Wonder if Max knows how to drive? Fang you want to play video games? Does Max like video games? It was driving him NUTS.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Max asked curiously.

Fang shot her a look out of the corner of his eyes. Instead of speaking his mind with the somewhat creepy statement of 'You', Fang went with, "If the whole female population likes drama or just the ones I know."

"Oh, it's all of us," Max said firmly, her tone so absolute it left no room for discussion. Fang snorted slightly in amusement and smirked at Max. She stuck her tongue out in retaliation and asked curiously, "So what's going on Fangles?"

Fang glared at Max for the horrendous nickname she'd concocted, probably through the association of Iggy. "One of the stunt doubles is attempting to quit."

"Oh!" Max practically squealed. "This should be GOOD!"

"Why?" Fang asked honestly curious, his head cocked to the side.

Max looked at Fang incredulously and shook her head mockingly. "Oh Fang, poor delusional Fang. It's like this. When a girl puts her hands on her hips, cocks them, and starts turning red like she is," Max nodded pointedly at Lissa. "They are pissed beyond reason. And a girl, a dramatic Hollywood-fueled girl nonetheless, who is in that position in public is going to make the scene to end all scenes. Someone should film this; it's going to be epic."

Fang was in shock. "You got all that from how she's standing?"

"It's a very distinctive position," Max said, matter of fact.

"Apparently," Fang said drily. Max opened her mouth to add on when Lissa's questionable patience finally snapped. Fang groaned again and shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he waited miserably for the two of them to be done with their little episode.

* * *

Max smirked gleefully as she did an internal cackle. However, judging by Fang's peculiar look at her, it wasn't so internal. She loved drama whenever it didn't involve her. It was like her own personal little soap opera. All she needed was popcorn. With another somewhat twisted grin, Max turned her attention to the mental sparring match in front of her.

"You people are terrible!" the red-head Lissa shrieked. "Do you know how many times I've been asked, 'Who the hell are you?' by the freaking casting director?"

"So?" the clipboard-wielding man asked snidely.

"I'm wearing a freaking nametag!" Lissa shouted, pointing at her chest, where Max noted there was indeed a nametag.

"So? Who has time to look for a nametag?" the man Lissa was arguing with, Max had internally dubbed him Bad-Goatee for his terrible beard that just needed to be shaved off , asked in exasperation. And he did have a somewhat valid point.

"She's the one that hired me!" Lissa was rather distressed about this. And Max was going to side with Lissa on this one. She supposed she'd be distressed in Lissa's position too. She turned his attention to Bad-Goatee, waiting for his retort.

"Just because one person doesn't know who you are is by no means reasonable grounds to quit!" Oh, Bad-Goatee with the point. Lissa's turn.

"Your stunts are completely unreasonable!" Lissa shouted, stepping closer and her face turning an even darker shade of red than it was previously. Huh. Max honestly hadn't thought that it was possible, but hey here she was proven wrong. Stranger things had happened.

"How so?" Bad-Goatee sputtered in shock.

"You blew me out of a window!" Lissa shrieked, her hands thrown up in the air dramatically. Max was looking back and forth between the two of them, feeling as if she was watching a tennis or Ping-Pong game.

"That's part of being a stunt woman! It's literally in your job description!" Bad-Goatee shouted right back. Oh, good point. And the retort?

"It is in my job description," Lissa agreed civilly. What? Where the heck did that come from?

"I'm glad you understand," Bad-Goatee said rather smugly, at least in Max's opinion. She saw Lissa's eyes flash dangerously and a part of her was thinking, 'Oh this is so far from done'. And boy was she right.

"But nowhere in my job description does it say anything about getting blown out of building with actual C4 onto a half-inflated air mattress below," Lissa said in a sickly sweet voice. Ohhhh, nice one. How was Bad-Goatee going to respond to that one? Based on the fact that his mouth was just sort of opening and closing in a stupid fashion, he had no response.

"So I'm going to leave now," Lissa said bluntly. "And you WILL miss me." With one more dramatic toss of her hair over her shoulders and her nose in the air proudly, Lissa Riley stalked off the set, the very edges of her hair smoking slightly and the back of her purple designer shirt singed an ugly black color. And she never looked back.

Everyone stood there in stunned silence. Finally, the Director said what everyone was thinking more or less, "Well shit."

The Director's rather ineloquent statement set the whole set abuzz. Everyone was talking and gossiping about the recent departure of one of their stunt doubles. There were so many voices that they all intermingled. Max couldn't make out a single thing anyone was saying. The three basic stories she'd heard were 1. That bitch is so overdramatic. 2. You know she only got on because she slept with someone. 3. Why didn't I think of that?

The third option was really making Max snicker, but she blamed that on her somewhat twisted sense of humor. Max caught Fang listening into some surrounding conversations and she saw a slight smirk on his features. Evidently, Fang's sense of humor was just as twisted as hers. Noted and filed.

Max pursed her lips in thought. If Lissa was Maya's stunt double, who would be the stunt double now? Evidently, that had not been brought up yet because Max was fairly certain there would be more freaking out if it had.

"Not to ruin another girl's perfectly executed dramatic exit," Max started to say loudly, all eyes of the cast and crew members turning to face her. "But if Lissa's gone, who's going to be Maya's stunt double?"

As the awful realization of what having no stunt double implied for their film dawned on, well everyone, they started running around in a panic.

Fang shot a look at Max and murmured quietly in her ear, "You managed to essentially start a mob with an observation. Impressive."

Max shivered slightly at Fang's breath on her neck and she stared straight ahead. "Yeah?" she meant for that to sound far cockier and far less… breathy for lack of a better word.

"Yeah," Fang murmured again.

He started to say something else when he was interrupted by the Director shouting, "Everybody shut up!" It took a couple minutes, but soon the room wide panic calmed down to just a few shuffles and mumbled conversations. The Director brought his hand up to his face and started massaging the bridge of his nose. "Does anybody know where we can get a stunt double on short notice?"

"Can't we just call an agency?" Max heard one of the many PA's ask curiously.

"No, we need a double by tomorrow," the Director said in a surprisingly firm voice that left little room for negotiation. "We're already behind schedule as it is."

The entire set thought hard as to where they would find a double with such little warning. Suddenly, someone in the back, Max couldn't see just who it was, said, "Doesn't she have a twin? Why don't we just use her?"

Oh. Shit.

Max felt, FELT, everyone's eyes turn to stare at her. In a last ditch attempt to save herself, Max made a pointed show of looking around for the mysterious twin in hopes the others would catch on. Apparently they didn't. She even tried shouting and pointing the other direction, "She's over there!"

Oh. Double. Shit.

* * *

Maya saw her twin's eyes go wide and her breathing start to quicken. While normally Maya would attribute both of those to the fact that Fang was standing about six inches behind her and breathing in her ear. However, Maya was going to (correctly) assume that Max's obvious fear and discomfort was more to the fact that she was about to become a stunt double.

With the stunt double crisis solved, the crew and cast went about with their normal routines, filming scenes that didn't involve Lissa or her replacement. Seizing the rare opportunity, Maya walked over to where Max was still standing. With a pointed look in Fang's direction that he immediately picked up on, Maya and Max were left alone. Maya gently took Max and led her over to some chairs by her elbow.

"What's up?" she asked quietly. Max's unfocused eyes snapped over to where Maya was sitting and Maya saw just how scared Max was.

"I can't do this," Max said quickly and definitively.

"Max you were in gymnastics until you were like fourteen and are one of the most resilient people I know," Maya said comfortingly.

Max sighed, "It's not that Maya."

Okay, now Maya was confused. "Then what's got you so scared?"

Max gave her sister the most incredulous look Maya had seen in a very long time. "I once went skydiving at a discount skydiving place in Puerto Rico in the same plane as an eighty-five year old man in a Speedo. I have no fear. "

"Then what's got your panties all in a wad Max?" Maya asked in confusion.

Max bit her lip and mumbled, "Nothing."

* * *

Max bit her bottom lip and avoided looking into Maya's eyes. She needed to get out of Los Angeles and quickly.

* * *

Alright my viewers. I have (somewhat) exciting news! I will be starting a new fic so keep your eyes open and look for it! It's gonna be FUN!

On a similar note, I don't know if any of you are attempting to write a Max Ride fic, but let me know in the comments section or PM me about it and I'll check it out and leave a review. Warning: If I catch grammar or spelling mistakes, I'm going to let you know. But, for those of you, who like me, had the first chapter of about twenty fics on my computer hard drive for like two years before I actually built up the nerve to post anything on here, I present:

ANOTHER SARCASTIC TEENAGER'S FANFIC ADVICE OF THE CHAPTER!

Tip #1:

I'd rather read a fic with a questionable story line but with impeccable (or at least decent) grammar any day of the week.

If you'd like me to stop these tips, please let me know in an angry type review that I may or may not heed. Kinda depends on my mood.

Hasta Lavista!


	12. Dramatic Exit

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

It had been a solid two weeks since Max had first flown, quite literally, back into Maya's life. Somewhere in the four years that Max had been gone, Maya had forgotten just how grounded Max made her feel. Just the other day, Maya had been yelling at a P.A. to get her a cappuccino when Max had whapped her upside the head and called her a very rude name in Italian. Maya had asked what she'd called her and Max translated it to her quietly. The name had Maya blushing anytime anyone mentioned cucumbers.

Maya cringed slightly at the memory and sipped contently at her coffee. For some bizarre reason, she was in a good mood today. A good enough mood to read one of the cheesy tabloids that one a PA had given her when she had been done with it. She flipped through the articles, amused. She read about all of her fellow Hollywood big wigs' going on's. She glanced absently at the cover and had to look back at it again. Suddenly, coffee was sprayed all over as Maya spewed it in shock. Oh holy SHIT!

Maya sprung out of her chair, her coffee abandoned beside her chair, the tabloid grasped tightly in her hand. She had to find Max. NOW. Maya got ready to start sprinting along the sets and rooms looking for her sister, she even tightened her shoelaces. She spun and took a total of three steps towards the back rooms when she ran smack dab into the Director.

"Can I help you?" the Director asked, rather perplexed. "Or do you just enjoy running into people as a recreational activity? Because I do. It's big fun. Highly entertaining."

"Have you seen my sister?" Maya cut off the Director before he could get to any of the really crazy ramblings. They were scary as hell.

The Director furrowed his brow and started to say, "Well, I think-" Whatever else he was going to say is lost to everyone, probably even him.

The Director was interrupted by a loud, "I QUIT!"

Well. That couldn't be good.

Maya and frankly the whole freaking set turned to look at the source of the argument. What they saw would be quite comical if it were to be taken out of context. A furious red-faced red-head was standing with her hands on her cocked hips and her mouth opened wide. She was standing opposite a tall pale man who was waving around a clipboard animatedly.

"You can't just quit!" Clipboard Man shouted back his face turning red too as the argument got heated.

The red-head sneered and said, "Watch me!"

"We've got a contract! You can't walk out on us without fair cause!"

The red-head's face got even redder, if that's at all possible. "Good cause!" she snapped loudly and irritably. "You want good cause; I can show you and your jack ass crew reasonable and good cause, assholes!"

"Oh this should be good," Maya muttered to herself in almost glee. The set had been too damn quiet for too damn long.

* * *

Fang groaned and felt like pounding his head against a cement wall. The set had been so nice lately. No drama, no fighting, no hissy fits, and nothing else that Fang had generally equated with bad things and girls. Why did all good things have to end? It had been such a good run. Fang was mentally picturing one of the little boards from the Simpsons that said '12 Days since an Accident' and that number getting pulled down grimly.

"Why does this have to happen?" Fang sighed.

"What's up Drama Queen?" he heard an all-too-familiar voice behind him.

"Shut up," Fang grumbled at Max. He didn't have to turn around to know that she was wearing that infuriating smirk of hers. It had become sort of a habit between the two of them. She would make a sarcastic remark, he would reply, and then she would smirk as if she'd won some fantastically difficult war or battle.

Max had been driving Fang up the wall lately. He couldn't do ANYTHING without thinking about what her. Fang was going to pick up the pizza? Wonder if Max likes pizza? Fang, you're driving down the street? Wonder if Max knows how to drive? Fang you want to play video games? Does Max like video games? It was driving him NUTS.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Max asked curiously.

Fang shot her a look out of the corner of his eyes. Instead of speaking his mind with the somewhat creepy statement of 'You', Fang went with, "If the whole female population likes drama or just the ones I know."

"Oh, it's all of us," Max said firmly, her tone so absolute it left no room for discussion. Fang snorted slightly in amusement and smirked at Max. She stuck her tongue out in retaliation and asked curiously, "So what's going on Fangles?"

Fang glared at Max for the horrendous nickname she'd concocted, probably through the association of Iggy. "One of the stunt doubles is attempting to quit."

"Oh!" Max practically squealed. "This should be GOOD!"

"Why?" Fang asked honestly curious, his head cocked to the side.

Max looked at Fang incredulously and shook her head mockingly. "Oh Fang, poor delusional Fang. It's like this. When a girl puts her hands on her hips, cocks them, and starts turning red like she is," Max nodded pointedly at Lissa. "They are pissed beyond reason. And a girl, a dramatic Hollywood-fueled girl nonetheless, who is in that position in public is going to make the scene to end all scenes. Someone should film this; it's going to be epic."

Fang was in shock. "You got all that from how she's standing?"

"It's a very distinctive position," Max said, matter of fact.

"Apparently," Fang said drily. Max opened her mouth to add on when Lissa's questionable patience finally snapped. Fang groaned again and shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he waited miserably for the two of them to be done with their little episode.

* * *

Max smirked gleefully as she did an internal cackle. However, judging by Fang's peculiar look at her, it wasn't so internal. She loved drama whenever it didn't involve her. It was like her own personal little soap opera. All she needed was popcorn. With another somewhat twisted grin, Max turned her attention to the mental sparring match in front of her.

"You people are terrible!" the red-head Lissa shrieked. "Do you know how many times I've been asked, 'Who the hell are you?' by the freaking casting director?"

"So?" the clipboard-wielding man asked snidely.

"I'm wearing a freaking nametag!" Lissa shouted, pointing at her chest, where Max noted there was indeed a nametag.

"So? Who has time to look for a nametag?" the man Lissa was arguing with, Max had internally dubbed him Bad-Goatee for his terrible beard that just needed to be shaved off , asked in exasperation. And he did have a somewhat valid point.

"She's the one that hired me!" Lissa was rather distressed about this. And Max was going to side with Lissa on this one. She supposed she'd be distressed in Lissa's position too. She turned his attention to Bad-Goatee, waiting for his retort.

"Just because one person doesn't know who you are is by no means reasonable grounds to quit!" Oh, Bad-Goatee with the point. Lissa's turn.

"Your stunts are completely unreasonable!" Lissa shouted, stepping closer and her face turning an even darker shade of red than it was previously. Huh. Max honestly hadn't thought that it was possible, but hey here she was proven wrong. Stranger things had happened.

"How so?" Bad-Goatee sputtered in shock.

"You blew me out of a window!" Lissa shrieked, her hands thrown up in the air dramatically. Max was looking back and forth between the two of them, feeling as if she was watching a tennis or Ping-Pong game.

"That's part of being a stunt woman! It's literally in your job description!" Bad-Goatee shouted right back. Oh, good point. And the retort?

"It is in my job description," Lissa agreed civilly. What? Where the heck did that come from?

"I'm glad you understand," Bad-Goatee said rather smugly, at least in Max's opinion. She saw Lissa's eyes flash dangerously and a part of her was thinking, 'Oh this is so far from done'. And boy was she right.

"But nowhere in my job description does it say anything about getting blown out of building with actual C4 onto a half-inflated air mattress below," Lissa said in a sickly sweet voice. Ohhhh, nice one. How was Bad-Goatee going to respond to that one? Based on the fact that his mouth was just sort of opening and closing in a stupid fashion, he had no response.

"So I'm going to leave now," Lissa said bluntly. "And you WILL miss me." With one more dramatic toss of her hair over her shoulders and her nose in the air proudly, Lissa Riley stalked off the set, the very edges of her hair smoking slightly and the back of her purple designer shirt singed an ugly black color. And she never looked back.

Everyone stood there in stunned silence. Finally, the Director said what everyone was thinking more or less, "Well shit."

The Director's rather ineloquent statement set the whole set abuzz. Everyone was talking and gossiping about the recent departure of one of their stunt doubles. There were so many voices that they all intermingled. Max couldn't make out a single thing anyone was saying. The three basic stories she'd heard were 1. That bitch is so overdramatic. 2. You know she only got on because she slept with someone. 3. Why didn't I think of that?

The third option was really making Max snicker, but she blamed that on her somewhat twisted sense of humor. Max caught Fang listening into some surrounding conversations and she saw a slight smirk on his features. Evidently, Fang's sense of humor was just as twisted as hers. Noted and filed.

Max pursed her lips in thought. If Lissa was Maya's stunt double, who would be the stunt double now? Evidently, that had not been brought up yet because Max was fairly certain there would be more freaking out if it had.

"Not to ruin another girl's perfectly executed dramatic exit," Max started to say loudly, all eyes of the cast and crew members turning to face her. "But if Lissa's gone, who's going to be Maya's stunt double?"

As the awful realization of what having no stunt double implied for their film dawned on, well everyone, they started running around in a panic.

Fang shot a look at Max and murmured quietly in her ear, "You managed to essentially start a mob with an observation. Impressive."

Max shivered slightly at Fang's breath on her neck and she stared straight ahead. "Yeah?" she meant for that to sound far cockier and far less… breathy for lack of a better word.

"Yeah," Fang murmured again.

He started to say something else when he was interrupted by the Director shouting, "Everybody shut up!" It took a couple minutes, but soon the room wide panic calmed down to just a few shuffles and mumbled conversations. The Director brought his hand up to his face and started massaging the bridge of his nose. "Does anybody know where we can get a stunt double on short notice?"

"Can't we just call an agency?" Max heard one of the many PA's ask curiously.

"No, we need a double by tomorrow," the Director said in a surprisingly firm voice that left little room for negotiation. "We're already behind schedule as it is."

The entire set thought hard as to where they would find a double with such little warning. Suddenly, someone in the back, Max couldn't see just who it was, said, "Doesn't she have a twin? Why don't we just use her?"

Oh. Shit.

Max felt, FELT, everyone's eyes turn to stare at her. In a last ditch attempt to save herself, Max made a pointed show of looking around for the mysterious twin in hopes the others would catch on. Apparently they didn't. She even tried shouting and pointing the other direction, "She's over there!"

Oh. Double. Shit.

* * *

Maya saw her twin's eyes go wide and her breathing start to quicken. While normally Maya would attribute both of those to the fact that Fang was standing about six inches behind her and breathing in her ear. However, Maya was going to (correctly) assume that Max's obvious fear and discomfort was more to the fact that she was about to become a stunt double.

With the stunt double crisis solved, the crew and cast went about with their normal routines, filming scenes that didn't involve Lissa or her replacement. Seizing the rare opportunity, Maya walked over to where Max was still standing. With a pointed look in Fang's direction that he immediately picked up on, Maya and Max were left alone. Maya gently took Max and led her over to some chairs by her elbow.

"What's up?" she asked quietly. Max's unfocused eyes snapped over to where Maya was sitting and Maya saw just how scared Max was.

"I can't do this," Max said quickly and definitively.

"Max you were in gymnastics until you were like fourteen and are one of the most resilient people I know," Maya said comfortingly.

Max sighed, "It's not that Maya."

Okay, now Maya was confused. "Then what's got you so scared?"

Max gave her sister the most incredulous look Maya had seen in a very long time. "I once went skydiving at a discount skydiving place in Puerto Rico in the same plane as an eighty-five year old man in a Speedo. I have no fear. "

"Then what's got your panties all in a wad Max?" Maya asked in confusion.

Max bit her lip and mumbled, "Nothing."

* * *

Max bit her bottom lip and avoided looking into Maya's eyes. She needed to get out of Los Angeles and quickly.

* * *

Alright my viewers. I have (somewhat) exciting news! I will be starting a new fic so keep your eyes open and look for it! It's gonna be FUN!

On a similar note, I don't know if any of you are attempting to write a Max Ride fic, but let me know in the comments section or PM me about it and I'll check it out and leave a review. Warning: If I catch grammar or spelling mistakes, I'm going to let you know. But, for those of you, who like me, had the first chapter of about twenty fics on my computer hard drive for like two years before I actually built up the nerve to post anything on here, I present:

ANOTHER SARCASTIC TEENAGER'S FANFIC ADVICE OF THE CHAPTER!

Tip #1:

I'd rather read a fic with a questionable story line but with impeccable (or at least decent) grammar any day of the week.

If you'd like me to stop these tips, please let me know in an angry type review that I may or may not heed. Kinda depends on my mood.

Hasta Lavista!


	13. Hide and Seek

**Disclaimer: Yup I own nothing.**

* * *

Maya ran though the set, looking for Max. She had left Max to go to the bathroom about ten minutes ago, but when she'd come back, Max had been gone. "Max?" Maya called out as she ducked around people in her way. "Yo Fang, you seen Max?"

Fang looked up from the poker game he was partaking in with Iggy and Gazzy. He looked curious but shook his head. "Why?"

"I can't find her anywhere and earlier today she was acting really weird," Maya explained, concern evident in her voice.

Fang snorted, "Your sister, weird? Yeah, that never happens."

Maya rolled her eyes. "Fang, I'm being serious here. I'm really worried about Max."

"Why?" Iggy asked, looking in the general direction of Maya.

"She looked really scared yesterday," Maya explained, still keeping an eye out for her sister.

This time, Gazzy, Iggy, and Fang snorted and said in unison, "Max? Scared?"

Maya glared at them and folded her arms over her chest. "Guys would it kill you to be serious for twenty minutes?"

"Fine, let's go find your terrifying sister," Iggy groaned dramatically.

Gazzy nodded and admitted, "I've got absolute crap this hand anyway."

"Speak for yourself," Fang grumbled. "I had a Royal Flush." However, Fang tossed in his cards and stood up, helping Iggy up as well, leaving Gazzy to scramble to his feet.

"Well, she has to be around here somewhere," Maya said definitively. "Let's go find her. Split up!" Fang, Iggy, and Gazzy all rolled their eyes but went different directions nonetheless.

* * *

Fang walked slowly through the sets, occasionally calling out for Max. "Max?" He looked underneath the Craft Services table where Max was known to camp out when she was having a bad day.

"Max?" He checked next to the life-size cardboard cutout of the cast members that she was known to drawn funny faces on when she got bored.

"Max?" He checked around the corner from the bathroom where Max and Louis liked to ambush unsuspecting twits with water balloons.

"Max?" he whispered her name up against the bathroom door because he was too much of a weeny to actually go inside.

"Max?" He popped his head out onto the roof, you know just in case.

"Max?" he asked riffling through the costumes lined up on the racks in the makeup department. Finally Fang plopped down on his actor's chair in defeat. He couldn't find Max ANYWHERE.

* * *

Gazzy walked around the back rooms of the set. A few days ago, Max had found out that some of the back rooms had beds and blankets piled up in the corners. Occasionally Gazzy himself had used the beds for a quick nap and he knew that Max was a very large fan of her beauty sleep. Gazzy checked in all of the rooms, poking and prodding at any and all large, mysterious lumps cautiously.

Oh! That lump there looked distinctly like a person! With a head and arms and everything! He bet it was Max, just catching a few z's. Gazzy practically skipped over and rubbed his hands together gleefully. With an evil cackle, Gazzy grasped the blankets and yanked them back.

"Do you mind?" a PA snapped, squinting against the bright lights that Gazzy had flipped on.

"Sorry," Gazzy whispered apologetically as he laid the blankets back overtop the crabby man and crept out the door.

"Some people," Gazzy shook his head and tutted quietly to himself. "Now where could she be?" Gazzy kept searching, looking under blankets and in the closets. The closets creeped him out. Some of the things that were in there were… disturbing to put it nicely. Those didn't look like fully functioning clothes at all. "Max?" Gazzy called into a particularly dark room.

"Hey twerp, scram," an aggravated voice from deep in the room shouted. Having gone completely through all the back rooms on the set, Gazzy was no closer to finding Max than he had been an hour earlier.

"Well that was a perfectly good waste of my time," Gazzy muttered to himself angrily. Gazzy stalked over to where he saw Fang sitting with his head in his hands. Gazzy walked over and plopped down on the chair next to Fang with a sigh. He leant his hand on his hand and asked, "Any luck?"

"Nope," Fang sighed.

"Drat."

* * *

Iggy stalked through the hallways of the set. Well at least he assumed it was angry stalking. It felt like angry stalking, but he wasn't sure if it looked like angry stalking. Sure felt angry though. What were those idiots thinking? How the heck would a blind guy be helpful when trying to find someone? Hello? When did the common sense kick in? Dimwits, the lot of them.

Iggy scowled to himself as he stalked along, completely unaware of where he was going. "Hey watch out!" he vaguely heard someone shout out. However, whatever they were warning him to look out for was lost on the blind man and he kept right on walking. Well, he did right until he felt something splatter on his chest. And then another something. Splat. Splat. Splat. Iggy reached down and felt his chest, his fingers coming away wet and sticky. A quick sniff confirmed that the substance was paint. And from the smell, a rather potent brand as well.

Iggy growled and said with a sigh, "Today just isn't my day." Iggy walked over to where he had heard Fang and Gazzy talking earlier and eased himself up and into one of the empty chairs.

"Any luck Ig?" Gazzy asked when Iggy was situated and comfortable.

"Yes," Iggy said bluntly. He couldn't see it, but he was assuming Gazzy and Fang had perked up. Time to crush that particular hope mercilessly. "And all of it bad."

"Oh," Gazzy sounded like he'd deflated and Iggy almost felt bad for destroying his optimism. He was about to say as such to when Gazzy went on, "Any reason why your shirt is covered in paint splatters?" Iggy let out a strangled and frustrated roar and he swore if he'd been capable of seeing where exactly Gazzy was, he would have whapped him upside the head. As it was, Iggy just exhaled in pure fury. "Right, I'll shut up now," Gazzy said. the three boys sat in silence, each stewing in their own thoughts.

Finally Iggy said, "Hope Maya's having better luck."

* * *

Maya groaned as the last person she had to talk to on the set shook her head. "Sorry Miss Martinez," the dark haired woman said apologetically. "I haven't seen your sister since this morning."

"Alright, thanks," Maya sighed, her hands in her jacket pockets. "Hopefully the other guys are having more luck than me."

* * *

Fang tapped his foot on the leg of his chair impatiently; he was starting to get worried. He nervously scanned the crowds of people moving to and fro on the set, searching for either of the Martinez twins. Finally, he saw a familiar head of blond-brown hair. He sat up eagerly but collapsed back into the fabric of the chair when he saw it was only Maya. "Couldn't find her?" he asked, stating the obvious.

"Nope," Maya sighed as she sat down with a dramatic huff. "You?"

Fang shook his head. "Nope."

All four were quiet until Gazzy broke the silence. To no one in particular, he asked, "Is it possible Max just took a taxi back to her apartment?"

"Maybe," Maya said, perking up. She hadn't thought of that. "Let's go home and check."

"Can I come?" Gazzy asked hopefully. Maya looked at him and weighed her options. She knew that Gazzy and Angel were supposed to be spending the night at their dad's though Gazzy was doing his very best to move out, he was having a very difficult time.

"Alright, you can come. You have any money on you for when we decide we're hungry and stop for food?"

"Yup," Gazzy nodded enthusiastically with a bright grin on his face.

"Good," Maya smiled at the younger boy and nodded towards the parking garage. "Gazzy ride with me, Fang, Iggy, we'll meet you back at the apartment. Good?"

"Yep," everyone nodded and started heading out.

* * *

Fang slammed his foot down on the accelerator. For some reason that he was only just starting to understand, he wanted to get to the apartment first. He wanted to see Max sitting on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table and the clicker in her hand. She'd smirk at him and say something like, "What's got you all worked up Drama Queen?"

Fang nodded and whispered to himself, "She'll be there. She has to be." Iggy shot Fang a look but said nothing. Fang pushed the car just a little faster and soon, but not soon enough, he was parked in the parking garage and riding up to their floor. The elevator was full of tension that Fang didn't even notice, though it had Iggy on edge. Fang was practically bouncing on his feet, wanting so badly to just be upstairs NOW. Finally there was a soft ding and the doors slid open.

Fang flew over to the front door and whipped his key out and shoved it into the lock. He flung the door open and burst into the room. He looked all around, but Max was nowhere to be seen. He poked his head into the kitchen, checking to see if maybe Max had went to grab a snack (which she did rather often) but it was empty.

"Max?" Fang called out into the apartment, his previous hope dwindling away. He was vaguely aware of Iggy collapsing on the couch, but Fang paid him no mind. Fang looked down the hallway, jogging towards the bathroom, hoping the door was closed. But nope, it was wide open and empty.

"Max?" Fang called again, a little more frantically this time. He spun on his heel to see her bedroom door was closed. Hope flared up in his chest once again and he flung open the door. He was hoping against hope that she would be in there half-naked again (not like that you perverts) and that she would scream at him again.

Instead, the room was just as empty as the rest of the apartment. The closet doors were flung open however, and the drawers were hanging open haphazardly. Another odd thing was the fact that the room looked like it wasn't in use. Max's suitcase that Fang had whapped his shin on far too many times was gone. Her clothes that she left in piles around the room were gone. The only thing left that wasn't Fang's was a weird sheet of paper on the dresser.

Fang felt the hope he'd felt from earlier sink like a stone in his chest and settle somewhere near the bottom of his stomach. Nonetheless, he went over and snagged the sheet of paper of the dresser. As Fang's eyes scanned the sheet, it felt like his heart slowed down and froze. When he was done reading, he collapsed on the bed and desolately held the paper in his hands.

In the fog he was in, he heard the front door be yanked open and Maya call out, "Max?" Fang stumbled out of the room and into the living room.

He looked at Maya and felt the weirdest sensation on wanting to curl into a ball and bawl as he choked out, "Max is gone."

* * *

**So My other Story, A Summer With Me, Myself, and I is up and running. My plan is to update once this story, once that story, once this one, and so on and so forth. You guys should go check it out if you want to. **

**Another Sarcastic Teenager's Tip of the Chapter!**

**Self inserts = Not so happy Another Sarcastic Teenager. **

**Some of the one's I've read have been okaaay but a lot of self-insets I've read are just the author writing about themselves hooking up with their favorite characters with little else by way of character development or plot. I'm never going to straight up say don't write a particular story, just try and do it well. :)**

**Yeah, FYI this Chapter was more of a filler chapter. It was important but I actually meant to write a lot of this in the last Chapter and in my haste to update, sort of forgot. A lot of you have been asking about why Max had to leave LA but that information won't be happening until the next update. Just wanted you all to see what was going on from everyone else's perspective.**

**So, what do you all think was the piece of paper? Or what's going to happen next? I want to know your thoughts!**


	14. Maybe the Absolute Truth

**Dudes. Dudets. I provide for you, the ultimate, super awesome, MEGA SUPER CHAPTER OF AWESOMENESS! Prepare yourselves! And remember I don't own Maximum Ride.**

* * *

Max yanked her backpack off the security conveyer belt and slung it over her shoulder. She was tired and cranky and was pretty sure it was her bed time and yet, here she was. She felt an odd sense of déjà vu when she curled herself into a ball in a hard plastic chair in yet another airport. She honestly wanted nothing more than to be sleeping stretched out in Fang's bed, but that couldn't happen. She couldn't get involved in an actual job. She couldn't get weighed down. She couldn't get attached.

Max would be the first to admit openly that she had issues. Not lock her in a padded room with her arms trapped in a strait-jacket sort of issues, but issues yes. Sometime in the second year of travelling, Max had realized that perhaps she may have commitment issues. She couldn't stay in a relationship for longer than a couple months, she hadn't held a steady job since she worked in the ice cream shop in high school, and she hadn't lived in a single place for four years. She wasn't about to start now.

Max pulled her knees tighter to her chest and shivered from something far from cold. Her plane left at 10:30 and a quick glance at her watch showed it was only 8. Crap. 10:30 couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

**8:00**  
**Two Hours, Thirty Minutes Left**

Fang walked to the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. He popped the tab as he paced his way back towards the living room and tipped the can back. "Fang," Iggy said softly. "That's the fourth soda in twenty minutes. Chill out bro." Fang glared at Iggy but said nothing; even when he remembered that Iggy couldn't see him. Fang jumped slightly and started pacing back and forth.

"Fang!" Maya snapped. Fang looked over in hope, his eyes wide. "Stop pacing!" Fang's face fell but Maya saw nothing. For the past five minutes, she'd been searching through flights that were set to leave around 10 or so tonight from the Los Angeles Airport.

Fang looked down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper that had been folded, unfolded, and stared at more times than Fang could count. It was an airplane ticket receipt for a plane set to leave from Los Angeles International Airport at 10:00 p.m. They'd been combing through all the flights leaving, but they were having significant issues. Max must have gotten impatient or something when she was printing off the receipt, because the ink was smeared and impossible to read. The only thing they knew was wherever she was flying to, the city started with a 'T'. Or it might have been an 'F'. They weren't sure. Fang looked at Maya intently, his leg bouncing up and down as he got the sugar high from his soda.

Maya looked up briefly with a pointed glare and she growled, "Knock it off Fang." Fang nodded, his sugar buzz fueled head going up and down so many times that the world became blurry. "Fang!" Maya shouted and Fang stilled immediately. He stayed that way for about a minute, and then he was bouncing again. He was about to stand up and start pacing yet again when Maya said, "Hey I've got something." In an instant, Fang was at her side and staring intently at the computer screen. He tried to read the screen but he couldn't stop moving enough to make out the words.

"What's it say?" Iggy asked crabbily.

"There's a plane leaving from Los Angeles International Airport at 10:30 flying into Tampa Bay tomorrow."

"Is Max on it?" Fang asked quickly.

"I don't know," Maya said with a shrug. "But it's the most likely one that I see."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Gazzy asked curiously. Fang shot the blond-haired boy a look. "Let's get going!"

"We're going in one car," Maya decided quickly. "We need to get to the airport as fast as possible."

"Well what time is it?" Iggy asked. Maya glanced at the clock and said,

"8. It's going to take us about an hour to get into the airport if traffic is good."

"It's a Tuesday," Iggy pointed out. "Traffic shouldn't be all that bad."

"We need to leave now," Fang said urgently, a hint of hysteria creeping into his voice.

Maya looked at Fang oddly and said, "He's right."

"If we take two cars, one of us might get there first and the others can meet us at the airport," Iggy suggested. Maya pursed her lips and thought.

"Come on," Fang said impatiently, his hand already on the doorknob expectantly.

"Alright," Maya finally conceded. "Fang, ride with me. Iggy go with Gazzy and take Fang's car." Fang knew that Maya was testing him. He never let anyone else drive his baby. Heck, he didn't even let people who looked dirty ride in his car, or touch it, or look at it for extended periods of time.

"Sounds good, let's go!" Fang shouted over his shoulder from the elevator, throwing his keys at Gazzy carelessly as he went. Fang saw Maya studying him intently from the corner of his eyes as he watched the light of the elevator slowly descended. When the doors slid open with a soft 'ding', Fang practically flew out of the elevator with Maya walking quickly behind him. When Maya finally slipped into the car, Fang was waiting expectantly, his knee bouncing up and down and his eyes twitching. Maya revved the engine and pulled out while Fang's eyes remained trained on the clock without wavering.

* * *

**8:30**  
**Two Hours Left**

"Come on!" Maya exclaimed, slamming her hands on the steering wheel in frustration. "Could you people go any slower!" Fang was tense in the passenger seat, his knuckles white as he gripped the door handle as tight as he could. Maya bit her lip in frustration and had to use every ounce of her self-control not to lay on the horn as hard as she could. Instead she settled for just slapping the wheel in frustration yet again. Suddenly, the already slow as snail traffic slowed to a complete and utter halt.

"IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" Maya shrieked to the heavens. The one night that Maya needed the roads to be clear and a straight shot to the airport, the universe decided to have three separate accidents because people were freaking twits. Maya exhaled in anger, massaging her face with her hands.

While she was rubbing her face and attempting to stop shrieking at random times, she caught a glimpse of Fang out of the corner of her eyes. She had never seen him look so… devastated for lack of a better term. It baffled her. Fang had only known her sister for a few weeks. How could he have become so infatuated with Max in such a short time? Not even a month ago, Fang was an emotionless rock that Maya didn't even know could laugh. But yet, Max was softening up her roommate. Fang had gone from granite too mushy cheese. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it was well on its way to getting to that point.

"You really like her, don't you?" Maya asked bluntly. Fang stiffened and looked at Maya, his eyes open wide.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said tightly.

"Sure you don't," Maya attempted to chuckle but it came out strangled and forced. Maya looked back at the road and inched her car forward in the standstill traffic. They needed to get to the airport and they were running out of time.

* * *

**8:40**  
**One Hour, Fifty Minutes Left**

Gazzy reclined in the front seat, his music cranked up and the windows vibrating. "This is awesome!" Gazzy shouted to Iggy over a most-likely-offensive rap song.

"It's a little loud!" Iggy shouted back, his hands pressed palms tight over his ears.

"I know isn't it great!"

"Not really!" Iggy winced again as the decibel levels raised yet again.

"Course it is! Fang's got a kicking car!" Gazzy cackled.

"Indeed he does," Iggy agreed. "I'm surprised he's letting you even breathe on it. I've known that guy for months and he's never let anyone else except me in his car. And no one else has ever, EVER, driven it. Consider it an honor grasshopper."

"So what's the deal with Fang and Max anyway?" Gazzy asked, turning the music down to Iggy's immense relief. "Are they a 'thing'?"

"Nope," Iggy said, popping the 'p'. "They're just friends."

"You're sure?" Gazzy asked hopefully.

"Why?" Iggy asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You trying to get in on that?"

Gazzy blushed bright red and mumbled, "Maybe."

"Oh hoo," Iggy chuckled, crossing his arms across his chest.

"She's really hot," Gazzy admitted, drooling ever so slightly.

Iggy rolled his eyes and said drily, "I hadn't noticed."

"Well take my word for it," Gazzy said with absolute confidence. "And she's really nice."

Iggy quirked an eyebrow in disbelief as he snorted, "Are you sure we're talking about the same person?"

"Well, not nice in the normal sense, but she's helped out with Angel more than anyone else and she hasn't tried to kill her yet so that's got to say something," Gazzy amended.

"So do you really like her?" Iggy asked curiously.

"Yeah," Gazzy mumbled bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's… amazing." Iggy rolled his eyes at Gazzy's completely enamored tone.

"Quit daydreaming about Max lover boy," Iggy teased. "How far from the airport are we?"

"A while yet. And it doesn't look like traffic is going to let up anytime soon," Gazzy reported. "And anyway, have you seen Max's body? I guess not, but it's perfection. And she tells the most amazing stories. And she's got the most amazing laugh. And she…" Iggy groaned and sunk his head into his hands. It sounded like he was stuck listening to the love sick ramblings of a love puppy the entire drive to the airport. Shoot him now.

* * *

**8:45**  
**One Hour, Forty-five Minutes Left**

Oh shoot her now. Maya wanted nothing more than to shoot anyone and everyone who got in her way. Granted she didn't have a gun, or a knife, or anything that even remotely resembled a lethal weapon. However, she was 95% sure that she could use the tire jack as a weapon if the need ever arose. And it was getting pretty damn close to that moment. She was annoyed and pissed and sitting in bumper to bumper traffic with a moody teenager that may or may not be capable of murdering someone without batting an eyebrow. You know, if he wasn't already dead. He hadn't moved in a VERY long time. Although, Fang's eye had started twitching mysteriously and Maya was actually starting to get worried.

Fang had never been a talker, like ever. However, as soon as Max had shown up, suddenly he was smiling, laughing, and conversing like any other normal person. He still had his quiet moments to be sure; no one ever talked all the time, except for the Head of the Makeup department who jabbered away so much you practically had to slap her to get her to shut up. But Fang was, if possible, more quiet than before Max had come. Well, maybe he wasn't more quiet, but a different sort of quiet.

Pre-Max, he was quiet but you could just sort of tell he was observing everything going on around him and he was aware of everything and everyone. Now, post-Max, Fang looked completely out of it. His eye was twitching, he was sitting so still Maya was afraid he'd frozen, and the air around him was tense. Maya looked back at the traffic and growled in frustration.

* * *

**9:00**  
**One Hour, Thirty Minutes Left**

Iggy was getting ready to strangle Gazzy. The car hadn't moved in the past five minutes by Iggy's internal time clock and Gazzy wouldn't shut up. Iggy liked Max, honest he did. He thought she was a great friend with a good sense of humor. However, if he had to hear how perfect or hot she was ONE MORE TIME, he was going to strangle Gazzy, no joke.

Suddenly, the nonstop yammering coming from Iggy's left halted and for that he was grateful. However, all too soon it started up again. It appeared Gazzy had only stopped to get air and was now going strong once again. Iggy groaned as Gazzy started his third rendition of, 'And her laugh is so beautiful'.

That was it. Iggy was done. With a feral roar, Iggy launched himself over the cent console and felt around. When his hands were clamped firmly around Gazzy's neck, Iggy started shaking back and forth. "I DON'T CARE!" he shouted hysterically as Gazzy started making strange little gargle noises. Suddenly, there was a loud shriek of a police siren and Iggy heard someone rapping on the glass of the window. Oops.

* * *

**9:15**  
**One hour, Fifteen Minutes Left**

The traffic, slow before, had become downright unbearable as Maya inched forward. It seemed there was some altercation in a car up in front of them and the police had had to intervene. "What the hell?" Maya asked as she inched forward and saw Fang's bright red car surrounded by police cars.

A tall, pale figure was being led over to a cop car in handcuffs and appeared to be shouting, "You've got it all wrong!" A smaller boy standing on the side of the road was gesturing widely and appeared to be pantomiming someone choking and/or throttling him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Maya muttered.

* * *

**9:20**  
**One hour, Ten Minutes Left**

Iggy wanted to groan and bang his head on the roof of the police car he was currently being escorted to. How was he supposed to know that there was going to be a police car behind him when he attempted to throttle Gazzy? And besides, the brat was fine. Everyone was just overreacting. Pansies.

* * *

**9:45**  
**Forty-five Minutes Left**

With a sigh of satisfaction, Maya pulled into a parking space in the airport. "It's about goddamn time," Fang mumbled with his arms crossed across his chest.

"There's no need to by bitchy," Maya said snarkishly. "It's not my fault that traffic was so bad."

"Just get us into the stupid airport so we can find Max," Fang snapped. Maya shot Fang a mean look and resisted the temptation to throttle Fang as Iggy had so clearly done to Gazzy.

"Look, all we have to do is get into the airport which is right… over… there…" Maya trailed off as she saw row after row of cars in between them and the airport. The airport building itself was nothing more than a speck on the horizon. "You have got to be shitting me," Maya spat.

* * *

**9:50**  
**Forty Minutes Left**

Gazzy sat shivering in Fang's car, his hands gripping the steering wheel nervously. His eyes shifted every which way and he kept glancing back over his shoulders. Who was to blame him? He'd just been strangled by someone he considered an ally. No one was safe. No one was sane. Not even him! Especially not him…

* * *

**10:00 **  
**Thirty Minutes Left**

Maya panted as she and Fang finally got in through the airport doors. The mad crush of people was overwhelming to some, but Maya took it all in with ease. With long, purposeful strides, Maya stalked her way through the swarm of people. Even those who didn't recognize Maya parted and let her pass like a hot knife through butter. The determined set of her jaw apparently warned the slightly less oblivious airport travelers that Maya was not one to be messed with. Fang followed Maya quickly though even in his all dark clothes, he looked far less intimidating. Nothing is scarier than a pissed off blond in heels, Maya mused.

As she was stomping forward, well stomping as best she could while her legs felt like jello, Maya was abruptly halted by security. "Sorry ma'am," the biggest guy drawled, not even sort of apologetic, with a thick Southern accent. "No one gets past this point without a ticket."

"Look mister," Maya said with a scowl that the man instantly saw and was weary of. "My sister is about to get on a freaking plane to who knows where and make one of the biggest mistakes of her life. So if you would please, move!"

The man set his jaw in a stubborn clench and said, "No ticket, no getting past, lady." Oh, now Maya was pissed. She took a step forward, just enough inside the man's personal space to make him squirm.

"If you know what's good for you," she ground out. "You'll let me and my friend past."

"Is that a threat?" the man tried to glare intimidatingly and failed epically. Maya had spent her whole life since the womb with Max who had one of the deadliest glares known to human kind. A southern gentleman's glare was next to nothing in Maya's book.

"No it isn't a threat," Maya said dramatically with an eye roll. "Now let me go!"

"No," the man shook his head stubbornly.

Maya sighed in exasperation and finally exclaimed, "Do you know who I am?" Maya wasn't a huge fan of playing the 'I'm famous and rich so bow and kiss my feet' card, but at times it was necessary.

"No ma'am," the security guard wisely sounded somewhat more reserved.

"Maya Martinez," Maya snapped. The security guard's eyes flew open wide and he looked like someone had just socked him in the jaw.

"I'm sorry Miss Martinez," the guard's voice shook and he stuttered over his words. "I'm a big fan, I really am, but I can't let you through." Maya let out a strangled cry of frustration and gripped at her head tightly.

With an aggravated huff, Maya turned on her heel, pushed and shoved her way to the front of an airport ticket booth and bought the first two tickets she saw. She tapped her heeled foot on the ground quickly with her hands on her cocked hips. Finally, the machine spit out two tickets. Maya grabbed both tickets, shoving one of them roughly against Fang's chest as she grabbed his arm and started pulling him behind her. She walked right up to the security guard she'd been battling before and waved the tickets in his face.

"See!" she waggled the flimsy paper a little harder for emphasis. "Tickets! Now let us past!"

"Just a moment ma'am," the security guard said as a dark red blush began to creep up his neck. "Just pass through there and you're good to go."

Maya stomped over to the x-ray machine that the guard had gestured to and walked through it angrily. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Maya stalked back and removed her shoes at the operator's insistence. With a dramatic huff, she went back through.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! Next was the belt that she didn't realize she'd been wearing. Let's try this again.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! The 37 cents from her coffee she'd picked up that morning.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! Yup, her $1000 limited-edition wristwatch thrown into those horrid little plastic trays in an undignified manner.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! "OH WHAT NOW?" Maya all but roared.

"Arms up miss," an emotionless TSA officer ordered. Maya rolled her eyes but lifted her arms nonetheless. After an incredibly uncomfortable pat-down that Maya thought may have something to do that she may have, at least in some people's eyes, 'threatened a security officer'. It really wasn't threatening. Maya preferred to think of forceful encouraging. Really, it was just somewhat angry talking, not even threatening in the slightest.

When the TSA was quite positive that Maya wasn't hiding any C4 underneath her skin tight skinny jeans, he reluctantly waved her through. Maya found his disappointment disturbing. Did this guy WANT to find a wannabe terrorist and get to taze him? Was that the life goal or something?

* * *

**10:16**  
**Fourteen Minutes Left**

"Where are we going?" Iggy asked curiously. He had finally calmed down long enough for the police officers to regain their hearing. Now he was less freaked out and more just interested in where they were going because, hey, it's not like he could just look out the window.

"The police station," the officer in the passenger seat responded curtly.

"Ah," Iggy drew the word out. "NO YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY I'M INNOCENT, INNOCENT I TELL YA!" The officer groaned in unison. This was going to be a long drive.

* * *

**10:22**  
**Eight Minutes Left**

Maya and Fang quickly moved past the security lines and into the hubbub of the airport's main terminal. Evidently a Tuesday night at 10 in the night in the middle of November wasn't exactly a huge travel time as while the Los Angeles International Airport was crowded, Maya could breathe so it was hardly packed.

"Do you see what gate it's at?" Maya asked Fang as they skimmed all the outgoing flights with baited breath.

"Why didn't you just get tickets on the same flight?" Fang asked irritably as he felt yet another pointy elbow dig its way beneath his ribs. "I hate airports."

"You're not the only one," Maya snapped back. "And I was just trying to get us through security, thank you very much."

Fang scowled a little deeper before exclaiming, "There it is! Her flight leaves from terminal B18."

"Where's that at?" Maya asked expectantly. She was met with a halfhearted shrug.

"Like hell if I know," Fang admitted. Maya couldn't resist rolling her eyes. Any other time, she would have whacked Fang upside the head, but right now all she was concentrating on was finding Terminal B18 in the airport and getting her dumbass sister from boarding that plane. They ran and skidded to a stop in front of a directory.

"Where is it?" Maya heard Fang faintly mumble to himself. She didn't even have time to send him mental sympathy.

"Here it is!" Maya called triumphantly, her finger jabbing a spot in the far right corner of the airport.

"And where are we?" Fang asked quickly, committing the terminal location to memory.

"Right… here…" Maya trailed off as she pointed to the little 'You Are Here' star, way on the other side of the airport. Maya's eyes briefly flickered to the clock on the wall. 10:22, though as she watched, it changed to 10:23. Fang and Maya barely made eye contact until they were off running. Their jackets flapped in the wind and they sprinted like they were going for the Gold.

* * *

**10:25 **  
**Five Minutes Left**

There were so many people! They kept touching him and were keeping him from his final destination. Fang honestly couldn't tell you why he was currently running like a bat out of hell to get to Terminal B18. He could only tell you it was for Max. He had no clue what that meant, but he knew that it was the whole truth absolutely. Maybe.

* * *

**10:26**  
**Four Minutes Left**

Every minute that ticked by felt like a death toll. That inaudible 'tick-tock' seeming to count down to something so horrific even Fang himself didn't know what exactly he was dreading. Well, he knew, he was just going to keep lying to himself about it.

* * *

**10:27**  
**Three Minutes Left**

Maya wasn't running behind him anymore. Probably a good thing. What sane person would try and run in three inch heels? Silly actress.

* * *

**10:28**  
**Two Minutes Left**

B12. B13. B14. The terminals were passing him by in a blur of colors. They were going by so slowly, too slowly.

* * *

**10:29**  
**One Minute Left**

B18! There it was! Fang poured on the speed, enough to make any gym teacher proud as a rooster.

* * *

**10:30**  
**Time's Up**

Fang collapsed on the Information desk of the terminal to the visible shock of the flight attendant. "Can I help you?" she asked with genuine concern.

"The plane that's leaving here," Fang said between gasps for air. "Is it still here?"

"No, Hun I'm sorry," the flight attendant apologized. "We stopped boarding ten minutes ago. It's probably pulling out as we speak."

"Oh," Fang said shortly. "Oh. Thanks."

"No problem," the flight attendant as she watched Fang closely to see what he was going to do. All Fang could do was walked around the corner and collapse against the wall, sliding down until he rested on the ground, his hands grasping each other on top of his knees and his head bowed.

He hadn't been fast enough. She was gone to who knows where. Honestly he'd probably never see her again. He felt weird. Like the world was still spinning but Fang wasn't moving anymore. He was just sort of floating away now that the one thing holding him down was gone. He didn't bother to reach up and brush the solitary tear that traced a track down his face.

"Fang?" Fang froze at the sound of his name. In the bottom of his vision from where his eyes were trained on his clasped hands, he saw a shadow move and stay in front of him. He couldn't bring himself to look. He was hoping against hope that it was who he thought it was, afraid to believe it and get his hopes crushed yet again. "Fang." Huh, the voice sounded louder and more commanding.

Sucking in a deep breath and holding it, Fang slowly looked up at whoever was crouching a few mere inches from him. Black eyes met brown. Her blonde head was cocked to the side, a quizzical look on her have as she asked, "Fang, what are you doing here?"

Fang found he couldn't say anything, his mouth had gone dry. Instead, he went on instinct alone and he shifted forward, drawing Max into a tight hug. He buried his head in her shoulder and just held on as if he let go, she'd disappear. In his eyes, she would if he did, so he just gripped tighter. Max froze as Fang wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. Finally she lifted her arms up and awkwardly pat him on the back.

* * *

**10:32**

"Stupid heels," Maya muttered to herself as she walked to B18, stepping gingerly. She'd rolled her ankle pretty badly back there and it hurt like a son of a bitch. When she rounded the corner, she saw a sight that was strange. Fang was half-crouching, half-kneeling and hugging Max, his hands grasping her shoulders tightly. Max was crouching on the ground, patting the dark-haired boy unsurely.

Maya felt an explosion of happiness when she saw that her sister hadn't left and was still here. She wanted nothing more than to run over, hug Max and then slap her on the head for scaring her so much. Maya was fully prepared to do so, too. However, first she turned around and pointedly got a drink of water. When she'd been watching Max and Fang, it felt like she'd been intruding on something, something that was only theirs.

* * *

**Alright people, this chapter was a whopper and I hope it was worth it. We got everyone's point of view in here, Max's, Maya's, Gazzy's, Iggy's, and Fang's. Really this was a productive chapter. I tried a new writing style. I'm not going to use it all that often, if ever again, but I felt the dramatic count down was just too perfect to pass up. Also, yet another hint of characters to be introduced to us all. Next chapter, expect appearances from our tenacious paparazzi, Brigid, our favorite incorrectly named devil child, Angel, and a new friend. Can you guess who and how and where?**

**This story's at over 5,000 views and one day got 600+ hits alone. My goal for this story is to have 1,000+ views on one day and 100 reviews. So, here's hoping!**

**And here's your tip!**

**Your summary is more important than a lot of people realize. Any spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes are already chalked against you. And I really don't like ever seeing, 'Story is better than the summary, I promise!' I won't click on this story 99 times out of 100. If your story is good, tell me why. The summary is when you get to show off your story and make it seem epic. Would you eat something that looked like it had been stepped on but the chef promised that it tastes better than it looks? A lot rides on that summary so make it good!**

**See yas!**


	15. Are you Breathing?

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING, PEASANTS**

* * *

Fang felt another smile quirk at his lips as he looked to his right. Max was sleeping peacefully, her head resting against the window, her mouth opened slightly with just the thinnest line of drool at the corner of her lips. She was snoring softly, her nose whistling softly whenever she exhaled and a few stray hairs moved back and forth with each breath.

Fang was baffled at what he'd felt at the airport. Despair seemed too easy a word, like it didn't encompass everything it needed too. It felt like the world had stopped moving. Was there a word for that? If not, he was making up one. Wonder what sort of word, noun or adjective? Or maybe a verb…Fang was brought out of his thoughts by Max mumbling something in her sleep. Fang had no idea what language it was even in. Still, it was cute.

That mere thought almost made Fang slam on the breaks and bring the car to a screeching and shuddering halt. He recovered just in time to have the car jerk only slightly. Max muttered again and shifted in the passenger seat, but she didn't wake up. Cute. CUTE. Since when did a guy named FANG use the word CUTE? It was illogical and nonsensical, and… surprisingly accurate.

At least now that Fang thought about it, it was. Fang supposed that in the right light Max might be considered pretty. What with her wavy blond hair and chocolate brown eyes, and those few freckles that you could barely notice bridging her nose, and her face-splitting grin, and her perfectly straight white teeth except for that one tooth on the bottom jaw that was ever so slightly crooked, and… he's rambling isn't he? He felt like he was rambling. And it wasn't just her face that was pretty, it was just everything. Oh lord he sounded like a lovesick puppy.

Max yawned widely and rolled slightly, her head tilting closer to Fang. Fang felt his lips stretch in another grin and he had to seriously resist reaching out to brush her hair behind her ear. For some reason, he got the distinctive feeling that that would be stretching the limits and the borders they had laid down. Although ever since Fang had seen Max staring at him quizzically in the airport terminal amidst dirty carpet and old gum rubbed into the graying floor, Fang had felt like the borders had become blurry. Max's lines were probably set in stone, drawn with permanent markers, with blinking warning signs when someone even breathed too close to the lines. This stupid attraction thing sucked ass.

* * *

Max leaned her head against the cool glass of the window, attempting to cool down the searing heat that had rushed to her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Fang glance at her again, that infuriatingly adorable smirk that looked far happier and gentler than she remembered on his face. It was the fourth time in a very short time that Max had caught Fang glancing her.

Of course she was faking being asleep. She really had been out cold originally, but she had jerked awake when Fang had randomly slammed on the breaks. She had kept her eyes closed while she contemplated why she wasn't in a cramped airport seat, no doubt next to some smelly touch feely person and was instead driving home in a movie star's Corvette with said hot movie star smirking at her.

Max couldn't remember why she hadn't boarded that plane. It had been the situation from London all over again. But this time, Max had made the other choice. And from the weirdest reason, when she saw Fang look up at her with guarded hope in his dark eyes, she'd felt like she'd made the right one. The stupid lines between friend and more than friends weren't so cut and dry anymore. Which sort of sucked. Like, a lot.

Max rolled her head to the side and just observed Fang through her slightly cracked eyelids. His dark hair was messier than usual and his dark eyes were slightly rimmed with red. She took in his every feature, trying to figure out what it was that intrigued her. Sure, the guy was hot. But Max had met a lot of hot guys in her travels, and more than a few of them had even hotter accents. She'd had no problems leaving them, any of them. So what was it about a normal, albeit famous and rich but otherwise normal, guy from the place she spent four years running from that kept drawing her in? It was infuriating to say the least that Max couldn't get a mental grasp on this.

Max let her eyes close the final millimeter as she allowed herself to fall into a blissful sleep. Maybe then she could figure out what was going on.

* * *

Gazzy sat crossly in the passenger seat of Maya's car. They were on their way to go pick up Iggy from the police station, despite all of Gazzy's protests. "He tried to choke me!" he said yet again, in a desperate attempt to get Maya to divert the car's course.

"You've mentioned," Maya commented drily with her hands set like concrete on the steering wheel.

Gazzy crossed his arms over his chest with a dramatic "Harumph," and said nothing else for several miles. Maya relished the silence but all too soon it was over. "So… where's Max?" Gazzy asked a little too eagerly.

Maya sighed and said, "With Fang Gazzy, just like the last two times you asked."

"Oh," Gazzy deflated a little before he perked right back up. "Will she be at the set tomorrow?"

"Gazzy," Maya said curiously, getting a fairly good idea on just why Gazzy was asking so many freaking questions. "Do you like Max?"

"Of course I like Max," Gazzy snorted derisively, as if it was the most obvious and common thing in the world. "Don't you?"

Maya's eyes flashed dangerously, "Gazzy. That's not the question I asked."

Gazzy looked anywhere but at Maya as he admitted sheepishly, "Yeah okay, so I like her. It's not like it's a big deal."

"Oh yes it is," Maya said coldly. She had not spent the past few weeks nudging her two roommates together with somewhat subtle hints to have her well-crafted plans ruined by an overzealous hormonal teenage boy. "Now listen here you brat," Gazzy looked shocked at the change in tone. "You are a teenager, a snot nosed brat, and a kid. You don't have a shot with my sister, not now, not ever, you understand?"

Gazzy's face turned red with anger and he snapped, "You don't know that. And I'm not a kid, I'm eighteen years old."

"Listen Gaz," Maya's tone softened slightly. "I know that you think you like her. Just trust me on the fact that it's not going to work out. I'm trying to do you a favor and keep you from chasing after a heartbreak, alright?"

"How do you know Max is a heartbreak?" Gazzy asked defiantly, still trying to keep his dream alive.

"She's been one since we were in high school," Maya said honestly. "She's crossed Africa and Europe and left shattered hearts in her wake." Gazzy was silent with this revelation.

Eventually he asked quietly, "Is there really no chance?"

Maya spared a sympathetic glance in Gazzy's direction as she said, "Not with Max." Gazzy nodded and let his chin sink to his chest. Maya supposed that the slightly vindictive feeling in her chest wasn't inaccurate and she flipped the radio on to drown out the now oppressive silence. It was going to be a long drive to get Iggy back.

* * *

Iggy whistled slightly as he ran his knuckles along the metal bars of the cell. He made his voice as deep as he could and sang, "Nobody knows the trouble I've seeeeeeen. Nobody knnnnnows my soooorrrow." He was all set to start the second verse when someone from his left, Iggy could only assume it was a police officer seeing (or not seeing as the case may be) that he was in a police station, shouted out, "Would you shut up!" Iggy was silent before singing in more hushed tones, "Nobody knows the trouble I've seeeeen…"

* * *

Fang pulled into the apartment's parking building and gently rolled the car to a stop. He slipped the keys from the admission slot and looked over at Max. Her head was tilted back and she had yet to stir or rise from her slumbering position the entire ride home. He couldn't bring it in himself to shake her cruelly awake so he slid out of the car and opened the passenger side door.

He eased his arms underneath her knees and behind her shoulders. With a slight grunt, he hefted her up and cradled her to his chest. Max whimpered slightly in the cooler air outside the car but stopped when she was up against Fang. Max mumbled something in her sleep and for a second Fang was deathly afraid she was going to wake up. If she did, she'd want an explanation that Fang didn't have. Fortunately, Max didn't stir and merely buried her face into the planes of Fang's abs. He chuckled softly and started to make his way over to the elevator.

* * *

Max felt the warmth she had been enshrouded in leave her for a split second and she whimpered. However, the cool was quickly replaced with comforting warmth. Max burrowed further into the warmth while mumbling that even she herself wasn't sure what it was. The warm hard thing eventually started moving and Max vaguely felt like she was swinging side to side but she knew instinctively that she was safe.

* * *

It took him several tries, but Fang was finally able to get the stupid door knob to turn without dropping Max on her head. Fang did his best to navigate the dark living room, managing to bang his shin on various furniture three times accompanied with strangled curses, but it took him a lot longer with Max in his arms. When he finally found Max's (previously his) room and the light switch inside, he breathed lightly in relief.

He gently deposited her sleeping form on the bed and turned around to go crash on the couch. However, something stopped him. Not metaphorically, but rather physically. Max's fist was balled up in his shirt and he couldn't move without waking her up. Fang was left with a bit of a conundrum. Either he woke Max up and most likely got punched in a random extremity or be caught with her in the same bed (again!) and get punched in a random extremity in the morning. So the real question here was did he want to get punched now or later?

With a resigned sigh that wasn't quite resigned enough, Fang slipped in beside Max in the bed and let her curl up into his abdomen to her little heart's desire. He closed his eyes and desperately hoped that wherever Max decided to punch, she'd have mercy.

* * *

A little past one o'clock, Maya trudged into the apartment, Iggy and Gazzy bickering behind her. She'd stopped listening about forty minutes ago but what she could gather from the conversation, Gazzy was (understandably) yelling at Iggy for trying to choke him and Iggy was arguing that Gazzy (most likely) deserved it. How they had managed to go on about the same thing for the past hour and a half, Maya wasn't really sure.

She saw Fang's keys dangling on the hook so she assumed that he was in the bathroom or something as his couch was distinctly empty. She left Gazzy and Iggy bickering in the living room, sleeping arrangements were their problem thank you very much, and started down the hallway. She heard Max's soft snoring emanating from her room, but a second sound made Maya pause. A quick glance to her right confirmed that the bathroom was wide open and noticeably void of anyone, particularly her dark-haired coworker. Her curiosity piqued, Maya slowly cracked the door to Max's room open, wincing slightly as the door creaked softly and poked her head inside.

What she saw almost made her go; "Awwww," but she held her tongue. Max and Fang were both curled up and intertwined, Max's head resting on Fang's shoulder as he was hogging the only pillow on the bed, Fang's arms wound tightly around Max's waist, and their legs tangled up. Both occupants were snoring gently. Maya whipped out her cellphone and snapped several pictures quickly with the promised whisper of, "Blackmail!"

She grabbed a spare blanket form the closet and gently laid it overtop the two, hoping she wouldn't disturb their slumber. The only reaction was for Max to snuggle closer to Fang and for Fang to pull Max just a little bit closer. Maya crept out of the room, gently shutting the door behind her and headed down the hall to her room with an arguably evil grin gracing her features.

* * *

Max woke up first with a jaw-cracking yawn and she attempted to do her traditional arm stretch. However, she was stopped. Max actually opened her eyes just a little farther before they flew wide open in shock. Lying opposite her with his arms wound tightly around her waist was a certain dark-haired movie star. Max resisted the urge to open her mouth and shriek and instead gently shook Fang awake. He mumbled something about "Five more minutes?" before pulling her closer and nuzzling the top of her head.

Nice as it was, Max really needed- wait. Nice? What was she thinking? Sure she liked the feeling of having Fang's muscular arms wrapped around her and waking up with him beside him but that was completely beside the point. She wanted; no NEEDED him to get off so they could pretend this never happened.

"Fang," she whispered this time as she shook him.

He groggily came to, his eyes seeing her but not registering who she was as he mumbled, "Wha?"

"Fang you need to get off me," Max tried to wriggle out of his grasp. Fang's eyes flew open wide as he realized in just how compromising of a position they had been in. He struggled to untangle himself from the mass of the blanket and Max's legs. When he finally was able to scramble and spring off the bed, he regarded Max with a guarded look.

Max rolled her eyes at his stupidity and said, "It never happened, alright?" Max swore she saw a flash of hurt go through Fang's eyes but she quickly dismissed it when he nodded quickly. "Now let's go and get ready. I've got to look my best for when I'm blown into smithereens today. Fang chuckled slightly and left the room to give Max time to get changed.

* * *

Maya smiled at her coworker and sister with a conspirator's grin. "How was last night?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Max rolled her eyes, but there was no denying the light blush on her cheeks. Maya saved her sister from further embarrassment when she said," Alright Max, let's get going. We've got to get you into makeup. Eat on set. Move, move, move!"

* * *

"Max, this is Monique. Monique, this is Max," Max thought she heard her sister say somewhere in the background. The reason that she could barely hear her twin was because of the woman in front of her. Max would guess that she was maybe a year or two younger than herself and very pretty with dark skin and darker hair. However, the thing that Max noticed most was this woman's, Monique's, mouth. And the reason was pure and simple. It was moving a mile a minute. Max wasn't even sure she was breathing. She could barely make out the woman's words, but she swore she heard the phrases, 'Maya's sister', 'new stunt table', 'so much prettier', and the phrase, 'Ohmygosh' (all one word of course) uttered more than ten times.

Max was saved from the torrent of questions that she didn't have time to answer by Maya practically shouting, "Nudge!"

The woman looked sheepish and she took a deep breath before saying in a much slower voice, "Hi, my name's Monique, though most people around here just call me Nudge. I'm the make-up artist in charge of Maya and all her stunt doubles, which means you now."

Max smiled and said "Hi." Before she could blink, Nudge had her sitting in a chair and what felt like twenty different make-up… things. Maybe they were brushes or mascara, or what the hell were those and why were they coming towards her face? The entire time that Nudge was attacking Max's face with miscellaneous make-up utensils, she was talking. Nonstop talking all the time. It was kind of terrifying.

Nudge spun Max around and bent her backwards. With her nonstop jabbering, Nudge massaged copious amounts of shampoo into Max's hair. Not even ten minutes later, Max was being spun yet again as she was placed underneath those bulbous hair dryer things.

As she was waiting not even sort of patiently for her hair to dry, Max finally grew so bored that she required some form of entertainment. Her standards finally dropped until she was forced to grab one of those trashy gossip magazines. She flipped through a few of the pages, skimming the words but not really reading them. As Max flipped through the pages she found an uncommonly large amount of pictures of Maya. And Fang. Curious despite herself, she flipped to the cover and let out an undignified shriek, "Maya!" On the cover was a picture of Max and Fang laughing together with the headline, 'WALKER AND MARTINEZ FINALLY GET TOGETHER!'

* * *

**So you all finally get to know what was on that magazine cover. Last chapter I may have lied. I said that you'd see Brigid, Angel, and a new character. You got 1 of 3. Close enough?**

**Hee hee. Sorry it's taken so long. My B.**

**See yas!**


	16. You Want Me to What?

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. **

* * *

Maya ran through the set towards the makeup and hair department. Someone had shrieked her name loudly and Maya would bet all of her money that it was Max. She of course had no idea WHY Max was shrieking at her, but she was and that generally meant run to find out what's wrong. She skidded around a corner and saw Max sitting under a hair dryer with a horrified expression frozen on her face. "What's wrong?" Maya gasped as she bent forward to rest her hands on her knees. "Whew, I'm pooped. I really need to work out more."

Max completely ignored Maya's tiredness as she pointed angrily at the magazine and all but growled, "What the hell is this?"

"Looks like a normal skeevy tabloid they sell in abundance at grocery stores. What of it?" Maya asked as she straightened up.

"Look who's on the cover," Max ground out, her teeth clenched together tightly.

Maya grabbed the offered magazine and scanned the cover quickly. And then read it again. And one more time for good measure. "I see," Maya said calmly as she lowered the flimsy paper and regarded Max. "WHAT THE HELL DO THEY MEAN 'FINALLY TOGETHER'?"

"Really," Max asked incredulously. "My face is plastered on the cover of almost every celebrity gossip magazine in the country and all you can worry about is the speculation of your love life?"

Maya scowled at Max and said grumpily, "Well it's not like they think it's you or anything. They think that Fang and I have 'finally hooked up'." Maya quoted as she skimmed the article inside.

"Who's finally hooked up?" Fang asked curiously as he popped his head into the tent. He wouldn't tell anyone, but Maya had a fairly good idea that he'd been out looking for Max.

She was still reading the article as she responded automatically, "You and me."

"You and I," Nudge corrected Maya's grammar as she butted her way into the conversation. "And who has Maya hooked up with?"

"No one," Maya sputtered.

"Me," Fang answered at the same time.

"Who's Fang shacking up with?" Iggy asked curiously, his head cocked to the side.

"No one," Max repeated.

Maya rolled her eyes and snorted, "Me, apparently."

"Fang," Iggy chided, only half joking. "We made a pact dude."

"There was a pact about sleeping with me?" Maya asked with a tinge of malice lacing her words. Iggy, wisely, decided not to answer.

"When did this happen?" Nudge all but squealed, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

"The pact?" Iggy asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Nudge shook her head, "No, Maya and Fang getting together."

"It didn't," Maya snapped at Fang, her arms across her chest.

"Then who did Fang hook up?" Iggy asked in confusion.

"No one," Maya signed. "At least not that I'm aware of." As if on cue, Iggy, Maya, Max, and Nudge all swiveled their heads and stared at Fang.

Fang looked around obliviously for a moment before he realized why they were staring at him and he said, "Oh, no, I'm SO not having this conversation with you all." Nudge and Iggy looked away with matching scowls but Maya shot Fang a look that practically screamed, 'YOU SHALL TELL ME ALL THAT YOU KNOW!' Fang shivered in response.

"So what the hell is going on anyway?" Nudge asked her eyes wide with false innocence.

"A paparazzi snapped a picture of Max and Fang out together and thought it was me. Apparently everybody thought that Fang and I were going to get together soon and this picture," Maya waved the magazine in her hand dramatically. "Is the proof they've been waiting for."

"Were they on a date?" Nudge asked, bouncing in anticipation.

Finally, Max broke into the conversation, "No we were not!"

Everyone turned to look at the grumpy stunt woman who was pouting dramatically under the hair blower. Iggy was the one who broke the silence by asking, "Then what were you doing?"

Fang was the one who answered, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, "We were out getting breakfast before heading off to set. It was just two friends getting food, nothing more, I promise."

Max nodded in agreement, right up until Nudge shrieked, "Don't move!"

Max stilled and asked grouchily, "So the people that write every tabloid magazine in the country thinks that Maya and Fang are a 'thing' when in reality it's me and Fang who are a thing except the thing isn't a real thing and is just a friend sort of thing." Iggy, Nudge, and Maya all looked confused with their attempts to follow Max's train of thought. Fang, however, was nodding.

"Exactly," he smirked slightly at Max who stuck her tongue out back at him.

The other two that could actually see their interaction watched with raised eyebrows and knowing looks. "Are you sure this is just a friendship sort of thing?" Nudge asked incredulously.

"Yes," Max and Fang said in unison.

There was even more silence until Iggy said, "Now that was creepy."

Fang and Max both rolled their eyes and Max asked, "So what are we going to do?"

"Absolutely nothing!" the disturbingly chipper voice of the Director cut right through their conversation. Every one jumped slightly, Max yelping as her head came in contact with the hot driers in the hair blower.

"When the hell did you get here?" Maya asked the question on everybody's mind.

"Not important," the Director waved his hand flippantly in the air.

Maya looked at the director oddly before she asked, "What do you mean we're not going to do anything about this?" She shook the magazine again.

"Well," the Director said slowly, sounding surprisingly lucid. "The more buzz that is created about the movie the better. And nothing gets the paparazzi, and more importantly the public, buzzing like a good old fashioned love affair. And this," the Director nodded to the magazine in Maya's hand. "Is perfect."

Maya pursed her lips, surprised at just how… not crazy the Director sounded. There was, however, a flaw in the Director's plan. "But it's not me," Maya reminded him pointedly.

"Doesn't matter," the Director grinned widely. "All you and Nick have to do is go on a few highly publicized dates and then when we're done filming, break up in a loud, dramatic manner."

Maya blinked a few times as Fang looked just as gob smacked as she did. Finally she said, "Yeah, no."

"Why not?" the Director asked, his eyes wide and his bottom lip quivering.

"Because I'd never date her/him!" Fang and Maya exclaimed at the same time. They both shot each other a glare but other than that they said nothing.

"Well," the Director deflated for just a moment before he perked right back up. "We don't need you," he nodded pointedly at Maya. "Because we have her." As one, the entire group turned to look at the girl behind them. Maya snorted when she saw that Max had gotten born and started flipping through another magazine. Her legs were crossed and she was cupping her chin with her right hand. Max turned a page and looked up briefly, only to see five people staring in her direction.

"What?" she asked curiously.

* * *

Max shook her head vehemently. "I'm not doing this," she repeated for what felt like the millionth time.

"Please," the Director begged yet again, his hands clasped together. He was kneeling on the ground dramatically and his eyes as wide and innocent as possible.

"No," Max shook her head again, her arms folded across her chest and her eyes narrowed. "There's no way in hell that I'm going to date that block of ice." For dramatic effect, she shot Fang a knowing glare. He raised an eyebrow and Max saw the corner of his mouth quirk up ever so slightly.

"Why not?" the Director whined pitifully.

"Yeah Max," Fang said with a smirk. "Why not?"

Max felt her blood boil and all she wanted to do was walk over and sock Fang across the face. If she had been anywhere but in the US where they actively and enthusiastically pursed people who went around punching people in the face, she would have socked Fang a good one. In other countries, most people didn't even blink if you went up and hit someone, as long as you had probable cause. Except for Canada. They frowned on punching people in Canada. But Max digressed.

"All he ever does is smirk!" Max insisted, a challenging smirk of her own alighting her features. Fang saw the challenge and yet another smirk of his own stretched his mouth wide.

"So?" the Director asked belligerently.

"He insists on always driving!" Max went on. Everyone gathered collectively raised an eyebrow. However, Max was apparently far from done. "And refuses to eat anything sweet. And he snores. And he's a couch hog. And he has terrible taste in cartoons. And… why are you all looking at me like that?"

Everyone was looking at Max with disturbing looks that just seemed to be mocking her for some reason. "I thought you said that it was just a friendship thing," Nudge said with her eye brow quirked so high, Max was surprised the thin black line of hair didn't raise straight off her face.

Max looked at her and said rather uncertainly, "It is."

It was quiet for a moment before Iggy said what everyone was thinking, "Sure doesn't sound like it."

"What do you mean?" Max was confused.

Nudge looked at Max in disbelief. "Things like snoring and his choice in TV shows and him being a couch hog are kind of something only his girlfriend would know."

"Really?" Max asked in surprise. Now that she thought about it, it did make sense, she'd just never thought about it that way with Fang. Ever since she'd met him, he'd always just been Fang. Quiet, dark, and mysterious, but Fang nonetheless. They hadn't known each other long, but it felt like they'd been best friends since they were little kids. What she knew about him she just... knew.

"Yup," Nudge nodded.

"Huh, who knew?" Max muttered. "But I'm still not dating this rock for emotions."

"You don't have to actually date him," Maya finally broke into the conversation. "Just pretend like you are."

Max opened her mouth to protest when the Director interrupted her, "It'll be perfect. All you and Nick have to do is walk around, hold hands, smile occasionally, and boom you're done."

"Look, it's not the difficulty I'm protesting," Max tried to explain.

The Director cut her off yet again, "If you do this I'll double your salary."

Everyone, even Maya looked surprised. "Can you do that?" she asked.

The Director shrugged and said, "No one's told me I can't yet. I say go for it."

Max bit her lip and squinted as she thought. Double the money she was already making wasn't a half bad offer. Wait. She didn't even know how much she was making now. That would probably be good information to have.

"Out of curiosity Director Nut-job," the Director scowled at Max's nickname. "What is my salary now?"

The Director's face lit up and he started fumbling around for his phone. "I have it right here." He whipped out his smartphone and accompanying stylus and started tapping rapidly on the screen. A few taps later and the Director turned the screen around to show the figure to Max.

Her eyes flew wide comically and she started choking and sputtering. When she finally regained enough motor sense, she coughed, "Are you kidding me?"

"Why is it not enough?" the Director asked in concern.

"That's more than I've made in the past year in a half! I mean, even the original salary is massive."

The Director looked at Max strangely and said slowly, "This is the original salary. This is what's going to get doubled."

Max's jaw dropped open and she felt like she was going to faint. "So you're going to give me double this?"

"Yup."

"Just to date that stick in the mud?"

"Indeed."

Max was silent for a few moments before she finally said, "I'll do it."

* * *

**Well, that's it. Max and Fang together. Go ahead, yell and or squeel. Let me know what you thought in the review section.**


	17. Saved by Mini Golf

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally nothing. It's all loaned. **

* * *

Fang listened to the Director and Max argue back and forth on if Max was going to be the Director's new stunt monkey for his rather… explosive purposes and his new promo monkey. Fang huffed in indignation when Max repeatedly said that she wouldn't be his girlfriend. Even if technically Fang had never asked her to date him and it would only be for movie promotional purposes but still… it would've been nice. Or at least she didn't have to be so damn enthusiastic when saying no.

She made some valid points, true, but Fang wasn't going to go there mentally. And he definitely wasn't going to say anything about how absolutely adorable she looked when she was furious and arguing. Even her ears turned red. And he definitely didn't notice the way her nose would scrunch up or her eyes would narrow or when she was thinking up another point she would bite her lower lip. Nope. He didn't notice that at all.

What he did notice was that his heart rate seemed to be elevating. Stupid hormones. That's pretty much what Fang had decided to blame this whole sudden attraction to Max thing on. Not that it was really all that sudden. And now the Director was basically setting the two of them up… and Max was trying to talk her way out of it. Damn. Damn. DAMN. Girls were cold.

Fang's buried insecurities were resurfacing at quite an alarming pace. Did he smell funny? Had he been sexist in her presence (he'd thought that he'd been controlling that)? Had he farted more than was strictly necessary? WHAT COULD HE HAVE DONE? Was Mother right? Was he just not cut out for this whole dating thing? Should he remain celibate and alone for the rest of his life? Is this the universe telling Fang what he should do? WAS THIS THE SIGN?

Fang's internal monologue was interrupted when he heard Max saying, "I'll do it."

"Yes, we get it," Fang sighed. "I'm disgusting and emotionless and-"

"Fang," Max interrupted.

"Clearly I was not meant to be someone's fake boyfriend-"

"Fang," Max tried again.

"Maybe I should just go be a monk or priest or something like that because really-"

"Fang!" Max practically shouted.

Fang's eyes widened and he looked at her, baffled, and asked, "What?"

"I said I'd do it, okay?"

"Oh, you did?" Fang sputtered in shock. He clearly had missed that part of the conversation. "When?"

"Just now," Max said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Oh. Well then… good," Fang was cursing his inarticulate nature. Never before had Fang really been jealous of all of those silver-tounged liars, but right here and right now, he'd probably give his left arm to be able to form an intelligible sentence. Well… maybe Iggy's left arm. While Fang was having another conversation in his head; he didn't notice Max staring at him oddly before shaking her head. Nope. Fang was off in his own little dream world.

"So," the Director was either oblivious to the awkward atmosphere around him, or he honestly just didn't care (with crazy people it's rather hard to tell some days) as he babbled on, "Tonight will be your guys' first date. I expect a two page report on how it went at 9 tomorrow."

"Date?" Fang sputtered. "What do you mean 'date'?" He hadn't thought that if he and Max were to 'date' he'd have to take her on actual dates. You know, in PUBLIC.

Max, however, appeared to be on a much different wavelength as she yelled, "Report?!" The Director ignored both of them as he skipped, quite literally, out of the room and off to terrorize some PA's somewhere.

"Date?" Fang sputtered again, though this time more to himself than at any one in particular.

"No shit Sherlock," Max muttered with an eye roll as she followed the Director off to wherever the hell he was going.

"Date?" Fang repeated again, although at this point everyone in the room previously assumed that he had finally snapped, hey it was bound to happen at some point, and had left him alone. "DATE?"

* * *

Maya was sitting at the kitchen table, her lips pursed in absolute concentration as she tried her very hardest to scoop up the last piece of Captain Crunch. The damn thing kept slipping just away from her spoon. "Do you know where Fang and Max are?" Iggy asked curiously from his position from across the table. He hadn't been on set for the rather… dramatic gathering and subsequent dating announcement of Fang and Max.

Maya glanced up at Iggy and quirked her lips in a smile that Iggy couldn't see and she chuckled, "Oh they're both getting ready for their date." Iggy started choking and hacking on his beer. Maya snickered and watched while Iggy hacked and started pounding on his chest.

Finally, he managed to cough out, "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, it's a rather long story involving a tabloid misunderstanding and a promotional stunt for the movie," Maya explained as she snagged Iggy's beer and took a swift swig. Iggy pouted and blindly groped for it back. Maya handed it over with an unseen eye roll and explained the whole story to Iggy, slowly.

"Well… shit," Iggy whistled as the story was done. "That's impressive."

"Indeed," Maya nodded sagely, leaning back and resting her feet on Iggy's lap under the table. Iggy shifted his legs slightly so that she had more room to wiggle her toes that Maya capitalized on.

"So where are they going?" Iggy asked as he unknowingly mimicked Maya as he leaned back in his chair as well.

"I think Fang mentioned something about Arachi's," Maya informed her blond footrest.

Iggy whistled again and said, "Oh ho-ho, that's one hell of a fancy-shmancy place."

"Um-hum," Maya nodded, though even a blind man could tell that she didn't believe it.

"What are you getting at Maya?" Iggy asked curiously his unseeing eyes trained rather creepily on Maya. Well, to some it was creepy, to Maya it wasn't bad at all seeing as she was quite used to it.

"It's just…" Maya paused for a moment before sighing. "That sort of thing isn't going to work with Max."

"What do you mean?" Iggy asked through a snort. "If I was a girl, I'd be all up on that with a squeal. Rubbing elbows with a bunch of rich snooty people and getting to have dinner with a star like Fangles along with a guaranteed fabulous dinner. What could possibly be a turn off for her?"

"She's not impressed by things like that," Maya said simply. "Never has been, never will be. When Max came home, she told me all these stories about these seemingly great dates that guys used to take her on. Some of the prettiest places in the world, some of the best restaurants, and she never sounded impressed by them. She called them superficial."

"Well than I predict some problems for Fangles," Iggy said, knocking back the rest of his beer.

"Most likely," Maya agreed. "But, that is SOOOO not our problem."

Iggy's eyebrows shot up before he grinned at her and said mischievously, "No, no it is not."

"Saved by the Bell marathon?" Maya suggested with a knowing grin.

Iggy wrinkled his nose as he admitted, "I've got issues with the last season."

"Same," Maya said with a chuckle as she grabbed two more beers from the fridge and made her way over to where Iggy was already slumped on the couch. He moved remarkably fast for a blind guy. "Now scooch your ass," Maya said with a good-natured grin and a swat on Iggy's butt. Iggy just grinned at Maya as she flopped down horizontally on the couch, her feet flung over the arm rest, her butt practically pressed up against his, and his arms wrapping naturally around her shoulders as she leaned back onto him.

"Remote me," Iggy said in his best deep, dramatic voice, his hand held out expectantly. Maya grinned and presented the remote to Iggy in an equally dramatic fashion that he couldn't see. Iggy thanked her and turned the TV on.

* * *

Fang fiddled with his tie and raked a comb through his rat's nest of a hairdo with a few sharp tugs and appraised himself with a set scowl. He looked okay. He didn't look like himself but he supposed he looked good in the eyes of a squealing fan girl. All he could hope was that he looked good to Max, who was somewhat of a loose cannon.

Fang sighed in exasperation at himself before walking out of Iggy's room that he had claimed for date preparation. He saw Maya and Iggy on the couch, for lack of a better term, snuggling each other. Fang cleared his throat and both looked up at him lazily. Maya swept her gaze up and down Fang slowly before she whistled appreciatively. "Damn boy you clean up well," she said with a smirk.

"All I know is you smell pretty good," Iggy said with a shrug and a sheepish grin. "Good job on not over-doing the cologne."

"Thanks," Fang mumbled, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his suit jacket. "Where's Max?"

"Right here," a voice said behind him with a sigh. Fang turned around and felt his jaw go slack. Fang wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to expect form Max, but it sure as hell wasn't that.

"What?" Max asked self-consciously, looking down at herself. She obviously had thought that she looked fine in the blue dress that Maya had leant her. And by leant, Fang was totally sure that meant that Maya had shoved it forcibly on her, along with the matching earrings, purse, necklace, and two-inch heels that Fang 100% sure Max hadn't picked out herself.

But Max was also absolutely wrong. She didn't look okay, she looked AMAZING. Fang swallowed painfully, his Adam's apple visibly moving up and back down. "Max, you look… wow…" Max smirked at Fang's inarticulate nature and walked over towards him, her hips swaying.

"Well let's go then," she smiled tightly and Fang held out his hand. When she walked past him without looking back once, he sighed and followed her out towards the elevator anticipating a rather awkward elevator ride.

* * *

When the door closed Iggy looked at Max and grinned. "Bet you ten bucks Max leaves his ass at the restaurant and Fang comes home crying."

Maya smirked right back and challenged, "I bet you they have a delightful night and end with a marvelous kiss on the doorstep."

"You're so on," Iggy's eyes glinted and they shook hands before turning back to the TV.

* * *

Fang looked at the wine glass in his hand, swirling the alcohol inside around and around. He looked up at the intricate golden carvings stenciled into the ceiling tiles, over at the old stuffy couple sitting next to him, and at all the expensive plants and draperies placed at every position possible. Eventually, he dared to sneak a peek at Max sitting opposite him at the table and saw her doing pretty much the same thing as he was, just with a glass of water. She was looking everywhere but at Fang.

Finally, Fang cleared his throat rather painfully. "So… are you sure you don't want a glass of wine?" Fang asked in a desperate attempt to initiate conversation.

"No," Max said shortly, shaking her head and taking an almost delicate sip of water.

"How about the Lakers? Pretty good season yeah?"

"Hate basketball."

"The new Batman movie?"

"Ironman all the way."

"Puppies? What are your thoughts on puppies?"

"A puppy once bit me and wouldn't let go for like five minutes."

"Of course it did," Fang muttered, and then louder. "How about your travels?" Max just shrugged uncomfortably and said nothing. Fang felt like pounding his head multiple times on the table and just tossing in the towel… well, napkin. He hadn't crashed and burned on a date this badly ever since sixth grade when he tried asking an eighth grader out on a dare and she kicked him where the sun didn't shine.

"Hey, I'm going to go to the restroom," Max's voice shook Fang out of his trip down Painful Memory Lane. He mumbled some noncommittal response and she stood up and walked off. Fang watched her go and felt in anger he assumed was associated with jealously when nearly every man in the immediate vicinity turned to watch her leave as well. Fang sighed and ran both hands over his face, massaging the creases in his forehead in a vain attempt to get himself to relax.

Out of habit, Fang glanced outside and saw a very familiar flash of light blue and blonde blur pass. Fang stood up abruptly, tossed a hundred dollar bill on the table, and started going after the blur. "Excuse me," his waiter held up her hands in a vain attempt to stop him.

However, Fang was NOT letting her get in his way and he said, "Keep the rest as a tip. Now move!" The waiter was so surprised that she didn't move an inch when Fang pushed pass her. Fang paid no attention to all the gawking spectators as he ran out of the restaurant, his coat flapping behind him.

"Hey, wait!" he shouted, easily catching up to the gorgeous blond who was wobbling down the sidewalk in the heels she was so clearly uncomfortable in.

"Max," Fang all but hissed as he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. They were in a park, or at least a little strip of grass and trees underneath a dim streetlight with a surprising lack of people around them. There was an occasional figure skirting around awkwardly, obviously not recognizing either Fang or 'Maya'.

"What?" Max snapped desperately. "What do you want Nicholas?" Fang felt cold when she used his real name for one of the first times.

"Why'd you run away?" Fang asked dejectedly.

"Because I don't belong here!" Max exclaimed, throwing her hands up, the little purse in her hands wrapping itself around her outstretched arm.

Fang's forehead wrinkled in confusion and he asked, "Under a street light?"

"No," Max replied with a sigh and an eye roll.

"In Los Angeles?" Fang tried again.

"No, Fang," Fang smiled as she went back to using his nick name and not his birth one.

"Here, or there rather, in that restaurant."

"Why not?" Fang asked, stepping closer to Max, grabbing her shoulders and holding her so she couldn't try and escape. Max looked around anxiously for an escape, and upon finding none, she finally looked at Fang.

"Because I just don't. Those people wear shoes that cost thousands of dollars. I wear Converse. Those people drive Ferraris. I bum rides off of my sister's roommates. They wear dresses and suits that are tailor-fitted and from designer labels. I wear t-shirts and jeans with holes that I didn't buy them with. I just don't belong with them Fang." Max was frantic by the end, trying to get Fang to see exactly what she was saying.

Fang looked at Max for a moment in disbelief before whispering, "And you think I do?"

"Yes," Max said with a vicious head nod. "You're just like them."

"No, no I am not," Fang said softly, rubbing his thumbs on the bare skin of Max's shoulders over the goose bumps that had started to form. "Max, don't you get it? Me, your sister, Iggy, we aren't like them. _**I'm**_ not like them. I don't wear designer label suits, this one belonged to my father that I had refitted. My shoes cost forty dollars and were on the sale rack at the shoe outlet. The only thing that is even remotely comparable to what you said is the car, 'cause I do love that car. Like, more than I probably should. Max, I'd rather spend a date with you at an old crappy drive-in Movie Theater that high school dates take their first girlfriend's to than in a stuffy old restaurant."

Max looked at Fang, her eyes searching his and she asked in a barely audibly whisper, "Well why didn't you?"

Fang let out a breathless chuckle and breathed, "I thought that the big fancy, expensive dinner was what all girls want."

"Why, why would I ever want this?"

"I don't know," Fang shrugged helplessly. "I thought this sort of thing swept girls off their feet and had them swooning."

"Yeah, in movies," Max said with a smirk. Fang smiled with her and they shared a laugh. "I would've of liked the high school date," Max said with a tone that Fang supposed was the closest that Max had ever come to shy.

Fang swallowed and looked at Max, suddenly nervous all over again. With as much courage as he could muster, he asked softly, "Let me take you?"

"Take me where?" Max asked, her nose wrinkling in confusion.

"On a date. A real one. Not in a fancy restaurant or anyplace like that. I want to take you to some dive bar that looks shady to even the most adventurous food goers." Max looked uncertain. Fang looked at Max from beneath his bangs and he said sheepishly, "Please Max? Please?" Fang searched Max's eyes and watched with glee as they softened and she nodded. Fang felt his face split in a grin and he moved his hands down her arms to grab her hands as he led her back to the car.

"Where are we going?" Max asked as she squeezed Fang's hand ever so slightly.

Fang reciprocated the squeeze and said with a mischievous grin, "Just wait." Max laughed as she slid into the seat and pulled the hairband holding her hair up in an intricate design out with a sigh of relief. She twisted it again in a long, wavy ponytail and let her hand trail out the window. Fang smiled at her and grabbed her hand for a quick squeeze before he had to go back to the gear shift. He smiled at her and said, "You'll see."

* * *

Fang grinned as Max stared intently. "Go. Go. GO!" There was a moment of absolute silence and concentration before a tacky neon yellow golf ball slipped over the edge of the hole and into it for a hole in one. "Boom!" Max shouted out, her hands and putter waving in the air. "This hole is my bitch!" Fang threw his head back and laughed as Max did an interesting sort of happy dance.

"You're crazy," he laughed, leaning on his own putter.

"Ah but who isn't?" Max snickered. "Makes life a hell of a lot more interesting."

"I suppose it does," Fang said with a chuckle. "Now come on, I've got sixteen other holes to own you at."

"You can try," Max challenged with a competitive smirk. Fang watched as Max walked ahead, her light blue stilettos in one hand, a mini golf putter in the other. Max was padding along bare-footed in her knee length light blue dress with the swooping neckline and most of the back bare at one of the cheapest mini golf courses that Fang could find in a twenty mile radius. Fang followed behind, his suit jacket slung over his shoulder and his shirt rolled up to his elbows with his tie loosened. He supposed that many people would have preferred to have been at that restaurant drinking a fifty dollar bottle of wine, but not Fang. Not with Max.

* * *

"This is delicious," Max practically moaned through a mouthful of food. "Oh sweet mother this is heaven."

"Agreed," Fang sighed. Instead of five-star fine dining, they were both eating massive, incredibly greasy cheeseburgers that would have Paula Dean dabbing at the oil with a napkin at an old diner down the street from the mini golf place. The acne ridden teen at the front booth had suggested it and Fang was glad he'd ignored the kid's wandering eyes long enough to ask. Instead of ambience and decor, there were honking taxis and shouting street vendors. Instead of wine, they were both chugging Cokes, Max sucking hers up from a bendy straw (she had a weird thing where she wouldn't drink straight from the can) and Fang already on his third can.

However, Max was far more relaxed than she had been at the restaurant. Her feet were propped up on one of the other chairs and every now and then; she would reach over and grab one of Fang's French fries with flourish and a mischievous grin. Fang would laugh and grab one of hers in return. They were both laughing and joking around with each other, teasing and mocking in good solid fun, back to the easy friendship that they had developed over the weeks they'd known each other. They were just in fancy clothing. And hell if Fang wasn't having a good time.

* * *

"Hey Fang," Max mumbled sleepily from where she was leaning against the wall in front of the door to the apartment. "Thanks. I had a really good time. You know, after my dramatic exit."

"Yeah," Fang blinked blearily. He looked at Max, her eyes blinking and drooping. Her lips looked red, warm, and inviting and she had a slight blush on her cheeks. In a sudden fit of courage, Fang moved in until there were only three inches separating Max from Fang. Her breath was warm on his cheeks and she smelled like citrus and peppermint. Max made no move to back away and Fang took confidence. He leaned in to close that last couple of inches and made contact with cheek. Max had turned her head at the very last second and Fang sighed.

"Sorry," he breathed against the soft and warm cheek of Max Ride, completely oblivious to the red blush that had most definitely not been there before. Fang turned to hold the door open for Max and was surprised at the indignant squawk that emanated from behind the wooden door.

"What the hell?" Fang snapped as he saw Iggy and Maya both scrambling up from their eavesdropping position on the floor.

"Oh, hi," Iggy chuckled awkwardly, scratching self-consciously at the back of his neck. "How was your evening?"

"Great," Max replied, smiling at Fang as she pushed past her twin and roommate and stumbled to her bedroom, tripping over her feet as she went.

"Good night sis," Maya called out behind Max's stumbling form.

"Goodnight Maxie darling," Iggy yelled. As one they both turned to Fang, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh shut up," he snapped and he flopped dramatically onto the couch, pulling a pillow over his head.

* * *

Maya and Iggy both grinned at each other. When Fang was finally done pouting on the couch and muttering out details of the evening with a pillow over his head, he'd gone into the bathroom to change and get ready for sleep. While he was gone, Iggy and Maya both looked at each other.

As one, they both said, "I won the bet!" And together again, "How?"

Iggy was the first to explain, "She left him at the restaurant!"

"Yeah, but he also said that they had a great night therefore they did not crash and burn!" Maya countered.

"Yeah but Fangles didn't get his goodnight kiss either," Iggy argued back, his arms crossed across his chest, firm and unmoving.

"Fine, no one wins this round," Maya finally said, her lips pursed indicating she wasn't exactly thrilled. Iggy pouted for a few more moments before he conceded.

"So," Iggy drew the word out before smiling crookedly at Maya. "Ready for Season 2?"

"You're on," Maya smiled right back.

* * *

**And FINITO! No, not really. I'm sorry that it's taken me pretty much forever to update this. Like, literally forever. I had some... personal things that needed attending to. Just a head's up warning, I can't really say that I'm going to be consistent in my updating. I'll try, but it's going to be really hard. So just try and respect that I do have other things going on and that sometimes this story just can't be my number 1 priority. **

**But don't worry. I have absolutely no intentions of abandoning this fic. At least not for a very LONG time. So take heart in that, yeah?**

**Also, WE HAVE REACHED OVER 100 REVIEWERS. EEEEEEEEE! This makes me so happy I can't even begin to tell you how much I 'squeeeeed' when I saw the update number. Oh it was marvelous. Now we're aiming for 200! GO! GO! GO!**


	18. Bad Chinese

**Disclaimer: So I own nothing.**

**Fun fact: I'm not dead… awkward… sorry? Anyways, here you all go! Please don't stab me with pitchforks…**

* * *

"Oh never again you bitch!" Maya groaned dramatically from her head resting on the wooden kitchen table.

"I'm the bitch?" Iggy groaned. "You're the one that insisted we make it all the way through Season 2."

"Well you're the one that let me!" Maya exclaimed. "So I blame you!"

"I blame me too," Iggy moaned. "Baaaaaaaad Iggy."

"Shut up!" Maya snapped.

"Damn it, I'm hung-over too. No more yelling. Or talking in general. Just shush your face. Shush it now!"

"Shut up," Maya groaned, her face fully rotated and pushed into the grain of the table. The chair squeaked loudly and both horribly hung-over friends winced as one. "I'm going to the couch," Maya announced.

Iggy groaned and said, "I'll alert the effing media."

"Drama Queen," Maya mumbled as she collapsed face first on their couch with a long drawn out groan.

Iggy hissed slightly at Max but made no conscious effort to move towards her. Suddenly, down the hall, a door was thrown open and both Iggy and Maya winced as the door banged against the opposite wall. Their heads pounding and protesting everything, both hung-over friends looked up to glare at the noisy person. Max was walking casually down the hallway, yawning and stretching as she went. However, she froze when she saw both Iggy and Maya glaring at her.

"What?" she asked in a normal tone, yet both Maya and Iggy winced at the volume. "Ohhhh," Max was whispering now, much to their relief. She walked lightly over to where Maya was lying on the couch and counted all the empty beer bottles on the coffee table. "Sheesh," she whispered, conscious of the fact that Maya was still glaring daggers at her. "How much did the two of you drink?"

"Too much," Maya groaned pitifully as Iggy grunted in agreement.

"Obviously," Max snorted.

"Don't rub it in," Maya moaned. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Max chuckled quietly and said, "Doesn't it always?"

This time it was Iggy moaning, "Shut up!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Max waved her hand dismissively. She padded her way back into the kitchen and rummaged as quietly as she could through the cabinets. She emerged triumphantly with a loaf of bread, a jar of honey, and two glasses.

Max moved silently as she popped two pieces of bread into the toaster and pushed the handle timer down. She filled the water glasses up to the brim and shoved one in Iggy's face and took the other over to Maya. "Drink it," she ordered. When both Maya and Iggy protested, Max smirked viciously. "Drink it or I turn on every light in the apartment and start practicing my drum solo." The water was gone in seconds. With matching groans, both empty glasses were shoved in the air. Max smiled and grabbed both, filling them up again, and telling Maya and Iggy to take their time with these two.

Max slid over to the toaster and popped the toast up before the toaster could do its loud popping thing. She slathered each slice in honey before giving one to the strawberry blond at the kitchen table and the other to the blonde slumped on the couch.

"Eat," she commanded. This time she didn't even have to start threatening as both Iggy and Maya obeyed almost immediately. They didn't get immediate relief but Max seemed to know what she was doing. "Iggy, bed," Max demanded, her finger already pointing down the hall to Iggy's room. "Maya, stay where you are and I'll get you a pillow and blanket."

Maya grunted and protested half-heartedly, "What about work?"

Max smirked at her sister and said, "Due to some sketchy looking Chinese food you two stupidly consumed last night, you are both as of now suffering from a mild case of food poisoning. You should be good to go by tomorrow, but today you need to be within twenty feet of a toilet. If you two end up being still hung-over tomorrow morning, you've got a ready-made excuse."

Iggy looked over his shoulder and said, "Praise you, you sweet, sweet goddess."

"I do try," Max smiled at Iggy and he shuffled down the hallway towards his bedroom.

Maya groaned pitifully and buried her face in the pillow Max tossed at her. She vaguely mumbled a 'thank you' and heard Max pad softly back to her room. After that, Maya was out like a light.

* * *

Max supposed she should probably feel more pity for her twin and her twin's best friend, but she just wasn't feeling the pity. Or sympathy. Maya and Iggy were both fully grown adults (Max used the term loosely). They had both obviously been drunk before and Max felt they should know their limits.

Max herself had been drunk, and consequently hung-over, in over fifteen different countries. And most of the time it was from drinks that she sure as hell had no idea what had been put into them. After her seventh 'mystery shot' she'd stopped questioning it and instead did her best to remember her name. In conclusion, Max knew full well what she could and couldn't take. Her first couple years away from home had led to WAY more drinking than was probably healthy, but as she got older, she calmed down. Sort of.

However, as far as Max was aware, Maya had never been a big drinker, insisting that beer 'smells like piss and probably tastes like it too'. Obviously somewhere along the road, that had changed. Max just didn't know when.

Max pulled on a pair of blue jeans with rips and tears all along them that were so NOT there when she'd bought them (funny story involving a runaway tractor and a horrible misunderstanding with a dirty garden utensil in rural Spain). A V-neck t-shirt and her old pair of converse that had been brand new and pretty when she'd first got them and Max was out the door. Max grabbed Maya's car keys from their convenient hanging hook and she was good to go. Off to pick up her one true love, coffee and doughnuts!

* * *

Fang stumbled out of Iggy's bedroom (a couple of nights ago, Fang had decided that he was done with sleeping on a couch and bought a second twin bed that was currently shoved against the wall of Iggy's room), a determined smirk on his face. He'd heard Max's voice not even ten minutes ago and it had taken him that long to scramble out of bed and untangle himself from the blankets. He hopped down the hallway, yanking up a pair of dark jeans as he went. A dark t-shirt was flung over his shoulder as he skidded around the corner, looking for Max eagerly. However, the kitchen and living room were both devoid of blondes. Or was she brunette? Eh, she was close enough to be classified as a blonde. She had to blame those blonde moments on something…

Oh wait! There was movement in the living room. Someone was on the couch! Fang crept forward, pulling his t-shirt over his head as he went. He peeked over the edge of the couch and saw a slumped over figure snoring and drooling ever so slightly on the couch cushions. Fang exhaled in exasperation when he saw that it was Maya and not his preferred twin. Damn.

Fang raised an eyebrow at the number of beer bottles that littered the coffee table and the Saved by the Bell disc set Seasons 1 and 2 lying haphazardly by the DVD player. While he and Max had had a wonderful time out mini-golfing, it seemed that Maya and Iggy hadn't had a terrible time earlier. Fang smirked slightly and accurately guessed that Maya and Iggy were nursing some pretty nasty hangovers, so after a hygiene stop in the bathroom, he left the apartment to go get breakfast and head off to work.

* * *

Perry Bradshaw was cursing (somewhat) quietly at his coffee machine. The damn thing had been shaking and rattling even more than usual and it was pissing him off. With a roar, he slapped his wide palm on the metallic side of the machine. It gave an ominous rattle before starting right back up, it's sound at a more pleasing volume.

"Nice," someone said from the other side of the counter through a laugh. Perry looked over and saw a familiar dark colored rat's nest of hair. He'd heard some of his more obsessed customers call it 'playfully tousled'. He thought it looked like bedhead, but hey. He was bald as an egg so hairstyle really wasn't his forte.

However, coffee and pastries were very much so, so Perry smiled and said in a gruff, heavily accented voice, "Fang! How are you my man?"

"Good," Fang said with a small smile. If Perry had been anyone else, he'd of been shocked beyond belief at this outward show of emotion. In the two years Perry had known Fang, he'd never seen him laugh of smile.

However, Perry was more controlled than that, so all he said was, "Good. The normal?"

Fang bobbed his head and placed exact change on the counter and shoved an additional two dollars in the tip jar. Perry nodded to him and Fang went to go claim his regular seat, a corner booth tucked away in the back. However, when he approached, he saw that there was someone already sitting in his treasured spot.

They were wearing big, reflexive aviator sunglasses and an old ball-cap so Fang didn't know what the offender looked like. But he got the very distinctive feeling that he knew who it was.

Nonetheless, Fang stalked up and cleared his throat pointedly to get the girl's attention from where it was buried in a newspaper laid flat on the table. The chin tilted up and a surprised voice asked, "Fang?"

That simple word made Fang's whole body get all warm and fuzzy feeling as he slid into the chair across from her. "What are you doing up so early Max?" he asked through a cleverly disguised grin.

"Iggy and Maya have hangovers," Max said by way of explanation.

Fang nodded and said dryly, "I noticed."

Max smiled at Fang widely and she chuckled slightly. Fang smiled ever so slightly and the rest of their meal together was spent in companionable silence. When Max was standing and stretching from her position in the chair and about to make her way out to where she'd parked Maya's car, Fang stood up too and asked, "You ready for today?"

Max cocked her head to the side and asked, "What's today?"

Fang just smirked ominously as he said a little too gleefully, "Stunt work." Max turned pale and she made a squeak that sounded remarkably like, "Eep," and Fang grinned again.

As the two walked out, Fang saw Perry wiggling his eyebrows and nodding after him. Had it been anyone else, Fang would have brushed it off. However, Perry had seen Fang avidly avoid his fangirls for many months and was never one to jump to conclusions. Apparently Fang was just a little too good at the attentive boyfriend for his own damn good.

* * *

Max was all make-up coated and staring incredulously at the stunt coordinator, a man by the name of Gerard. "You want me to what?" she asked, desperately hoping that she'd misheard the man the first time.

"It's quite simple actually," the large, overly-muscled man smiled with teeth that looked like they belonged to a hockey player. "You are going to fake a fight, and then you're going to get hit by a car. Easy."

"Yeah…" Max smiled before she looked incredulous. "Not really! I don't know a damn thing about faking a fight or how to properly get run over by cars."

Gerard smiled again and said, "That's what I tried to tell the Director, but he was quite confident in your abilities. Also, trade secret kiddo," he called after Max who was walking towards the filming area with a look of dread plainly evident on her face. "There is no right way to get hit by a car."

"Well that's comforting," Max mumbled to herself.

Twenty minutes of explanation and camera repositioning later and Max still had no idea what the hell she was about to get herself into. Although she appeared to be standing in the middle of a fake parking garage. "Alright, are you ready?" the Director asked (more like shouted at) her.

"No!" Max exclaimed truthfully and more than a little hysterically.

"That's the spirit!" the Director shouted. "And remember, act surprised!"

"Surprised for what?" Max started asking when the Director blatantly interrupted her.

"And action!"

"Wait? Action? What action?" That was all that Max had time to stutter out before out of nowhere, a guy dressed in an impeccable business suit was quite literally flying out of the air and attacking Max. Max had no idea what the hell she was expected to do, but she went purely on instinct. And instinct was telling her, to duck and avoid the business ninja currently attempting to take her head off.

This fight scene went on quite a bit longer, Max struggling to hold her own against the man. She was ducking and diving around attacks. Of course she couldn't avoid every hit aimed at her, but she took the pain from the hits all in stride and punched right back. At some point she thought the man was actually looking at her in fear, but that was completely and utterly ridiculous. Max wasn't dangerous…

Okay so yes she was, but this guy attacked first. Serves him right. Asshat. Out of the very corner of her eye, Max saw a PA (one of the more competent ones she noticed vaguely) motioning that the time was up and that Max needed to wrap it up. With one last furious right hook to the guy's jaw that Max knew for a fact was going to leave at least some sort of bruise (not her fault), the guy was down for the count.

Max walked over the business ninja who was lying in a dented crater in one of the fake cars. She knelt forward, her face right next to the man's and she whispered, "You messed with fire." She then proceeded to stalk forward and off the set in what she hoped was a menacing and bad ass fashion, wiping at some not quite fake enough blood collecting in the corner of her mouth. When she was right at the edge of the camera's angle, she heard tires squealing and she turned right at the last second to see a massive black SUV flooring it towards her.

Max didn't even have time to brace herself when the car slammed into her side and she was bouncing lifelessly on the ground. Max's head hit the ground with a rather painful crack and suddenly everything was dark.

* * *

Fang watched mesmerized as one of the many fight scenes of the film was being filmed. Max, who he was positive had never been in a choreographed fight, was apparently taking to it like a fish to water. Everyone on set watched as Max and of the professional stunt doubles that was on call for the movie duked it out. Max, who had looked like she was beyond confused and awkward at the start was now flowing gracefully across the camera. Of course, she was flowing gracefully in a fight while she wailed on the stunt double, but that was beside the point.

The point was that Max looked beautiful and deadly. She reminded Fang of a tigress or lioness. Beautiful, true, but she could probably kick everyone's asses into next Sunday. As she was now demonstrating. Max watched the final punch that had Fang wincing for the poor guy and the fight was over. That scene was definitely one for the books as most badass fights that Fang had ever seen, at least in person. Max bent down and whispered something in the man's ear and then she was walking off.

As Max was stalking away from the fight in possibly the most badass way possible, Fang felt himself in awe. This girl. This beautiful (he was using this word a lot lately in his head), strong, and apparently dangerous as hell girl, had just whooped a man that made a living out of fighting. Holy hell in a gorgeous blonde package with a hell of a right hook. Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of tires squealing broke through the awed silence and the SUV was heading straight on course for Max.

Fang felt his stomach clench, who wouldn't be worried about a car heading straight for their girlfriend. Even if it was a totally fraudulent relationship. It had to count for something, right? However, when the car rammed straight into Max and she fell to the cement floor in a crumpled ball, all grace gone. Right away Fang knew something was very wrong. There was no reason that she should have collapsed to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Fang was jumping up and heading over to Max before the Director even had time to shout, "Cut!" He knelt down next to her, immediately alarmed when he saw that she wasn't conscious. Fang never even got to ask what he was supposed to do when the paramedics on hand every time a stunt was filmed were pushing him out of the way and kneeling next to Max. Fang had absolutely no idea what was going on. All he knew was that Max had just been hit by a car and that she wasn't moving. Well shit.

* * *

**So I actually did my research on the hangover cures thing (Seeing as I've never been hung-over) and there's some nasty shit out there! Like one guy recommended I drink pickle juice and beef bouillon. That's nastier than I can even care to think about. So what about you all? Heard any really nasty ones?**

**And I've also forgotten to do my writer's tip for I think the last three chapters, so here it is**

**Chapter length. This is probably the most controversial tip I could possibly write. I personally am a fan of longer chapters, it makes me feel like there's more time put into it. For example, almost all of my chapters are three thousand words before I even do the ending author note and the disclaimer. Unless the summary grabs my attention and practically demands that I read that story, I won't click on a story that doesn't have a thousand words a chapter. Also, if it's only a hundred words or so, 99,999 out of 100,000 times I won't click on it. A hundred words just aren't enough to get what's important across, you know?**

**Happy hunting and don't play with fire! BYE!**


End file.
